screamer Page 92 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

David De Gea Implicated In Criminal Case Against Accused Sex Trafficker
Today, Spanish paper El Diario released police documents they’ve acquired that implicate Manchester United goalkeeper David De Gea and Athletic Bilbao midfielder Iker Muniaín in the ongoing criminal investigations against Spanish pornographer Ignacio Allende Fernández....
![UEFA Claim That The Euro 2016 Mascot Is Not A Sex Toy [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/ogfan7ptrxczlevnrfdk.jpg)
UEFA Claim That The Euro 2016 Mascot Is Not A Sex Toy [NSFW]
That’s Super Victor, the mascot of Euro 2016! Hi, buddy! He’s cute, huh? Kinda like Ness from Super Smash Bros. What a nice mascot, let’s Google him to find out more information!...

Luis Suárez Threw Himself A Temper Tantrum And I Can't Really Blame Him
Uruguay are in big trouble at the Copa America after dropping their opener to Mexico, 3-1 on Sunday, then falling 1-0 to Venezuela this evening. They only managed to out one shot on frame tonight, and striker Edinson Cavani was awful. He is Uruguay’s best healthy attacker (more on that in a second) ...

This Gyasi Zardes Lowlight Reel Is Very Rude And Very Funny
United States forward Gyasi Zardes has quickly established himself as one of Jürgen Klinsmann’s favorite attackers, racking up five goals and 26 caps in his first two years with the national team. He’s a perfectly fine runner and finisher, but good lord, his first touch looks like he’s playing socce...

MLS Team Not Happy About Brazilian Manager Dissing The League
Washed-up Brazilian legend Kaká was originally left off of his country’s Copa América roster because he is old and past it and plays in MLS, the old-timers’ league. With Brazilian internationals dropping like flies to injury in the lead up to the tournament, manager Dunga eventually did give Kaká a ...

Philippe Coutinho Is Soccer's Ultimate Heat-Check Guy
We’re all familiar with the heat-check guy in basketball. That is a guy, usually a yappy wing player tasked with the sole responsibility of getting buckets from off the bench, who exhibits such outsized confidence in his jumper that, when he gets it going with a few consecutive Js, he’s prone to thr...

James Rodríguez Might Fuck Around And Win The Copa América By Himself
Because this 100 year anniversary version of the Copa América hosted in the U.S. is widely understood as the made-up, money-scrounging ruse that it is, there are only a select few teams that have both the talent and the motivation to go out and win the thing....

Uruguay Players Say Referee Taunted Them By Grabbing His Dick And Balls
The video you see above shows a couple Uruguay players haranguing the referees immediately after their 3-1 loss against Mexico in the Copa America on Sunday. You might imagine that the fervor of the players’ protestations was piqued by the pregame national anthem gaffe, plus the shellacking Mexico j...

See, The USMNT Isn't Terrible After All!
As Clint Dempsey strutted over toward the corner flag after converting a penalty in the 9th minute that gave the Americans the all-important, pressure valve-releasing lead on Costa Rica, he channeled his inner Cristiano Ronaldo and mimicked the Real Madrid forward’s famous “Calma” gesture. “Settle d...

Victor Ayala Smashes In The Goal Of The Copa America
Colombia was comfortably hammering Paraguay into the dirt until Victor Ayala picked this one up and smoked it past David Ospina to cut Paraguay’s deficit to 2-1....

The USMNT Is Getting Hot At Exactly The Right Time
After the USMNT lost 2-0 to Colombia last Friday, Jürgen Klinsmann was as optimistic as any coach will ever be after a scoreless tournament-opening loss. He told reporters he was “absolutely okay” with how his team played, and even said, “There was no difference besides the two goals.” While the exp...

U.S. Soccer Boss Hints Trump Presidency Could Cost U.S. The World Cup
Donald Trump—one of the gremlins from Gremlins, but racist—is most likely going to be the nominee of the Republican party. As outlandish as his political takes are, and as favored as his likely opponent is, there’s a legit shot he becomes the next president of the United States. One effect of a Trum...

Greek Guy Scores The Goal Of His Life From Behind The Halfway Line
Safe to say Greece’s Ioannis Maniatis will never top this jaw-dropping 60-yard bomb he hit today in a friendly against Australia. Not a bad way to peak....

Chelsea Settle Former Team Doctor's Lawsuit Against Club And José Mourinho
After José Mourinho blew up on then-Chelsea team doctor Eva Carneiro during a game back in August, apparently for her unforgivable sin of tending to an injured player, and after he then demoted her for said unforgivable sin, and after Carneiro was like “Screw this, I’m out of here, and I’m suing all...

I Can't Stop Watching Luis Suárez Waving His Hand Like A Weirdo
Seriously, who does it like this?...

The USMNT Needs To Go Young Or Die
The United States Men’s National Team will open the Copa America Centenario—a wonderfully entertaining Frankentournament that the U.S. is hosting only through sheer force of corruption—with a match against Colombia tonight in Santa Clara, Calif. Colombia is the shit. They could have taken down Brazi...

Holy Hell, Are Arsenal Really About To Buy Jamie Vardy?
Normally, we don’t like contributing to the transfer rumor-industrial complex, where newspapers and websites churn out story after story about hypothetical moves backed up with the thinnest evidentiary threads that almost never actually happen. This, however, is different. This is crazy....

Judge Rules USWNT Must Abide By No-Strike Clause
A federal judge ruled Friday that the United States Women’s National Team is bound by a no-strike clause, ruling out the possibility of a strike before or during the upcoming Rio Olympics....

FIFA Reveals $80 Million In Probably Illegal Payments, Headquarters Raided Again
FIFA headquarters in Zurich, Switzerland, were raided yesterday by police, as they sought evidence that former top FIFA officials Sepp Blatter, Jerome Valcke, Markus Kattner illegally awarded themselves $80 million in pay raises and bonuses, AP reports. Blatter and Valcke were previously banned from...

FIFA's New President Has A Couple Huge Scandals Brewing Already
Just a couple of months ago, newly elected FIFA president Gianni Infantino promised to usher in an era of accountability for soccer’s scandal-ravaged governing body. Not a month ago, he declared FIFA’s annus horribilis officially over, while quietly snatching unprecedented executive authority. And n...