Toronto FC tied Atlanta United 2-2 yesterday to seal up MLS’s Eastern Conference with a record-breaking 69 points. The best highlight of the game came in the second half, when Jozy Altidore (lol) finished past Bard Guzan (lol) and got a beer tossed in his direction by an Atlanta fan. Ever the kind helper, Sebastian…
The MLS players’ union, as it does every year, released the salaries for all of its current players today. Former Real Madrid legend and Orlando City SC midfielder Kaka once again topped the list for highest paid players with $7.17 million in guaranteed compensation. Just behind him is Toronto FC’s Italian star…
Sebastian Giovinco is far and away the best player in MLS, a bullshit soccer league more invested in protecting its owners from the forces of competition than in producing top-level competition on the pitch. That Giovinco is such a beast in this league makes him an at least plausible candidate for representing the…
Antonio Conte, manager of the Italian national team, has the distinct misfortune of heading into a major international tournament with the worst crop of Italian players in recent memory. So unimpressive is the 30-man preliminary roster he just announced, the bulk of which will make up the squad he takes to France for…
Last night, Sebastian Giovinco weaved through the heart of the entire defense of the New York Red Bulls, hoodwinked another group of would-be markers with an absurdly calm fake shot with his stronger right foot, then spanked a perfect ball with his left that flew all the way across goal and into the far side of the…
Sebastian Giovinco scored a pair of goals and assisted another today as Toronto FC beat the Colorado Rapids 3-1. Both scores were fairly simple for Giovinco, on account of the massive gaps defenders left him, but he got himself to the right spot with ease each time. He continues to be at the center of everything…
Once you've tried to wrap your head around the nebulous machinations that resulted in Toronto FC's new star-studded roster, you're left wondering how exactly the team convinced certain players to join the league. In the case of Sebastian Giovinco, the pitch was simple: "How would you like to be the highest-paid…
Not that this is any real secret, but it deserves to be said as often as possible: MLS is rigged. The league jointly owns each individual team, centrally controls all major decisions, and has a rule book as regularly erased and written over as a chalk board. With yesterday's reported news that Juventus forward…
