seattle Page 59 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jack Wilson, Ian Snell Released From Pirate Jail
Pittsburgh gives Seattle their shortstop and a nervous nellie pitcher in exchange for a vanload of prospects and an autographed picture of Sasquatch. [MLB.com]...
Police A Little Pissed At Newest Mariner
Seattle learns after trading for Dan Cortes that the top pitching prospect was busted earlier this month for public urination. He'll fit right in. [Seattle PI]...
Minor Leaguer Pushes Hit Streak To 45 Games
Mariners prospect Jamie McOwen has hit safely in 45-straight games, which pretty much means he's better than Pete Rose. Of course, that also means he's not as good as legendary sluggers Otto Pahlman and Harry Chozen, but them's the breaks....
Russell Branyan's Power Loogie Deserves A Star
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Hit Strip Club, Win Lap Dance
It's a good thing the Seattle Post-Intelligencer didn't completely shutter its operations when it stopped the presses, or else there would be only one story about the construction of a strip club by Safeco Field. And who said newspapers weren't egalitarian?...
Griffey Tickles Ichiro's Fancy, Armpits
Today, the Tacoma News Tribune takes a long look at the blossoming friendship between Ichiro and Ken Griffey Jr. Among the many touching revelations: Griffey will tickle Ichiro until he calls out what one might describe as a safe word....
Yankee Fans Should Relocate To Safeco Field
If you want to watch the Mariners play the Yankees up close, it's cheaper to fly to Seattle and spend an entire weekend, then buy two front-row seats at Yankee Stadium. [Kottke]...
I See A Green Hat And I Want It Painted Black
Aaron Curry, padded in enough leather to coat an entire herd of skinless cattle, finally ads something non-black to his outfit. Neon green. He'll mesh well with the Seahawks defense....
The Seattle Sounders Have Their First Sexual Assault Investigation
Here's an ad that was in the Seattle Times last month — and on the main page of its web site — featuring Seattle Sounders FC star forward Fredy Montero. Talk about unfortunate ad placement....
I Think We Can All Agree That The FAKE Seahawks' New Jerseys Are Hideous (With Update)
The new neon green Seahawks alternate jersey, shown here assaulting our senses so completely, turns out to be a joke, perpetrated by those rascals at Uniwatch Blog....
Will James Donaldson Become America's Tallest Mayor?
Next to the Space Needle he's the city's tallest landmark, so why not James Donaldson for mayor of Seattle? And he says that his first order of business will be ... bringing back the SuperSonics....
Seattle Finally Gets Something To Cheer For
The brand-new Seattle Sounders won the first game of their first season to kick off the year for Major League Soccer. They will be relocating to Austin in June. [Seattle Times; pic via]...
Peace Schmeace, I'm Hungry
Seattle Sounders FC had planned to release doves over Qwest Field as part of their opening night MLS festivities on Thursday. Until hawks began eating them during a dry run. [Hot Dog And Friends]...
Seattle And The Mariners: It's True Love (For Now)
Mariners fans line up in the rain for tickets to opening day, which sell out in 55 minutes. It's all for you, Mariner Moose. [King 5]...
Erik Bedard Listed As Out (Sore Butt)
A sore tushy apparently kept Erik Bedard on ... well, not on the bench, but he did miss his start today. [Baltimore Sun]...
T.J. Houshmandzadeh Headed To Seattle
The man in charge of stitching the last names on the back of Seahawk jerseys is shaking his fist and seriously pissed. [National Football Post]...
Seattle Radio Station Wondering If Griffey's Fellatio Offer Still Stands
By all accounts, Ken Griffey Jr.'s return to Seattle has everyone in that rain-dampened vicinity in perpetual euphoria. But then we're reminded that not everyone there loved Junior the first time around....
Griffey Picks Seattle Over Atlanta ... Hard to Picture, I Know
Ken Griffey Jr. returns to the cold, wet embrace of the Emerald City, signing one-year deal reported to be for at least $2 million, plus incentives, according to AP. [NBCSports]...
The Prodigal Son Returns (Pending Physical)
Ken Griffey Jr.'s return to the Seattle Mariners reportedly only days away. I think his first question will be: "Hey, where's the Kingdome?" [Seattle Mariners Official Site]...
ONE FOOT DOWN
He only had one foot down! One foot! I'll get over this eventually. [The Will Leitch Experience]...