seattle-mariners Page 6 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
More Bad News For The Sad, Sad Mariners
This week briefly looked as if it might be a rare good one for the Mariners. They won four games in a row! They moved out of last place! With the return of James Paxton, only two of their three best pitchers were on the disabled list! But that happiness has proved fleeting....
The Mariners Are A Big Sad Mess
The Seattle Mariners lost 5-1 today and somehow, that counts as an improvement. The Mariners have now lost five straight games and they have scored precisely one run in each game. Before tonight’s loss to the Nationals, they had lost the previous three games by a net score of 34-3 thanks in large pa...
The King's Arm Is Dead
Mariners pitcher Felix Hernandez has had an underwhelming start to the season, and it turned worse Tuesday. Hernandez lasted two innings in Seattle’s 19-9 loss to Detroit, ceding four runs before getting yanked after 48 pitches. Hernandez leads the majors in hits allowed with 39 and currently has a ...
Ichiro Socks First-Pitch Home Run In What Might Be His Final At-Bat In Seattle
Ichiro and the Miami Marlins wrapped up a three-game series up in Seattle this afternoon, losing two of the three games to the Mariners. The last time the Marlins came to Seattle, they played as the “home team” due to a confounding U2-related scheduling conflict at their old ballpark in Miami that f...
James Paxton Is Humiliating People With His Fastball
It’s likely you went into this season without planning on paying too much attention to the Seattle Mariners, but maybe their 28-year-old power lefty, James Paxton, will change that....
Edwin Díaz's Slider Is So, So, So Ridiculous
Edwin Díaz’s ninth inning last night was the sort of performance that seems to stretch the reasonable connotation of striking out the side when correctly described with the technical definition of the term. All three outs came via strikeout, sure; in between those were two runs that nearly squander...
Mariachi Band Greatly Improves Mariners Spring Training
Spring training always has stunts and shenanigans—like indulging a former quarterback’s fantasies so you can sell his shirsey for a couple of months—but the Seattle Mariners set the bar pretty high by hiring a mariachi band to tag along with center fielder Leonys Martin today....
King Felix's Yankees World Series Ring Was A Replica His Son Got As A Ballpark Promo<em></em>
Yesterday we wondered why Felix Hernandez had a 2000 Yankees World Series ring, recovered in a burglary bust in Bellevue, Wash. As it turns out, the reason is pretty funny and cute....
Wait, Why Does Felix Hernandez Have A 2000 Yankees World Series Ring?
Police in Bellevue, Washington held a press conference today to announce that they’d busted a burglary ring that had stolen somewhere near $3 million worth of stuff from 123 homes in the Seattle-Bellevue area. ...
Hot Fucking Stove: Don't Touch The Stove It's Extremely Hot
Good news, friends: The Thanksgiving holiday brought us not just a bounty of meats, side dishes, and familial bonding, but also mildly interesting baseball transactions that could have anywhere from no to some impact on the upcoming season of “America’s pastime.”...
Mariners Catcher Steve Clevenger Suspended Without Pay For Tweets
The Seattle Mariners responded to backup catcher Steve Clevenger’s dogshit dumb tweets about protesters by suspending him without pay for the remaining 10 games of the season. Here is the relevant part of the statement released by general manager Jerry Dipoto:...
Mariners Catcher Barfs Out Some Thoughts About Protestors, Compares Them To Animals
Steve Clevenger is an oft-injured backup catcher for the Seattle Mariners, who is hitting .221 this season in 68 at-bats. This afternoon, he weighed in on the protests sweeping through Charlotte with all the subtlety of an elephant playing the piano....
Adrian Beltre Lovingly Messes With Switch Pitcher Pat Venditte
Ambidextrous relief pitcher Pat Venditte has been in Major League Baseball for about a year. He’s bounced back and forth between the show and the minors, and Venditte made his Mariners debut this evening. After starter Hisashi Iwakuma was chased after three innings, Venditte stepped in and pitched t...
Pair Of Idiots On The Field Evade Security, Escape Into Bleachers, Get Tackled
As eventually doomed runs of Idiots On The Field go, these dudes’ miracle jaunt all the way across the outfield, through stadium security, and into the bleachers was pretty damn spectacular....
What, Like You've Never Taken A Headfirst Dive Into The Yankees' Dugout?
Hey, what are you looking at, man?...
Mariners Fan Fights Stadium Netting, Loses
Hanley Ramirez jerked a big dong this evening, sending a Wade LeBlanc fastball some 455 feet into the Seattle evening. It nestled its way into the netting above the scoreboard in left field, thus beginning this enterprising Ken Griffey Jr. fan’s treasure hunt. ...
Ken Griffey Jr. Ended His Hall Of Fame Speech The Best Way Possible
In case you’ve forgotten, Ken Griffey Jr.’s preference for wearing his cap backward infuriated old white columnists—and managers—of the day. So the manner in which The Kid ended his Hall of Fame acceptance speech today in Cooperstown was simply priceless....
Ken Griffey Jr. Came Very Close To Convincing A-Rod To Jerk Off In A Cup
A new Sports Illustrated update on post-retirement Ken Griffey Jr. has a few fun stories from the Hall of Famer’s life, but the best one involves the time Griffey convinced an 18-year-old Alex Rodriguez that he could get lots of money if he jizzed in a cup....
Idiot On The Field Runs Out In Middle Of Live Play
Idiots On The Field usually conduct their shenanigans during breaks in the action, but this hooligan in Seattle rushed out between two Mariners outfielders attempting to haul in a fly ball in the fifth inning against the Cardinals. Reader Ethan sent some video of the Idiot getting sacked:...
The Mariners Lost In The Dumbest Way
The Seattle Mariners lost their sixth straight game this afternoon to move below .500 and cap off a long slide in which they’ve gone 8-19 and have been swept three times. Today’s loss was the dumbest. Starter Adrian Sampson injured his elbow warming up for the game but the Mariners managed to dinger...