silly-season Page 1 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Premier League Transfer Deadline Day Is Going To Be Nuts
The Premier League transfer window officially closes in less than 24 hours, and the usual whirlwind of transfer rumors has turned into a tree-uprooting, house-demolishing super tornado. New, credible reports of big-name players going into and out of the Premier League are flying around and changing ...

Harry Maguire Is The Best Manchester United Can Do
The fee itself, as gargantuan as it is, isn’t really an issue. Manchester United are one of the few clubs in the sport for which money truly is no object, and so their decision to break the defender transfer record is no cause for alarm. If there is an issue with the Red Devils paying Leicester City...

Gareth Bale's Unbearably Bleak Situation At Real Madrid Is Close To Its End
A prolonged transfer saga can either be endlessly entertaining or relentlessly dreary, depending on your point of view. The Gareth Bale transfer saga was somehow straddling the line between both extremes, but has taken a decidedly taken a gloomy turn this weekend....

Barcelona Sign New Player Antoine Griezmann, But Still Have The Same Old Problems
The transfer that has been over a year in the making, and has felt basically inevitable for a couple months now, has now been completed. Antoine Griezmann is at last officially a Barcelona player....

João Félix Has Arrived
Release clauses in soccer are oftentimes more symbolic than anything else. Clubs with leverage will often drop a sky high release clause (the amount of money they would have to accept for a player, whether they want to sell him or not) on a promising young player mostly just to scare off interest fr...

Barcelona Signed Frenkie De Jong And Now Must Figure Out Who They Want Him To Be
It is glaringly obvious that Dutch midfielder Frenkie de Jong is one of the most exciting prospects in world soccer today. While I and most others writing about him now, after the hotly contested courtship that involved pretty much all the game’s biggest clubs finally came to a close when Barcelona ...

How Is Christian Pulisic Going To Fit In At Chelsea?
On Wednesday, Premier League giants Chelsea purchased Christian Pulisic from Borussia Dortmund for an astronomical €64 million (nearly $73 million). After finishing out this season in Germany, the winger will officially become a member of one of the biggest clubs in the world, in the best league in ...

Hot Damn, Chelsea Just Bought Christian Pulisic For A Shit-Ton Of Money
The rumor mill has been in overdrive these past few weeks about Christian Pulisic’s future, and today we got official confirmation of a move that still feels a little shocking: Premier League giants Chelsea have purchased the artist formally known as America’s Wonderteen from Borussia Dortmund for a...

The Best Dribbler In The World Is Back In The Premier League
The best, most unstoppable dribbler in world soccer will be playing in the Premier League this season. Though it’s probably not the player you think....

Sweet Baby Jesus, Cristiano Ronaldo Really Will Leave Real Madrid For Juventus
What at first felt like the same sort of hyped-up salary negotiation process between Real Madrid and Cristiano Ronaldo we see almost every summer has just gotten real as hell. Real Madrid have now confirmed that, at Ronaldo’s request, they have agreed to transfer him to Juventus....

Antoine Griezmann Announces His Intent To Stay With Atlético Madrid In Moronic TV Special
Antoine Griezmann is famously a huge basketball head (though he’s much less well-versed in other aspects of American culture...), so it wasn’t totally surprising when he announced yesterday that he would reveal his long-awaited choice of whether to stay at Atlético Madrid next season or leave for Ba...

Atlético Madrid Sell Yannick Carrasco In Latest Bit Of Chinese League Insanity
After a couple years’ worth of flabbergasting player transactions that sent relatively young, increasingly talented, borderline world-class players from some of the best leagues in Europe and South America to the gilded shores of China, this season felt quieter, like maybe normalcy had finally reass...

Riyad Mahrez Is Trapped In Leicester
Leicester City star Riyad Mahrez missed training today. It was the fourth consecutive session he’s not attended, and not because of an injury or any other valid excuse that would justify his skipping of practice. No, Mahrez has missed training because he’s mad at the club, and it’s hard not to feel ...

Arsenal Are Having A Shockingly Great Transfer Deadline Day
Well, well, would you look at that. Ol’ Arsène had an ace up his sleeve after all, and Arsenal have locked in two players on this transfer deadline day who will give Gooners everywhere something to cheer for once and, even more importantly, some much needed hope....

Three-Team Standoff Hopefully Will Not End With Arsenal's Dick Getting Shot Off
Famously star-crossed Premier League club Arsenal have already had a bad winter transfer window. Just last week the Gunners let Manchester United Debo them out of their best player, Alexis Sánchez, and the only thing that could even kind of almost halfway redeem them from that humiliating chump move...

Man City Spend More Of Their Unlimited Money On Yet Another Wildly Expensive Defender
Manchester City are one of the biggest and most ambitious clubs in world soccer. In order to realize their silver-lined aspirations, they need lots and lots of money to invest in the team. Luckily for them, they have more money than god thanks to the backing of the Abu Dhabi royal family which owns ...

Manchester United Need To Stay The Fuck Away From Our Wonderteen
The good thing about having one of the soccer world’s most coveted young attacking prospects is that the eyes of the game’s biggest clubs will be focused on the kid, each team projecting out his possibly incredible future and positioning themselves to snatch it for themselves if they so decide to ma...

The Coutinho-To-Barcelona Transfer Saga Is Back On, And Might Actually Happen This Time
This past summer was a great one for aficionados of melodramatic transfer window soap operas. The most passion-inflamed and drama-filled ones were the two Barcelona-based series, NeyWatch and One Life to Liverpool. NeyWatch, you probably remember, starred the impossibly hunky Neymar and detailed the...

Premier League Votes To Close Transfer Window Before Season Begins
After much discussion about the relative pros and cons of the strategy, Premier League teams have reached an agreement today that, starting next year, the league’s summer transfer window will close the day before the season starts....

Slavery-Supporting Nation's Propaganda Arm Buys Kylian Mbappé In Super Shady Transfer
Qatar is a loathsome county built on corruption, a labor system that closely resembles slavery, and the support of the murder of innocent people through the financial backing of terrorists. Qatar is also the owner of French club Paris Saint-Germain, the country’s luxurious and extravagantly gilded s...