seattle Page 26 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ricardo Lockette Will Retire After Serious Neck Injury
This is one of the reasons athletes should never be begrudged for trying to get as much money as they can while they still can: their lifetime earning power can vaporize in a moment, at any moment. Seahawks wide receiver and special teamer Ricardo Lockette will announce his retirement this afternoon...
Here's Some Baseball Knowledge To Get You Thinking About The Relentless Approach Of Death
Hello, fellow millennial baseball fans, I have come to make you sad....
Nelson Cruz Sent This Pitch To Goddamn Pluto
The Seattle Mariners wrapped up a sweep of the Oakland A’s today in the Bay Area, and the club is now first in the AL West (the A’s are weirdly twice as good on the road than at home this season, perhaps owing to the fact that their stadium is a cavernous wind trap without adequate plumbing.) Seattl...
Seattle's Efforts To Bring Back An NBA Team Just Took A Significant Hit
Seattle was on the cusp of inheriting the Sacramento Kings three years ago, until a last-ditch arena effort in California’s capital kept the team rooted. The city and local billionaire Chris Hansen have been trying to work to bring an NBA team back to the city ever since then, but the Seattle city c...
Nearly Perfect: An Unremarkable November Finals Preview
By November 26, 1995, everybody already knew the 10-1 Chicago Bulls were very good; nobody knew they were the best team in NBA history just yet. Michael Jordan was in his first full season back from retirement, the Bulls had gone down meekly in the playoffs to the young Orlando Magic the season befo...
Korean Announcers Lose Their Shit Over Dae-Ho Lee's 10th-Inning Walk-Off Dinger
The Mariners stopped their five-game skid in the most emphatic way possible: by walking off the winners after a big ole’ dinger in the tenth inning against a division rival. You can watch the official MLB version of Dae-Ho Lee’s home run against the Rangers if you want, but we recommend these Korean...
The Mariners Just Can't Stop Slappin' Dingers
The Mariners opened the season with a rather odd little loss to the Texas Rangers. Since then, however, they have managed to humiliate a presumptive AL playoff team to the tune of 19 runs in their next two games....
Felix Hernandez's Loss Was One Of The Weirdest In Baseball History
Felix Hernandez is one of the best pitchers working today, and until this afternoon, he’d never lost an Opening Day start. Thanks in part to the King’s dominance over the past half-decade, the Mariners had a chance to become the first team since the 19th century to win ten straight openers. But the ...
Richard Sherman Criticizes Roger Goodell's New Rule Proposals, Says He's "Just A Suit"
Richard Sherman has never been shy about expressing his thoughts, and what he says is almost always legitimately interesting, whether it’s on Black Lives Matter, the hypocrisy of Ballghazi, the scam of the NCAA, Roger Goodell’s friendliness with Robert Kraft, or Labor Day....
Russell Wilson: She Said Yes (To Eventually Fucking)
Seahawks quarterback and outspoken non-fucker Russell Wilson is one step closer to fucking. He posted a video showing an ecstatic Ciara reacting to his proposal. Congratulations to the couple that will someday have sex....
Ricardo Lockette Explains How He Could Have Died After Blindside Hit
Seahawks receiver Ricardo Lockette said that he was close to death when Cowboys safety Jeff Heath knocked him out with a blindside hit last November. Last Friday, Lockette—who was still wearing a neck brace—visited Redmond Fire Station 11 and thanked the paramedics who properly treated his injury. H...
Kam Chancellor Tries To Buy A Gym, Gets Cops Called On Him
Seahawks safety Kam Chancellor had a friendly chat with police officers last night, after they were called by gym employees to investigate some men they believed were trying to gain entry to the closed building. But Kam just wanted to buy the place....
Clint Dempsey Bends Long-Range Free Kick Perfectly Into The Top Corner
Clint Dempsey opened the scoring in Tuesday’s CONCACAF Champions League quarterfinal between the Seattle Sounders and Mexico’s Club América with this prodigious free kick:...
China Has Passed MLS As The Place For Old Stars To Cash Out
Depending on which reports you believe, Chinese Super League clubs are in the tank for Oscar, Arda Turan, Marouane Fellaini, Juan Mata, Lionel Messi, Wayne Rooney, and Ronaldo. As the league’s recent hiring spree shows, they have more money than they know what to do with, and when they wave the kind...
Marshawn Lynch Wouldn't Stop Moving
Marshawn Lynch is retiring, and looking at the trajectory of his NFL career, it’s somewhat of a miracle that he made it this far. Before he was chewing Skittles and playing video games with Conan O’Brien, the then-Bills running back was on his way to being another example of a player with immense ta...
Seahawks Defensive End Frank Clark On Cam Newton: "That Boy A Bitch"
Seahawks rookie defensive end Frank Clark, whose team lost to the Panthers in this year’s divisional round, has some thoughts about Cam Newton:...
Report: Marshawn Lynch Plans To Retire
Marshawn Lynch has teased his possible retirement for a few seasons now. After last year, he was reportedly considering retiring, but then he changed his mind and signed a two-year deal. Now, he’s apparently told people he’s retiring, per Adam Schefter....
Russell Wilson Googled "How To Describe A Beautiful Woman" To Find Something Nice To Say About Ciara
Yesterday was Woman Crush Wednesday on Twitter, so Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson decided to offer an encomium to the light and love of his life, Ciara:...
Seahawks Fans Are Fighting A Petition War
Fans of the Seattle Seahawks have gained a reputation as not dealing well with losing, which is weird, because they had all of recorded human history up until about 2003 to get good at it. They’ve also gained a reputation as the NFL fanbase most likely to start a pointless petition when things don’t...