“We were fucking so hard and I head-butted her in the head.”

Have you heard? Chess fucks. And chess wants you all to know that it fucks, so it has graciously made it very clear in the logo for the upcoming 2018 World Chess Championship.

This piece originally appeared in the April 1995 issue of GQ. It is reprinted here with permission.

Liverpool are currently playing the first leg of a Champions League playoff round, and things got unexpectedly sexy during manager Jürgen Klopp’s pregame press conference.

Sport Clube Gaucho are a Brazilian third-division side who haven’t been relevant since they briefly made the first division in the 1980s. That changed, though, when four players had their contracts rescinded after a video showing one of them jerking off two of his teammates in the club showers leaked. The three…

Recently, I got into an argument with a series of colleagues surrounding the very simple question: If vampires were real, would you have sex with one?

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re covering eating aliens, identity crises, bandwagon fans, and more. 

Mike Cation heard a moan, and figured it was just two people in the stands talking loudly. The tennis announcer, working the USTA Pro Circuit’s Sarasota Open on Tuesday, looked at the crowd and saw everyone looking around. Then it became clear: This wasn’t two people talking. This was two people fucking.

A tennis match today between Frances Tiafoe and Mitchell Krueger at the Sarasota Open was temporarily interrupted by the sounds of some fucking.

Here is a deeply weird thing:

At 6:32 p.m. EDT, Deadspin received a tip from reader Brad, subject line “I like turtles.” He promised a video of his aunt’s turtles, and boy did he deliver.

Though Americans may have our political differences, we can all agree that children should not be subjected to grotesque displays of nudism and sexual organs. Correction: we cannot all agree on this, judging by the latest uproar found on the internet.

If you were super curious about how Tigers pitcher Justin Verlander’s job affects his sex life, well, now you have answers.

Deadspin is a liberal site (some might say too liberal), and to that end we encourage you to explore your sexuality. A great way to do that safely and limitlessly is online. Of course you already knew that. As soon as there was an online, people just like you and me were horny on it.

Pep Guardiola is notoriously exacting. The Manchester City manager used to regulate which cars his players were allowed to drive while he was coaching at Barcelona, so it’s no surprise then that Guardiola has takes on when he wants his players to do it (sex).

Donald Trump claiming that stardom affords him the right to “Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything,” is certainly the wildest and lewdest thing caught on tape in a video published by the Washington Post this afternoon.

Former Ghana international-turned-manager, Malik Jabir, is not happy with the state of Ghanaian soccer. To his mind, the players are not realizing their potential though a lack of commitment to the game. And he thinks he knows why, too: players are too tempted by all the sexy Ghanaian women and wind up fucking all…