sec Page 38 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

That's One Way To Sell A Condo
We don't know Alabama well enough to understand the real estate market, but it's little surprise that one of the main selling points in Tuscaloosa is proximity to Bryant-Denny Stadium, home of the Crimson Tide. And it turns out that a condominium company is using a peculiar strategy to sell their ho...

Baseball Players Are Athletes
Seriously, what happened to Antonio Alfonseca? He was always big, but ... wow. We suppose you can eat faster when you have six fingers....

NBA Blogdome: Whoa, Nellie!
What they're saying in the blogs about Golden State's first-round series win over the Mavericks ......

Misguided Sports Sartorial Decisions
Just Call Me Juice is doing a clever series in which they ask readers to tell the stories of their most embarrassing, rueful jersey purchases. Unsilent Majority keeps the series going with his gruesome tale of buying a Steve Spurrier Redskins jersey (with the number he wore as a player), though we d...

Jose Canseco Just Can't Catch A Break In This Business
We're trying to imagine something more sad than a once-proud athlete attempting to feed his ravenous need for competition by going against Tucker Carlson on a televised dancing show, and we think we've found it: Begging to be on "Dancing With The Stars" and being refused....

Fever Pitch ... Throughout History
The Sporting News has a good piece about the evolution of pitching, which we read with interest until seeing the dreaded word "gyroball," which tends to provoke in us the same reaction as the word "disco." But until then there are some fun tidbits, such as the fact that until 1881, the distance from...

Britney Spears And Minor League Hockey; A Match Made In Heaven
We really don't know how to say this so we're just going to say it: The Syracuse Crunch of the American Hockey League is offering any woman who shaves her head a free ticket to their game on Saturday against the Manitoba Moose. (Terrorists throw down their weapons in disgust, give up)....

But When You Get Down To It, Does Michael Irvin Make Any More Sense?
Only a little more than a year to go before the 2008 Summer Olympics, which should just give the Chinese government enough time to run Beijing through spell check....

New ABA Coach Has Cleanest Rain Gutters In His Neighborhood
We love the Dodge City Legends' motion offense; the one in which their center sets picks at the top of the key. Because it's important to keep the tallest player in the history of organized basketball as far away from the basket as you can at all times. You've probably heard of Sun Ming Ming, a nati...

Finally, Rik Smits And Michael Irvin Come Together
Aside from a cocaine-infused party at a French-Canadian brothel, I can't think of many ventures that could bring together the likes of Michael Irvin, Jose Canseco, Kordell Stewart, Darryl Strawberry and Claude Lemieux. Those four are part of the cast for the new season of Pros vs. Joes on SpikeTV....

Actually, HERE'S Your Next Inspiring Real Life Story
We don't mean to take the piss out of AJ Daulerio's work earlier today, but it turns out that we already know what the next real-life baseball story will be dramatized on the big screen: It's Jose Canseco's!...

Google Video, Jose Canseco And You
We're not sure how we'd react if attacked by a leopard; probably curl up like an armadillo and roll toward the nearest large body of water. But we would hope that it would be a manly, dignified roll. We wouldn't want to go out squealing like a Girl Scout, as you can hear in this video. The reason we...

Canseco Pitching Debut Goes As You Probably Imagined It Would
There are many forms of self delusion. There's Kip from Napoleon Dynamite, who was "training to be a cage fighter." Then there's Jose Canseco, who beaned four batters, walked five and gave up a home run over 4 1/3 innings in his pitching debut with the Long Beach Armada on Wednesday, inspiring thi...

Four Tiny Tidbits On: The Southeastern Conference
We must confess that we can't wait each year for the crunch of shoulder pads; for cleats churning up chunks of turf, and red-faced coaches screaming from the sidelines. But enough about lacrosse. College football season is upon us, and to celebrate, we're going to get back into tiny tidbit mode an...

Jose Canseco Gets Familiar With Chico Police
You can take Jose Canseco out of the big leagues, but you can't take the big league out of Jose Canseco. Just hours after his victory in the Golden Baseball League's home run derby, Jose Canseco was involved in some kind of an incident with a woman outside of an Oxford Suites hotel room. No one wa...

Canseco To Unveil His Pitching Wizardry Tonight
Because Jose Canseco is a man who wants to be taken seriously ... because he is a man with pride ... because he once strode with the giants of major league baseball ... he will now take the next logical step in the twilight of his once-great career. He will pitch in the Golden Baseball League All-...

Spend Tonight With The Cansecos
Anyone who might be hanging around the Pittsburgh area over the next few days is encouraged to hit the party to end all parties: The All-Star Ball With The Cansecos!...

Cultural Oddsmaker: Yeah, Call it a Comeback
A.J. Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Send him all kinds of fan mail....

The Glory That Is Jose
OK, we had to dig back into this Jose Canseco asking for a trade....

If You Can Trust Anyone, You Can Trust Jose Canseco
Yesterday, Major League Baseball released a Strongly Worded Statement, making it clear that former Madonna statue Jose Canseco's claims — that Bud Selig and Co. could cover up a positive steroid test if the player (namely, Roger Clemens) were popular enough — "complete nonsense." It is the next in...