sec Page 27 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's Come To This: Lenny Dykstra And Jose Canseco Will Fight A Celebrity Boxing Match
Just when you think Lenny Dykstra has finally drowned in life's big fat puddle of chew spit, he swims to the surface long enough to cough up just a little more of what's left of his dignity....
Mizzou Will Join The SEC On Monday, According To SEC's Premature, Accidental Announcement
Missouri became will become the 14th member of the Southeastern Conference (SEC), according to an announcement posted from the future on the conference's website last night that was almost immediately removed....
The Horse-Collar Rule Is Horseshit
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
Fantasy Sports Are Going To Take Over The World, According To Fancy Infographic
Fantasy sports now account for "$800 million, or about 18%, of the $4.5 billion sports industry," and the "estimated 32 million of North Americans ages 12 and older" who participate are essentially subsidizing sportswriting! So, uh, please—keep doing what you're doing. [Co.Design]...
Watch Bemused Florida Coach Will Muschamp Ask An Analogically Clumsy Reporter "What's A Padawan?"
In journalism school, as far as I know, they don't teach you to begin your SEC press conference questions with "Excuse the Star Wars reference, but..." You're supposed to inquire along the lines of "How do you stop that guy, coach," and "Would you like to score more points in the second half?" Ala...
Texas A&M Fans Provoke Baylor With Waco Billboard: "Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's Conference Deal"
Just when we think we've gone and boiled Texas football down to its essence, the Texans go and out-Texan themselves....
Boise State Calls Mississippi State's Misspelling And Raises Em A Misplaced Apostrophe
Your morning roundup for Sept. 17, a day we pour one out for the late Jeffrey Jarrett. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Shaq Listed "Binnochulars" Under "Special Skills" In His Miami Police Application
The Miami New Times has taken on the admirable pursuit of making every single word that Shaquille O'Neal has ever typed or written available to the public. Through their work, we'd previously learned of Shaq's infidelity, his infidelity, and also his infidelity....
Baylor Is The Big Swinging Bear Dick Of Texas Football
Has there been a more triumphant, petty, relevant week for Baylor football? It merely started with their upset of TCU, and has continued with the Bears positioning themselves as a lone bulwark against the partitioning of college football into superconferences....
Washington Man, Stung By Bee, Decides To Pour Gasoline All Over The Beehive And Blow It Up
Those damned bees. They sting you, and perhaps you get particularly swollen, and somewhat irritated, and then your summer day is ruined and you've got a moderate-sized welt on your arm....
Nick Saban Was A Dick To Will Muschamp's Poor Mother
With college football—nay, SEC football— arriving this weekend, and without great expectations for the Gators, it's time for the Palm Beach Post to stoke our football interest by apprising us of blood feuds....
A Moth Tried To Lay Its Eggs In Matt Holliday's Brain
I think that's what moths do. I'm not a damned lepidopterist....
For Trivia-Contest Purposes, It's Best To Remember Seattle Isn't In California
During last night's Syracuse Chiefs 5-2 victory over the Gwinnett Braves, two fans vied to win a foam finger in a "Smarter Than An Intern" trivia contest. The secret question (paraphrased): Name the 13 professional sports franchises in California. With the eighth pick, one competitor chose the Sea...
When American Legion Baseball Players Attack
The worst part of this brawl video between American Legion teams from Cherryville, NC and Douglasville, Ga.? You can see the Cherryville run scorer say something to the Douglasville catcher — presumably something like "Cherryville rules!" — but you can't really see the ball the catcher threw at th...
"Goodnight And Good Luck": Kevin-Costner-Owned Minor League Team's Announcer Quits On Air
Last week we brought you the peculiar odyssey of the Lake County Fielders, a minor league baseball club in Zion, Ill., owned in part by Kevin Costner. The Fielders' manager — former Blue Jays skipper Tim Johnson — resigned over team-wide pay disputes, many of its players refused to play, and the o...
Minor League Involving Kevin Costner, Jose Canseco, and Pete LaCock Devolves Into Extreme Chaos
One wishes there were a way to succinctly explain what the hell went on this weekend in the North American Baseball League. There isn't, but "mop-up catcher Joey Gathright" gets us pretty close to explaining the weird story of the NABL's Lake County (Ill.) Fielders, owned in part by Kevin Costner....
If You Want To Call Jose Canseco, His Number Is 818-903-6598
So says the Miami New Times, anyway. Do it, if you have the patience!...
Jose Canseco Knows What He Wants And Is Not Afraid To Ask The World For It
Day Two of the latest Jose Canseco sad-clown meltdown saw him preaching from the mountaintop ("Be careful with woman who show off there tits and ass and think that's a career"), real-talking ("I will never forget or forgive what u said to me leila ur evil"), serving as the phone company's Green Pag...
In His Latest Meltdown, Jose Canseco Decided To Publicize His Girlfriend's Phone Number, Drug Of Choice
What started with Jose Canseco's Thursday announcement that "I am asking leila shennib to marry me .will you marry me" has somehow gone off the rails. Imagine that....
Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To The Ballplayer's Twilight
Every Friday, SportsFeat picks a few great weekend reads for Deadspin. In honor of Derek Jeter and his labored quest for 3,000 hits, here are well-told stories of ballplayers just before, in the years after, or at the exact moment they retired....