shut-up Page 6 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
High School Students In New England Face Suspension From Team Activity For Racist Joel Ward Tweets
After Joel Ward of the Washington Capitals eliminated the Boston Bruins from the Stanley Cup Playoffs, we showed you the racist underbelly of Twitter as users strained to find new and interesting ways to insult a black man. Not only were those users exposed as the knuckle dragging neanderthals they ...
Phil Mushnick Wrote Something Racist In The <em>New York Post</em>
Here's OG troll Phil Mushnick in today's New York Post, shaking his cane at the scary negroes:...
"I'd Rather Drink Methamphetamine," And Other Complaints About Soccer Being On ESPN
City's thrilling 1-0 win over Man United in today's Manchester Derby drew acclaim as a groundbreaking moment in broadcasting; the first-ever Premier League weekday game to air on ESPN (as opposed to ESPN2) earned on-air hype and plenty of attention on the Worldwide Leader's website. ...
Here's How Racists On Twitter Reacted to Joel Ward's Series-Winning Goal Against Boston
Joel Ward is a light-scoring winger for the Capitals, who was in the right place and the right time to put home the overtime series-winner to send Washington past Boston in game 7. Completely unrelated, for most of us, is that Ward's parents were Barbadian immigrants to Toronto. So there were a good...
Go Away Now, Pat Knight, You Loser, Bully, And Pathetic Rage-Case
Who are you going to yell at today, Pat Knight? Who is going to get humiliated in public now that your Lamar basketball team got destroyed in the NCAA play-in game last night?...
There Will Be No More Kegs Or Student U-Hauls At Yale Athletic Events
After one woman was run over at the Harvard-Yale tailgate in November, Yale announced today that they've banned kegs and student-driven trucks from the tailgate, which will now end at kickoff. Guess that means more Ivy League football for all?...
Trinity's Obnoxious 13-Year Squash Winning Streak Is Finally Over, Thanks To Obnoxious Yalies
The longest and most annoying win streak in the history of college sports is finally over. The Yale men's squash team defeated Trinity College 5-4 last night, ending the team's 13-year, 252-match undefeated streak that will be remembered for reminding us, approximately once a year, that squash is ...
A Day At Harvard-Yale And Its Tragic Tailgate
NEW HAVEN, Conn.—I could tell you about dropping by the Yale crew alumni tailgate on Saturday, and taking a shot of Jim Beam with a slice of prosciutto, but that's not the reason the Game's 2011 tailgate will forever be the Tailgate. We'll now call it the Tailgate because three women there got run o...
Duke Basketball Made More Insufferable With Auto-Tuned "Duke Worldwide" Music Video
Midnight Madness took place last weekend. Lots of people do insufferable things during Midnight Madness, and increasingly, they do those insufferable things on camera. This is no longer limited to a drunk sorority girl's iPhone filming from the upper deck, muffled by screams and excited shaking ha...
In Michigan, The Grandmas Shotgun Beers Better Than You
Who says you can never relive the glory days? Who says you can't do it at age 85, in a parking lot, wearing a pair of jorts and a Michigan Wolverines windbreaker as you inhale the contents of a Keystone Light Michelob Ultra in just under ten seconds? This is what dreams (and Cirrhosis) are made of...
Maryland Athletics Requests That Students Refrain From Yelling "Fuck You" At 11-Year-Olds During Football Games
A few tipsters have passed along the mass email that Maryland's Athletic Director, Kevin Anderson, sent out to the entire student body some of the university's students yesterday. In it, Anderson requests that Maryland students refrain from "aggressive and offensive behavior," such as confronting 11...
Look At This Fucking Hoopster: Libyan Rebel Edition
This young man is Chris Jeon. He is a 21-year-old UCLA math major and he recently decided to take a vacation to the Libyan revolution. He brought a throwback Jerry West jersey with him....
Kansas State's EcoKat Mascot Will Reduce Energy Usage And Humiliate The School
The Kansas State administration may need a refresher in the 2011 version of "braggin' rights." The school is taking on rival Kansas in something called the Take Charge! Challenge, which aims to increase recycling and conservation efforts at the two institutions....
Pac-12 Releases A Highfalutin Hype Video That Arizona State Students Won't Be Able To Understand
We've provided here the full transcription of the purplest and most thesaurus-dependent prose to ever grace a promotional video for a college football conference. College football is back, you guys. Let me rephrase that: college football is back with "an avant garde redesign of the competitive bal...
Dook Sisters Go To Court Over Who's Dookier
The daughter of a Duke alumnus has filed a lawsuit against her sister, her brother-in-law, and Duke University for her inherited right to sit among these fine young men and women at Cameron Indoor Stadium all season long. Katina Dorton is seeking damages for the "fraudulent transfer" of two season t...
Duke Tweets The Dookiest Tweet Imaginable
I'd be a very happy man if someone in the University of Arizona public relations department retweeted this. [@DukeNews]...
Behold The Pride Of The Ohio State University
Police busted a 1,000-strong block party near the OSU campus over the weekend, and these three young gentlemen — from left to right, Michael Shivak, 21, Matthew Coleman, 19, and Brian Witt, 21 — were arrested on charges of a felony assault on a police officer. No idea how Shivak came out so clean....
A Special Graduation Message To The Class of 2011
Every year, thousands of young Americans graduate from college. And every year, those poor wretched hungover bastards are forced to sit out in some quad in million-degree heat to listen to a mildly famous person yammer on and on for hours about how these kids will change the world and all that bulls...
College Students Celebrate Bin Laden's Death With Patriotic Backflips, Nudity, Beer: A Gallery
In celebration of the fact that Osama bin Laden was announced dead last night, American college students everywhere took it upon themselves to riot in the streets, drunkenly yell their college rally chants on national television, and light couches on fire. Oh, America....
Dookie’s Obnoxious “Open Letter” To Kyrie Irving As Obnoxious As You’d Expect
Last night's NCAA title game was horrible to watch, so thank goodness Chris Cusack of the Duke Chronicle, who was apparently born with a bronzed asshole, is sending the 2011 college basketball season out on a high note by writing this very hateable open letter to Kyrie Irving....