screamer Page 87 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dirk Nowitzki Struggles With Soccer
Dirk Nowitzki officially re-signed with the Mavericks this afternoon, but he spent the day playing in a charity soccer game in Mainz and showed why he should stick with basketball....
Soccer Team Kicks Opponent's Ass In Game; Fans Literally Kick Opponent's Ass After It
You might’ve thought that fans of Bella Vista would’ve been content to merely bask in the glory of their team’s title-winning victory against Tiro Federal in one of Argentina’s lower divisions, but this is soccer and Argentina. What was the final whistle for the match itself was the starting sound f...
Juventus's Ungodly Fee For Gonzalo Higuaín Is Well Worth It
Okay, sure. When you first saw the name Gonzalo Higuaín—one part veteran, world-class, goalscoring bulldozer, one part habitual choke artist—associated with a transfer fee teetering dangerously close to the €100 million mark, you probably had to clench your eyes closed and press the palms of your ha...
Chelsea Players Don't Know Anything About America
Out in sunny California for their preseason training/money-grabbing tour, a few Chelsea players took a break from running their legs off to be tested on their knowledge of American history. They, uh, don’t know much....
Mario Balotelli Crashes Wedding Photoshoot
Mario Balotelli’s career may be in shambles, as one of the most talented young forwards in the world languishes alongside the teens that make up Liverpool’s reserve team as the club desperately searches for some sucker to offload him on, but hey, at least he still does funny things from time to time...
Andrey Arshavin's Still Got It<em></em><em></em>
Hey, remember Andrey Arshavin, the diminutive Russian who once scored all four goals in Arsenal’s classic 4-4 draw with Liverpool, and then didn’t really do anything for the next three years? Yeah, that guy. Well, he now plays for FC Kairat in the Kazakhstan Premier League, and yesterday against FC ...
Minnesota United Goalkeeper Concedes Maybe The World's Dumbest Own Goal
I am wary of lapsing into superlatives over every old highlight, but with that qualifier out of the way, this might be the dumbest own goal I have ever seen....
Report: Next England Manager Will Be Big Sam Allardyce
England manager Roy Hodgson quit after his team was knocked out of the Euro round of 16 by plucky Iceland, two years after his unimaginative tactics and poor squad selection saw England finish at the bottom of their group at the 2014 World Cup. According to Sky Sports, the FA have found Hodgson’s re...
League One Club That Invented Raffle Winner Finds Its Fall Guy
The sports world is still reeling from the revelation that third-tier English soccer club Chesterfield FC recently falsified the results of a fan raffle that only four people entered, awarding a preseason trip to Hungary with the team to a non-existent fan. Attempting to regain the public’s trust, t...
Premier League To Crack Down On "Intolerable Behaviour" Like Players Swearing At Referees
Citing “intolerable behaviour by players and managers in their competitions [that] have reached unacceptable levels in certain areas,” the Premier League announced Wednesday that referees will “take a stronger position and action towards unacceptable participant conduct” next season....
Nobody Enters League One Team's Raffle; Team Makes Up Fake Winner, Gets Caught
Chesterfield FC, a soccer team currently toiling away in England’s third tier, thought it would be a good idea to invite its fans to participate in a raffle, the winner of which would get to join the team on a preseason tour of Hungary. It turned out to be a very, very bad idea....
Ronaldinho Is Playing Futsal In India And Owning People Left And Right
Ronaldinho is one of the very best dribbling technicians of his era, and he can make anyone look like a damn fool for swiping at him while he’s doing his thing. He’s currently in the twilight of his career, and he just wrapped up a brief (more on this in a bit) tour with Goa of the Indian Premier Fu...
You Really Don't Want To Watch Demba Ba's Super Nasty Broken Leg
We’ve seen our fair share of disgusting-looking leg injuries, but watching Demba Ba’s heretofore straight shin turn into the letter Z in a Shangai Shenhua-Shanghai SIPG game is probably the worst of them all. That poor, poor man....
Joe Cole Bicycle Kick Delivers Rowdies Win; Yes, You Read That Correctly
Joe Cole, who in his younger days scored a number of famous goals for Chelsea and the English national team, showed a small spark of the wonder years last night in St. Petersburg with a bicycle kick that helped pace his current Tampa Bay Rowdies squad to a 3-0 win....
The Newest Front In The Barcelona-Real Madrid Rivalry Is Photoshopping Ronaldo's Abs
For the motivated and inspired, there is a nearly unending list of things you can criticize and/or laugh at Cristiano Ronaldo about. One of the few things not on that list is disputing the chiseled nature of every inch of the man’s body. And yet a Catalan TV station tried exactly that when they snuc...
Defender Shows Off Technique, Sweet Shooting Stroke With Impressive Own Goal
There’s so much quality in this Žarko Udovičić goal that you really need to watch the full video over and over to truly appreciate it all:...
Twitter Prankster Fools Sky Sports Into Reading Made Up Facts About Team From Gibraltar
Yesterday afternoon, Celtic lost a 1-0 stunner in Champions League qualifying to the Lincoln Red Imps, who are a semi-professional team from Gibraltar. A police officer scored the lone goal, and Celtic now have to win at home to avoid getting bounced by the best team from a country of 30,000....
Ronaldo's Performance During Euro Final Was Like Christ's Victory Over Sin And Death, Says His Sister
Cristiano Ronaldo didn’t turn water into wine or rise from the dead or even play the vast majority of the Euro 2016 final Portugal won last weekend. But he did hurt his knee and cry, which was apparently enough for his sister to compare him to Christ on the cross....
Mighty Celtic FC Lose Champions League Qualifier To Lincoln Red Imps, Who We Swear Are A Real Team
Celtic FC’s annual European humiliation came early this year, as they lost today in the Champions League second qualifying round against a team of semi-professionals from Gibraltar. A police officer scored the only goal in the 1-0 victory. ...
Something Like 20 Dudes Try To Stop Ramires From Murdering A Referee
Remember Ramires, that quiet, unassuming, indefatigable midfielder you used to see running around in Chelsea’s blue or Brazil’s yellow? Well, he’s in China now, and apparently something—the air, the food, the refereeing—has eroded his sanguine demeanor in just a few short months....