screamer Page 93 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Rainstorm Interrupted By MLS Game
You might not be able tell this apart from everyday MLS action, but if you look closely, you’ll see that the field is a bit, uh, damp....
Hatem Ben Arfa Won't Be At The Euros, But Let's Watch Him Flay Defenders Anyway
Overshadowed in the international selection controversy sparked by Eric Cantona’s comments and Karim Benzema’s fanning of the flames was Cantona’s lamentation that Hatem Ben Arfa wasn’t called up for the France team for the Euros. As understandable as the Ben Arfa snub is, it’s still sad. Because Be...
Karim Benzema Blames Racism—Not His Alleged Involvement In Blackmailing Teammate Over Sex Tape—For Euros Snub
In normal circumstances, Karim Benzema would be at the top of the world right now. Fresh off a great season at Real Madrid that culminated in Champions League glory, he should be getting ready to lead France in the Euro 2016 tournament as the host nation’s best player. Instead, he’ll be watching it ...
Neymar Sucks At Baseball
Barcelona forward Neymar is currently spending part of what passes for an offseason (in just a few weeks he’ll be off training with the national team for the Olympics) here in New York City. Like many a soccer star visiting the states, Neymar has dabbled in the local sports culture, taking in a Mets...
David Alaba Scored Just The Dumbest Own Goal
Transitioning from a bunch of Champions League games and a cup final to a relatively placid friendly against Malta can be a shock to the system. Rarely, however, does it result in such a hilarious, dumb own goal, like the one Bayern Munich star David Alaba scored on his own team this afternoon....
Paul Pogba Is A Goddamn Freak
This is one of those goal highlights where I couldn’t care less about what the scorer—in this case, France’s Olivier Giroud, who finished the play with a nice little volley—does. The only thing I’m here for is this spectacular long-range cross by Paul Pogba. It’s unreal....
So What If Real Madrid Got Lucky?
Depending on your prejudices and proclivities, there are two ways you can view Real Madrid overcoming Atlético Madrid on penalties in this weekend’s tense but unspectacular Champions League final. One’s perhaps a little too cynical, the other a touch too positive, but both are mostly fair and accura...
Report: Mexican Striker Alan Pulido Escapes From Kidnappers, Shot One Of Them
Alan Pulido escaped from his captors by shooting one of them, reports Proceso, bringing an end to the kidnapping that began when armed men took the Mexican striker from outside a restaurant in his hometown of Ciudad Victoria on Saturday night....
Pachuca Win Liga MX Clausura On 93rd-Minute Goal
Pachuca defeated Monterrey 2-1 on aggregate last night after Victor Guzmán’s goal in the third minute of injury time, delivering Los Tuzos their first league title in nine years....
Reports: Mexican Striker Alan Pulido Kidnapped
Mexican media sources are reporting Alan Pulido is missing after reportedly being taken by armed kidnappers outside a restaurant in his hometown of Ciudad Victoria, where the Olympiakos striker had returned following the end of the Greek league season....
Cristiano Ronaldo's Son Trolled Him Again
It’s official now: Cristiano Ronaldo’s son already has the natural impulses of a seasoned troll, at only five years old. We knew about his huge fandom of Ronaldo’s biggest rival, Lionel Messi, we’ve seen him tweak his grandma along those same lines, and we’re pretty confident Junior knew what he was...
Mike Francesa Is Very Annoyed That <i>Sports Illustrated</i> Put Lionel Messi On Its Cover
If Mike Francesa’s visceral disdain for soccer didn’t come through clear enough when he stumbled his way through a simple MLS ad read last week, today’s rant aimed at SI for their decision to dedicate the mag’s cover to Lionel Messi and a big portion of its coverage (specifically, as Mike discovers:...
Chelsea Literally Own "José Mourinho"
If you’re wondering why it’s been taking Manchester United and José Mourinho to seal their inevitable marriage, you’re not alone. With all the big things like salary and years and the like already hammered out per reports, all that’s left are the small details. Only the small details in internationa...
What Does Brendan Rodgers Really Want Out Of This Celtic Job?
Brendan Rodgers—one of the hottest young names in management just a couple of years ago thanks to his exploits leading a ragtag Liverpool group to the precipice of the Premier League title—selected the next destination on his coaching career this past Friday. At Celtic. In Scotland. Not exactly foll...
Here's An Old Video Of Peter Crouch Getting Funky At An EDM Concert
Peter Crouch is most known for 1) being a lumbering giant of a striker who somehow parlayed his head’s altitude and the middling skills that came with the rest of his body into a surprisingly good career with the English national team, and 2) for doing the Robot a few times after scoring. Thanks to ...
Italy Manager On Pirlo And Giovinco Snubs: If You Play In MLS, You Pay The Consequences
Antonio Conte, manager of the Italian national team, has the distinct misfortune of heading into a major international tournament with the worst crop of Italian players in recent memory. So unimpressive is the 30-man preliminary roster he just announced, the bulk of which will make up the squad he t...
FIFA Exec Fired For Giving Himself Millions Of Dollars In Secret Bonuses
Yesterday, Markus Kattner was the interim secretary general of FIFA, a post he stepped into when his predecessor, Jérôme Valcke, was suspended for all sorts of shady money deals. Yesterday, the most prominent news clippings his name popped up were in relation to his awareness of the secret payment b...
Who's Behind The Louis van Gaal Smear Campaign?
We’re reportedly only hours away from Manchester United’s beleaguered manager Louis van Gaal finally getting the ax, and maybe only days away from the similarly inevitable announcement that José Mourinho’s ass will replace van Gaal’s in that gilded though bloodstained manager’s seat at Old Trafford....
Aston Villa's New Owner Is ... A Little Questionable
In defending his enormous ambitions for Aston Villa, the English club he officially became the new owner of on Wednesday, a few short weeks after the team had been relegated from the Premier League in disastrous fashion, 39-year-old Chinese businessman Tony Xia said in an interview, “At least [until...
Dumb Teen Dresses Up In Full England Kit, Invades National Team's Practice
Wily British teen Harry Peak got in his silly little teenaged brain a silly little idea for a prank: what if he showed up to the English national team’s open practice, decked out in a full England kit, and tried getting onto the field by pretending he was a player? Like most plans borne of the teena...