shut-up-whitey Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tweet Your Whitest Thought About The Anniversary Of MLK's Speech
Leave it in the discussion below. Go nuts. It still won't measure up to this morning's (since deleted) offering from the Golf Channel....

People Were Angry About ESPN's Bilingual Interviews Of Cuban Players
It's growing increasingly predictable that whenever the Spanish language appears on ESPN, angry responses are sure to come from viewers. That happened again tonight, when Pedro Gomez conducted bilingual interviews with Aroldis Chapman and Yoenis Céspedes and the Worldwide Leader received this kind o...

ESPN Announcer On Japanese Fan: “I Need Some Rice, I Need Some Sushi”
I'm thinking Michele Smith of ESPN is going to regret this "joke" about that Japanese fan during last night's World Cup of Softball gold medal game....

Jets Lineman's Palestinian Heritage Is A Dog Whistle For Bigots
New York Jets fifth-round draft pick Oday Aboushi, the 22-year-old offensive lineman from the University of Virginia, is a physical freak. He's 6-foot-6 and weighs over 300 pounds, which is one of the main reasons why he's in the NFL. He's also a Palestinian Muslim, which is why the worst of us—th...

Fox Sports Pundit To Fan: “Speak English, I Don't Speak Ghetto”
As previously noted here, Fox Sports pundit/middling professional fighter Chael Sonnen is an asshole who does all sorts of things that one has a hard time imagining, say, fellow Fox Sports pundits Terry Bradshaw or Tim McCarver getting away with. There even seems to be a pattern to these things! He...

Redskins' Indian-Chief Defender: Not A Chief, Probably Not Indian
Lately, the Washington Redskins are having a harder time defending the team's name than the rest of the NFC East had defending the read-option last season. One of the more entertaining parts of Redskins owner Dan Snyder's effort has been his ongoing Indians-love-"Redskins" campaign, whereby the team...

Country Club Takes Potential Dress Code Modification Very Seriously
A few months ago, the board of governors of the Chester Valley Golf Club considered widening the scope of the club's dress code to include denim. But what kind of ramifications would such a radical change bring? Would the club be plunged into chaos? Perhaps! Such questions left the board of governor...


It Took A While, But Michigan Decides That Fried Chicken Jokes Are Bad
On May 24, radio host and University of Michigan football announcer Frank Beckmann decided to take to The Detroit News to weigh in on Sergio Garcia's "fried chicken" comments about Tiger Woods. This didn't prove wise, because Beckmann came off as dumb, insensitive, and/or racist, which are generally...

Sergio Garcia Makes Tiger Woods "Fried Chicken" Joke, Apologizes
For over a week now, we've had to talk about this weak golf "feud" between Sergio Garcia and Tiger Woods which started in 1999 and got heated, or at least slightly warm, a week and a half ago. Garcia hit a terrible shot on a par-5 second hole at The Players Championship, and blamed Woods for the mis...

Macklemore Has Beef With The Oklahoma City Thunder
Oh I'm sorry, do you not know who Macklemore is? Just try to remember the last time you saw an inordinate amount of white people dancing to a sax-heavy rap song while periodically popping their collars and/or brushing their shoulders off. That was a Macklemore song you were listening to....

ESPN Headline: "Poll: Majority OK with 'Redskins'"
Uh, that's the point, guys. The AP story also contains this quote:...

Chael Sonnen, The UFC's Skip Bayless, Race-Baits His Way To The Top
Chael Sonnen is a well-known asshole, less a person than the remnant of a figure crossed out of a bad novel's first draft for being too obviously representative. At 36, he's a convicted money launderer, state-chastised steroid user, failed Republican candidate for the Oregon House of Representative...

This Footage Of White Dudes Playing Basketball In 1932 Is A Thing Of Beauty
Feast your eyes on the Original Celtics and their mastery of the fundamentals of basketball. Watch in awe as Davey Banks demonstrates a proper set shot. Try to keep your jaw from hitting the floor as Joe Lapchick (who was awesome, by the way) uncorks a vicious rejection. Ready a fist pump for the m...

How Marshall Henderson Gets Away With Being Marshall Henderson
On Sunday night, we said goodbye to Ole Miss guard Marshall Henderson, college basketball's most exciting troll, a sort of human "u mad bro?" who did everything to antagonize his opponents short of popping motorcycle wheelies at halfcourt with their girlfriends riding pillion. He and the 12th-seeded...

The Golf Boys Have Returned To Rap Horribly At You
It was almost two years ago that the Golf Boys—a group consisting of PGA pros Bubba Watson, Hunter Mahan, Ben Crane, and Rickie Fowler—released "Oh Oh Oh" onto the world. Their follow up, cleverly titled "2.Oh," sees the Golf Boys taking a huge leap forward in production value while bringing the w...

Red Alert: Jim Nantz Compromised, Hacked E-Mails Contain The Whitest Sentence On Record
When a hacker found his way into our 41st and 43rd presidents' personal e-mail accounts, exposing records of correspondence among the former leaders of the free world as well as George W. Bush's haunting paintings of himself bathing, we all had a good laugh. Unfortunately, the hack had some collater...

Boxing's Great White Hope Problem; Or, Why The Fuck Was Mike Lee In A Super Bowl Commercial?
During last night's Super Bowl, one professional boxer appeared in a commercial. It was not Floyd Mayweather, and it was not Manny Pacquiao, though they are the two highest-earning athletes in all of sports. It was not any champion of any weight division at all. It was Mike Lee, a mediocre light hea...

Can Anyone Think Of Another Reason Sloane Stephens Is Considered Serena Williams's "Protégé"?
This evening, Serena Williams plays 19-year-old American phenom Sloane Stephens in the quarterfinals of the Australian Open. The two played for the first time just three weeks ago in Brisbane, when No. 3 Williams cruised past No. 25 Stephens, 6-4, 6-3. But tonight's match has something of a differen...

Inauguration Day In Post-Racial America: George Stephanopoulos Thinks Bill Russell Looks Like Morgan Freeman
Never mind that Morgan Freeman looks nothing like the 6-foot-10 NBA Hall of Famer: The Celtics cap with Russell's number on it apparently wasn't enough of a clue for Stephanopoulos, either. With a nudge from David Remnick, Stephanopoulos—a Massachusetts native—quickly corrected himself. But not bef...