si Page 988 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

NCAA Pants Party: Wisconsin Vs. Texas A&M Corpus Christi
Wisconsin Badgers (28-5) vs. Texas A&M Corpus Christi Islanders (26-6) When: Friday, 2:35 p.m. Where: Chicago...

NCAA Pants Party: Indiana Vs. Gonzaga
Indiana Hoosiers (20-10) vs. Gonzaga Bulldogs (23-10) When: Thursday, 9:40 p.m. Where: Sacramento...

Stuck On You: Isiah Thomas Edition
It's time once again for Stuck On You, where players, coaches and owners decide that after everything, all they've ever wanted was right there in their own backyard the whole time. This week we lead off with Madison Square Garden Chairman James Dolan, who looks across the room at embattled Knicks co...

The Caveman Guy Is Getting His Own Show ... With Phil Simms?
So here's a show we would watch: It turns out that the GEICO Caveman commercials are getting their own television show. We have no problem with this idea; we find the Caveman skits hilarious, particularly the one where he's on the cable news show....

NHL To Simon: Pack Your Crap And Get Out
Because we've never really shown it, here's the tomahawk chop by the Islanders' Chris Simon on the Rangers' Ryan Hollweg from Thursday. After mulling the attack over the weekend, the NHL doled out a 25-game suspension for Hollweg for thrusting his neck at Simon in a vicious manner. Or, no, the other...

Wisconsin Badgers
1. Old School Quickies. Bucky Badger's full name is Buckingham U. Badger. Is Minnesota's Golden Gopher that sophisticated? I doubt it. The Badger mascot actually stems from when the territory was dubbed "The Badger State," not because of animals in the region, but rather an association with miners i...

Indiana Hoosiers
1. Larry Bird and What Might Have Been. The 1976 Indiana Hoosiers—the last undefeated team in men's college basketball history—are generally considered to be the second-best team of all time behind 1968 UCLA. But remember that West Baden/French Lick native Larry Bird was successfully recruited by Bo...

You Have No Idea How Hard It Is Not To Make A "Pokey" Joke
This, friends, is Pokey Chatman, who, until about 16 hours ago, was one of the most successful young coaches in women's college basketball, leading her LSU Tigers into the NCAA tournament and earning the respect of her peers. Now, though, she's decidedly less than that: Now she's a disgraced former ...

Sports Illustrated Apologizes For All The Diarrhea
If the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition didn't have enough problems already — sorry, guys, it's not 1985 anymore; you have no idea how much more access we have to naked people now — it appears now they've got another issue: When you think of the SI swimsuit edition, you just have to think of Hepa...

A Sad, Base, Disgusting Poll, And We, Frankly, Are Ashamed Of You
We continue to feel bad for attractive female sideline reporters. They work hard, they travel like crazy, they put in the hours ... and no matter what they do, all they ever receive for their efforts is "ooh, boobies!" It has to be frustrating, and we do our best to rise above it around here....

Ohio State Helps Billy Packer Celebrate His Birthday
The Buckeyes just downed the Badgers 49-48 after Ron Lewis rejected a last second 12-foot attempt by Wisconsin. This was immediately followed by the fans of the #1 team in the country rushing the court....

Why Do They Mic Up Golfers, Anyway?
For all the talk of Tim Hardaway over the last week, we mustn't forget this grand moment from last year's Masters, when Vijay Singh, upset with a slicing drive, croaked "Fucking Faggot Motherfucker!" in his special Vijah Singh accent....

ESPN: We Pan The Crowd, You Decide
Look, according to union rules, technicians in the ESPN video truck get one 15-minute coffee break every two hours. So if you're the director, sometimes you need to delegate. "Go ahead and choose which section of the crowd to pan, Buzz. I'm finishing my danish." Or, you know, perhaps every fifth per...

No More "Conversation" On Page 2
As many of you noticed yesterday, our friends at ESPN.com have discontinued ESPN Conversation on its Page 2 columns. They're calling it the end of the "Beta" testing, though we're not sure how much sense that makes: Why would you test something on the most easily-commented upon stories just to push ...

Trying To Understand The Illini Car Crash
Now that Illini center Brian Carlwell's condition after Monday's accident in a car driven by teammate Jamar Smith has been upgraded to "fair," we think it's probably OK to look at some of the more bizarre aspects to the crash....

The Eye Of The Tiger Will Save A Serbian Village
Zitiste is a small Serbian town with a population just over 3,000. I guess the village is only mentioned in the news when they're hit with floods, and they're getting tired of it. To counteract this, they're spending money on not some sort of drainage or irrigation system, but... a big Rocky statue....

The Bear Had No Use For Sideline Reporters
The more I watch this, the more I laugh. That's legendary Alabama coach Paul "Bear" Bryant, just barely stopping short of saying something like, "Look, you stupid bitch." Today's coaches (for the most part) are too publicly polite to embarrass a sideline reporter by pointing out the absurdity of the...

Matt Simms Can Roll A Fat One (In A Slightly Different Fashion Than His Brother Can)
You might not have realized that Phil Simms actually has two football playing sons. The first is Chris Simms, of course, who was John Amaechi before it was COOL to be John Amaechi. But the second is Matt Simms, who is about to attend Louisville and has proven to be a bit of an asshead....

Hey, Why Is Kenny Chesney Suddenly Calling Me?
In our original neck of the woods in Mattoon, Ill., NFL loyalties are rather split. Some people root for the Chicago Bears (four hours away), some root for the Indianapolis Colts (90 minutes away) and some odd souls hopped on the Rams bandwagon (two hours away). (Some insane people stuck with the fo...

Come On, Ask Him About Chad Pennington
When one of the editors of Kissing Suzy Kolber has his picture taken next to a clearly thrilled Joe Namath ... well, that gets itself its own posts. Sometimes worlds collide a bit too much around these parts....