screamer Page 99 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bulgarian Soccer Guys Prove That Splashing Around In Puddles Never Gets Old
I would tell these guys playing deep in Bulgaria’s lower leagues on the bog that passes for a pitch to grow up, but it all looks like so much fun that I’m just mad me and my friends don’t jump and kick around in big puddles anymore:...
Wild Soccer Game In New Zealand Ends With 7 Goals, 6 Red Cards
Welcome to the Oceania Champions League, where the stakes are high, the fuses are short, and the goals and red cards flow in almost equal measure. The above highlights come from a match between Kiwi FC and Nadi FA, which began like any other soccer match, only to eventually devolve into chaos....
Christian Pulisic, The Latest "Savior Of American Soccer," Is More Than Just Hype
You can count the number of soccer teams in the world better than Borussia Dortmund on one hand. Last season, the German club struggled with the loss of Robert Lewandowski and the impending loss of Jürgen Klopp and wound up with a sorry seventh-place league finish. One year later and they are back a...
Nigel de Jong Brought His Horror Tackles With Him To MLS
Nigel de Jong—who you might remember from the time he karate kicked Xabi Alonso in the chest during the World Cup Finals, or the time he broke Stuart Holden’s leg in a friendly, or the time he fractured Hatem Ben Arfa’s tibia and fibula, or all the other times he made violent tackles—now plies his t...
Jamie Vardy's Bulldozing Goal Is A Metaphor For Leicester City's Season
Watch this latest Jamie Vardy goal, his 21st of the season. Watch him pick up the ball at the halfway line, cooly assess the situation, and decide on the brute-force move of “kick it past the motherfucker and run.” Watch him bulldoze Patrick Van Aanholt, slip past Vito Mannone, and secure a 2-0 win ...
High School Soccer Player Earns Two-Game Suspension For Sacking Opponent
Pine Forest (N.C.) High School keeper Cassie Sturtz earned a two-game suspension when she went Goldberg on an Pinecrest opponent late in her team’s 4-1 loss on Thursday....
Minor League Soccer Team Has Minor League Media Operation
The Charleston Battery are a soccer team that play in the United Soccer League—the third tier of American soccer, below MLS and the NASL—and average about 4,000 fans a game. You would think they’d be happy with any media coverage they could get, especially from South Carolina’s most-read newspaper. ...
Goalie Scores Improbably Stupid Own Goal
Goalie Mickael Roche somehow scored this own goal in an Oceania Champions League match between AS Tefana (Tahiti) and Nadi (Fiji). If you recognize Roche’s name from anything, it’s probably because he was the poor sap in goal when Spain blasted Tahiti 10-0 in the 2013 Confederations Cup....
God, I Love Watching Tobin Heath Humiliate Defenders
For some, it’s probably difficult to pick a favorite USWNT player, what with our overflow of world-elite talent all over the place, and especially at striker, where our backup’s backup’s backup would most likely start for any other national team in the world. For me, though, the answer’s pretty easy...
These Animated Soccer Highlights Are Super Cool
Over at Bleacher Report, animator Case Jernigan has made artistic renderings of some of this season’s most memorable soccer tricks and feints. The results are pretty awesome:...
Toni Kroos Knocks A Tooth Out Of Wolfsburg Player's Head
Wolfsburg left it all on the field yesterday to secure their commanding 2-0 advantage over Real Madrid in the Champions League, including the blood, sweat, tears, and incisor of full back Vieirinha:...
Elated Idiot On The Field Expresses The World's Feelings On Real Madrid's Loss
Sometimes, when watching a sporting event that breaks exactly the way you wished for but in no way could’ve realistically expected, the only response is to cruise around the living room/bar/office you’re watching it in, arms aloft, with a big dumb grin on your face, ecstatic at your good fortune. Fo...
Manchester City Gift-Wrap Game-Tying Goal For PSG
“So far so good for City,” the commentator remarks before the screen cuts to a replay of the goal that put Manchester City 1-0 up on Paris Saint-Germain just minutes earlier. As Kevin De Bruyne’s shot is shown hitting the back of the net again, the Parisian crowd roars. Not because of the replay, bu...
If Atlético Madrid Don't Beat Barcelona Next Week, Nobody Will
Now this—with intensity overflowing from the first whistle until the last, and frantic, blitzkrieg attacking being thwarted by heroic defending—was everything El Clásico was not....
The Pharaoh Stephan El Shaarawy Is Back From The Dead
It’s easy to forget that not all progress follows a smooth curve. Despite the natural desire to contextualize the entirety of a person’s growth in sports into a neat little narrative—one of an emergent, inchoate talent that gradually develops as crawling turns into walking, followed by a rapid ascen...
Check Out The Absurd Backheel Volley This French Guy Scored
Boy, do these dudes in France’s lower tiers know how to score wondergoals. After last week’s backheel-to-overhead kick golazo, we now have Jordan Blondel upping the stakes by sizing up a long ball from his own half, and while backpedaling towards goal, kicking the ball in with his heel. From outside...
Bad Soccer Man Gets Sent Off For Mushing His Own Teammate
What was it with shoving your buddies this weekend? You’re supposed to be brothers, goddammit!...
Panama Papers Reveal FIFA Ethics Committee Member Might Have A Problem With Ethics
Juan Pedro Damiani is a longstanding member of FIFA’s ethics committee, the primary internal body that as of late has been tasked with rooting out the corruption of FIFA’s members and banning them from soccer’s governing body. From what we know about FIFA, it shouldn’t shock you to discover that Dam...
Gonzalo Higuaín Loses His Mind After Getting Red Card
I’m getting the feeling that Gonzalo Higuaín didn’t exactly agree with this referee’s decision. Though maybe shoving everyone on the pitch—including many of his own teammates—is just how he expresses internal disappointment....
USMNT Players Ether Abby Wambach
USWNT legend Abby Wambach has had a rough stretch of late. If you recall a few months ago, Wambach had some very dumb thoughts about foreign players representing the USMNT. This weekend, she was arrested and charged with a DUI. And after that news broke, the USMNT’s Alejandro Bedoya tied both incide...