sir Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Boston Marathon Had Two Shocking Winners<em></em>
You will read, and in fact are reading right now, that Desi Linden and Yuki Kawauchi’s times (2:39:54 and 2:15:58) were the slowest winning times in the Boston Marathon in 40 and 42 years, respectively. You should pay this no mind—given the brutal rain and headwinds in which the race was run, and gi...
Darren Rovell Plays Basketball Like A Tortured Soul Who Writes About Sports Business<em></em>
ESPN sports business reporter and press-release dumpster Darren Rovell plays D like he has suddenly been stricken with scoliosis. This was true in 2016 when he flailed and yelled at Kristaps Porzingis, and it was still true this weekend when he took on AND1 Mixtape star Philip “Hot Sauce” Champion a...
Record-Setting Minor League Hit Streak Broken Up With Benches-Clearing Walk
Jose Siri is an outfielder in the Reds system, currently playing with the Class A Dayton Dragons of the Midwest League. Baseball Prospectus pegged him as Cincinnati’s 10th-best prospect on July 19—on that date Siri was already nearly a month into a hitting streak that would eventually stretch to and...
<i>Wheel Of Fortune </i>Contestant Completely Blows It<em></em>
Damnit, Kevin, you got so close before your horniness undid you....
Siri, Unaware Women Play Four Quarters Of Basketball, Convinced Every Game Is Double-OT
NCAA women’s basketball switched from halves to quarters two years ago, but Siri didn’t get the notice. Ask Apple’s digital assistant for a women’s tournament score, and she’ll excitedly inform you that the game was a thriller—going to double overtime....
Do People Use Siri To Sext? It’s A Special Super Bowl Funbag!
I got good news, and I got bad news. The bad news is that this week’s Funbag is a special podcast edition, featuring me and Marchman addressing all of your most pressing questions. We had to do it this way because I’m in San Francisco covering the Super Bowl for GQ. (Don’t worry, there will still be...
Tom Coughlin Wants His Dang Phone's "Lady In GPS" To Shut Up
Giants head coach Tom Coughlin is 68 years old. Factoring his age in with his demanding job, no one's expecting him to be on the cutting edge of technology. And yet, Coughlin's anecdote about his inability to turn off Siri on his iPhone—or, "the lady in GPS"—is still fantastic:...
Steinski's Records Weigh A Ton
Last week I hung out with my man Steinski and spent the afternoon in his lab listening to records....
![[UPDATE] Siragusa Forced To Sell Restaurant License After Drunk Patrons Die](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18y1746bzq7x2jpg.jpg)
[UPDATE] Siragusa Forced To Sell Restaurant License After Drunk Patrons Die
UPDATE: In the official press release regarding the matter, Siragusa is not listed as an owner of this specific Tiffany's. The owners are Bruno D'Uva Sr., Bruno D'Uva Jr., and Lisa Barna....
Romanian Princess Arrested In Oregon Cockfighting Ring
This, right here, this is something special. This is a royal mug shot....
Chelsea, Arsenal Reach The Champions League As Spurs Suffer Heartbreak
The last day in the Premier League wasn't for the faint of heart. With 36 goals scored, today was the highest-scoring final match day ever. But while just about every other English side scored goal after goal, Chelsea, Arsenal and Tottenham were each entangled in nail-biters to see how their places ...
Jack Edwards Is Crazy, Compares Matt Cooke To Sirhan Sirhan
And just like that Jack Edwards cashes in all that Boston good will....
Mercifully, Tony Siragusa Will Not Appear On Your Televisions This Playoff Season
Tony Siragusa's book entertained us, even though he lied in the course of promoting it. But he consistently fails to entertain us on NFL telecasts. He also consistently fails to inform us, about football or, for that matter, anything else. This sweater was the high point of his 2012. Kenny Albert an...
Who Are The Computers Voting For? We Ask Siri And Others For Advice
I'm about to go vote, and I haven't read up much on the issues. I don't know which candidate loves America more or who has the bigger penis. So I asked the only objective sources I could find: computers. In case you're still on the fence, I've copied their advice below. ...
Free Alex Smith's Hat!
Yesterday, Alex Smith revealed that the NFL has threatened him with $15,000 fines if he continues to wear his San Francisco Giants cap during press conferences. It's non-approved gear from a competing league, you see, and that's not cool. Postgame is prime time for marketing NFL products, and the le...
Tony Siragusa Says He Never Wanted To Hurt Anyone. Tony Siragusa Is A Liar.
« Previous entry | Next entry »...
Tom Brady's Cock Is Two Feet Long, Penn State Is A Cult, And Other Things We Learned From Tony Siragusa's Autobiography
Tony Siragusa may be a pain on Fox's NFL telecasts, during which producers have inexplicably tasked him with standing on the sidelines and bellowing nonsense. But the man can tell a good story. He does a lot of that in his new book, Goose: The Outrageous Life and Times of a Football Guy, which he co...
Fox Unveils "Goose Cam," Which Is The Worst Thing Ever
I can't imagine there's any football fan who turns on their TV on Sundays and thinks to themselves, "God, I hope this game features lots of Tony Siragusa and his crack football analysis." Well, now Fox is investing even more in their rotund, roaming reporter, giving him some kind of gadget-filled ...
Pablo Sandoval Pies CSN Bay Area's Jaymee Sire In The Face
The Giants beat Bay Area rival Oakland yesterday 4-0 and after the game CSN Bay Area's Jaymee Sire was in the clubhouse asking questions and rolling tape. Pablo Sandoval was lurking, however and while poor Jaymee was wise to his plan to get Pagan, she learned the hard way that the Panda is an agil...