seattle Page 61 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Seattle Sonics Could Not Be Saved
Sonics Owner Clay Bennett is a jowly-faced bastard. I'm doing him a favor by calling him that because that’ s probably one of the kinder things he'll be called from now on by heartbroken Seattle residents, who after two years of thinking their beloved 41-year-old franchise would stick around if they...
Behold The Awesome Offensive Power Of American League Pitchers
Ha! Take that Hank Steinbrenner, you big dolt. Pitchers shouldn't hit? Felix Hernandez hit the first grand slam by an American League pitcher in 37 years, leading the Mariners over the Mets 5-2 on Monday night. Hernandez did get hurt; but not running the bases, as Steinbrenner imagines in his sweaty...
Sinking Mariners Jettison GM, Yet Richie Sexson Continues To Have A Job
Baseball's biggest upset so far this season? How Mariners manager John McLaren outlasted Mets manager Willie Randolph. Of course the Mariners did fire general manager Bill Bavasi on Monday, replacing him with associate GM Lee Pelekoudas, who will serve on an interim basis. Meanwhile, Seattle is 22 ...
Call The Kids, It's Another Profanity-Laced Tirade!
Ah, to return to the halcyon days of March 31, when the Mariners were 1-0 and all was right with the world. But today they're 18 games below .500, having lost four straight and 12 of their past 15. The latest, a 4-3 5-4 loss to the Angels, prompted manager John McLaren to spew some choice profanitie...
Safeco Not A Welcoming Place For Gay Couples Brazen Enough To Show Affection
According to one unhappy Mariners fan, the security guards at Safeco Field almost got her tossed her out of a Mariners game last week because she was "making out" with her girlfriend in the stands....
Sonics Ownership Seems To Be Unable To Delete Old E-Mails
Any mail client has it. Trash can. Deleted items. They all call it something different, but my God, it's right there. A half-terrabyte of data doesn't mean you save every freakin' Twitter message that comes your way. The Seattle Supersonics management might have gotten away with merely being hated i...
Ken Griffey Jr. Is Quite The Rapscallion
It has been pleasant to watch Ken Griffey Jr., who played with such joy as a youth before becoming surly in his mid-career, rediscover the mirth, the smile, that made us all adore him. As his time has wound down, he has loosened up and enjoyed himself, tossing jockstraps to fans and, yesterday, fi...
The Placement Of That Pitch Has Vexed Me, Sir. Now We Shall Wrestle
It's not really a classic baseball brawl until a tubby Don Zimmer is thrown to the turf, but this'll do. It happened on Thursday at Safeco Field: After the Rangers' Kason Gabbard tossed a fourth-inning delivery at the Mariners' Richie Sexson at face level, Sexson charged the mound and clocked Gabba...
Lou Piniella's Balls Are Not Taking Questions Tonight
Being a sports reporter is, at times, an absolutely horrible job. Sure you get to watch games, travel and interact with athletes, but there is a horrendous downside. (Which is pretty much everything else.) And this is never more disturbingly clear than when a reporter has their first (or 50th) awful...
Goodbye, Shaun Alexander
Seahawks running back Shaun Alexander has joined the growing segment of unemployed rich guys. It's amazing that a couple of years ago, he was a top five fantasy pick just and a league MVP. But the foot, man, the foot is not well. And some of the Seattle faithful are happy he's gone. Like porny-named...
Clay Bennett Is Happy To Screw Oklahoma Too
For some reason, we imagined Oklahoma City welcoming Clay Bennett and the Sonics with arms extended, lying prostrate, screaming "thank you" to the heavens. Anytime someone does something to a city as horrible as what Bennett has done to Seattle, there has to be someone who benefits, right? Other tha...
The Pain Of The Sonics Lingers
As Starbucks chief Howard Schultz says he's considering suing to get the team back, we all still hold out faint, dim hope that the Sonics can stay around. (You can always sign one of the million petitions. But we'd like to focus more on the video above; anytime we ever see a video with Johnny Cash's...
Shocking Newsflash: Clay Bennett Is A Liar
Since they bought the Seattle Sonics, Clay Bennett and company have claimed that they did not have the initial intention to move the team to Oklahoma City. (They even told David Stern as much.) No one has ever believed them, and now there's proof....
'Hawks Fan Hocks Bitter Loogie
Southerners and the Civil War. That's perhaps the one group of people more single-mindedly embittered by an event than Seahawks fans and Super Bowl XL. "How dare those refs flag Darrell Jackson for pushing off Chris Hope directly in front of an official!?" "Calling Sean Locklear for a clear holding ...
Your AL West "Preview"
Well, this is kind of cheating, considering the Oakland A's already played this morning, and lost, but we hope that having 1/162 of the season over already won't make you distrust our predictions any more than you already do....
Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well
In about half an hour, the Mariners will play an exhibition game against the Milwaukee Brewers. (Man, interleague exhibition games were so much more novel before, you know, actual interleague play.) This is not a particularly compelling game, but it is noteworthy for one oddity: Ichiro Suzuki will t...
This Is What It Sounds Like When A Franchise Dies
We missed Bill Simmons' impassioned work for Sonics fans while we were on vacation, but it's really pretty excellent stuff, and exactly what a national sports columnist should be doing with his platform. Not that anyone will notice, or do anything, or care....
Baseball Season Preview: Seattle Mariners
For the third consecutive season, we are proud to introduce the Deadspin Baseball Season Previews. Yes, baseball is awfully close now; it's spring training, after all....