screamer Page 94 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
MLS Keeper Nick Rimando's Fucked-Up Finger Is A Good Party Trick
Real Salt Lake goalkeeper Nick Rimando shared an Instagram photo of his hand yesterday, and his pinkie looked like it’s trying to get away from the rest of his hand. You were warned:...
Angry Italian Soccer Guys Slap The Shit Out Of A Referee
Sure, it has to suck to lose a promotion playoff match thanks to a penalty given a minute before the final whistle, as was the case when Isolese lost to Sciarborasca earlier this month in Italy’s eighth division. But going psycho on the ref like this isn’t the right response, either:...
Silvio Berlusconi To AC Milan's Players: Stop Sucking Or I Won't Pay You
Libidinous tangerine peel, AC Milan owner, and proto-Trump Silvio Berlusconi is mad. The media magnate has owned Milan for a few decades now, but never before has he had to suffer through such a drab spell of mediocrity. Talking to the players ahead of the biggest match of the season, Berlusconi mad...
Sevilla Are The Kings Of Europa Once Again
For the third straight year, and fifth time in 11 years, Sevilla have played in and won the Europa League final, defeating Liverpool 3-1. Next season they’ll take their deserved place in the Champions League, and hope to never return....
Liverpool Fan Takes In The Big Game
Liverpool are currently taking on Sevilla in the Europa League final. Seeing how important this game is for both clubs, it’s no wonder many fans made the trek to Basel to support their team in person. Like this Liverpool fan, for instance, who seems to be enjoying himself:...
Daniel Sturridge Scores Ridiculous Outside-Foot Curler
The Europa League final between Liverpool and Sevilla was a taut, back-and-forth affair, until Liverpool striker Daniel Sturridge broke the game open in the 35th minute with this beautiful strike. Make sure you stick around for the behind-the-goal angle that shows just how much curl the outside of S...
Mike Francesa Is Very Confused By Basically Everything Related To MLS
Here is a non-comprehensive list of the things Mike Francesa exhibits serious confusion about during what should’ve been a short promo advertising tickets to an NYCFC-NY Red Bulls game: that NYCFC and the Red Bulls are in fact two separate teams; the correct pronunciation of international superstar ...
Here Are All 36 Goals From Gonzalo Higuaín's Amazing, Record-Breaking Season
As inarguably great as Gonzalo Higuaín has been for the better part of a decade now, he tends to be overlooked when it comes time to rhapsodize about the great pure strikers in the world. But after the season he just put together at Napoli, scoring 36 goals in 35 matches and thus breaking Serie A’s ...
Santi Cazorla's Sports Baby Proves He's The Best Arsenal Sports Baby
Santi Cazorla apparently has a future in coaching, judging from the skills he’s already imparted upon his 5-year-old son Enzo. Watch little Enzo clown on some other Arsenal tots above, and then watch it again from a different angle here:...
Barcelona Had A Magical Season By Anyone's Standards But Their Own
Whether you’re a perennial title contender or an underfunded minnow or something in between, the real measuring sticks each team’s seasons are judged by are expectations—for better and for worse. Expectations can be unrealistic or sensible, surpassed or fallen short of, but either way, fans and club...
Eden Hazard Totally Owned A Small Child
Now that he’s starting to feel like himself again, Chelsea’s Eden Hazard can’t seem to turn the ruthlessness off. Here is he owning his young son, Leo, after Chelsea’s season ending 1-1 draw with Leicester City....
Turkish Soccer Fans <i>Maybe</i> Overreact To Team's Relegation; Try Burning Stadium Down
Sure, relegation from the top division sucks. We get that. But seriously, Eskişehirspor fans? Setting the stadium on fire? That’s what’s hot in the streets? Really?...
Why A Gut-Wrenching St. Totteringham's Day Could Be Just What Tottenham Needed
St. Totteringham’s Day, that annual spring tradition where Arsenal celebrate the moment they’ve definitively affixed local blood rivals Tottenham firmly in their league table rearview mirror for good. It is an achievement almost assumed by birthright at this point, like the Patriots winning the AFC ...
![Suspicious Package At Old Trafford Leads To Match Abandonment [UPDATING]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/lqwu77vxrwfwsuidgmkd.jpg)
Suspicious Package At Old Trafford Leads To Match Abandonment [UPDATING]
Manchester United’s match against Bournemouth has been abandoned after a “Code Red” situation led to stands being evacuated and the discovery of a suspicious package....
FIFA’s New President Just Gave Himself More Power Than Sepp Blatter Ever Had
When we supposed what a Gianni Infantino FIFA presidency would look like back when he won the office in February, we saw visions of a celebrity-friendly, photo op-ready, travel-loving, money-giving, but basically powerless tenure. In some ways, this has been borne out already in his still-budding te...
Bob Bradley's Le Havre Miss Out On Promotion To Ligue 1 By One Goal
Aww hell. Bob Bradley, former USMNT coach, took over French second-division club Le Havre in November and got the team off and running towards promotion to Ligue 1. Heading into today, Le Havre trailed Metz by three points and six goals. To make it to a top European league for the first time, Bradle...
Czech Refs Show Up To Work Drunk, Stumble And Piss All Over The Field, Get Fired
Not all refereeing positions are made equal. Running around with the players in the middle of the action as the head ref is probably cool, but being parked on the sideline as an assistant must be boring. Two Czech men cast in these less-than-glamorous roles decided to spice up their day by getting s...
Lower-League Spanish Team Unveils Kit That Makes Players Look Like They've Been Skinned Alive
You’ve probably never heard of CD Palencia, and probably never will again. The club plays in Spanish fourth division, though they currently are in the playoffs for promotion to the third. To support their promotion hopes, they’ve unveiled a new kit. It is ... strange....
Columbus Crew Trade Away Top Scorer Following Dumb Penalty-Kick Beef
Now, I don’t know much about MLS, but trading your top scorer coming off a season where he tied the league lead for most goals all because he got into an argument about who would take a penalty in what should’ve been a blow-out seems really, really weird to me. And yet these appear to be the facts o...
Report: Everton To Fire Roberto Martínez Today
Well, that didn’t take long. After just three seasons at Everton—the first of which was a rousing success and seemed to mark the manager and club for coming greatness—Roberto Martínez is reportedly all set to be fired today. It’s both understandable and a little strange. Update: It’s official, he’s ...