seattle Page 59 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
NFL Highlight Of The Week: Frank Gore's 80-Yard Gallop
Because the NFL has such a stingy rebroadcast policy, we've decided to recreate the week's best highlight using a white gerbil, a tree frog and actual game audio. Suspend disbelief....
No Autographs, Please. Mr. Hellraiser Has A Plane To Catch
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Mariners Skipper Takes Job Title Seriously
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Ken Griffey Jr. Helps Welcome Adrian Beltre Back After Testicle Mishap
"When Beltre came up for his first at-bat, the theme for Tchaikovsky's "The Nutcracker" was played, a gesture from Ken Griffey Jr., whose MRI on his knee showed no structural damage." [SeattlePI]...
Why Your Team Sucks: Seattle Seahawks
Some people, Like Ufford, are fans of the Seattle Seahawks. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Seattle Seahawks. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group…...
Why Your Stadium Sucks: Safeco Field
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The Seattle Mariners' Safeco Field....
It Might Be Time For ESPN To Update Its Sidebar
The schedule is out, so it's time to gear up for the NBA season ... in 2006, apparently. Hey ESPN, would you like us to hold Seattle down while you twist its nipple and take its lunch money? [ESPN]...
Jack Wilson, Ian Snell Released From Pirate Jail
Pittsburgh gives Seattle their shortstop and a nervous nellie pitcher in exchange for a vanload of prospects and an autographed picture of Sasquatch. [MLB.com]...
Police A Little Pissed At Newest Mariner
Seattle learns after trading for Dan Cortes that the top pitching prospect was busted earlier this month for public urination. He'll fit right in. [Seattle PI]...
Minor Leaguer Pushes Hit Streak To 45 Games
Mariners prospect Jamie McOwen has hit safely in 45-straight games, which pretty much means he's better than Pete Rose. Of course, that also means he's not as good as legendary sluggers Otto Pahlman and Harry Chozen, but them's the breaks....
Russell Branyan's Power Loogie Deserves A Star
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Hit Strip Club, Win Lap Dance
It's a good thing the Seattle Post-Intelligencer didn't completely shutter its operations when it stopped the presses, or else there would be only one story about the construction of a strip club by Safeco Field. And who said newspapers weren't egalitarian?...
Griffey Tickles Ichiro's Fancy, Armpits
Today, the Tacoma News Tribune takes a long look at the blossoming friendship between Ichiro and Ken Griffey Jr. Among the many touching revelations: Griffey will tickle Ichiro until he calls out what one might describe as a safe word....
Yankee Fans Should Relocate To Safeco Field
If you want to watch the Mariners play the Yankees up close, it's cheaper to fly to Seattle and spend an entire weekend, then buy two front-row seats at Yankee Stadium. [Kottke]...
I See A Green Hat And I Want It Painted Black
Aaron Curry, padded in enough leather to coat an entire herd of skinless cattle, finally ads something non-black to his outfit. Neon green. He'll mesh well with the Seahawks defense....
The Seattle Sounders Have Their First Sexual Assault Investigation
Here's an ad that was in the Seattle Times last month — and on the main page of its web site — featuring Seattle Sounders FC star forward Fredy Montero. Talk about unfortunate ad placement....
I Think We Can All Agree That The FAKE Seahawks' New Jerseys Are Hideous (With Update)
The new neon green Seahawks alternate jersey, shown here assaulting our senses so completely, turns out to be a joke, perpetrated by those rascals at Uniwatch Blog....
Will James Donaldson Become America's Tallest Mayor?
Next to the Space Needle he's the city's tallest landmark, so why not James Donaldson for mayor of Seattle? And he says that his first order of business will be ... bringing back the SuperSonics....
Seattle Finally Gets Something To Cheer For
The brand-new Seattle Sounders won the first game of their first season to kick off the year for Major League Soccer. They will be relocating to Austin in June. [Seattle Times; pic via]...