slander Page 24 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Even The Top Seed In The Playoffs Isn't Good Enough For This Expressive Bulls Fan
Your morning roundup for April 9, the day it became painfully evident that knowledge gleaned from the Old Testament and YouTube videos do not a professional at-home circumcisionist make....

If A Hockey Writers' Protest Emerges From Long Island, And No One Hears It...
So, as surprising as the thought might be, there is a hockey team playing its games in Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, best known to you as the venue that hosted that awful concert you once had to drag your niece to. That hockey team is the 30-37-12 New York Islanders, which even has a couple spr...

The NHL Doesn't Seem To Think The Islanders Can Control Their Players
Your morning roundup for Feb. 13, a day in which a Supreme Court justice prepares to celebrate five years of playing mum at work....

The Cleveland Cavaliers Are On A One-Game Winning Streak
Your morning roundup for Feb. 12, the day Mars-commute impregnating became a non-starter in the name of continuing the colony....

Isles Goon Runs Business More Successful Than His Own Team
Zenon Konopka, who leads the NHL in penalty minutes this year, is a grapeseed oil magnate. He makes and sells wine, too. Then, presumably, Sandis Ozolinsh drinks it. [AmEx Open Forum]...

Mr. Glass Rick DiPietro To Miss A Month After One-Punch Knockdown
The 15-year-man will be out 4-6 weeks with facial fractures and knee swelling. Should have been wearing knee pads, because Brent Johnson made him his bitch. [Islanders.com]...

Poorly Worded Islanders Ad Seems To Want You To Hit Your Ladyfriend
Matt, who sent this along, wonders if the Isles "are trying to promote spousal abuse or just good old-fashioned rough sex?" Either would be less odious than spending Valentine's Day at Nassau Coliseum, or Dave & Buster's, for that matter....

Don't Want To Play For A Crappy Team? A Former Player Says That's Too Damn Bad
Evgeni Nabokov was claimed on waivers by the Islanders, but has no intentions of reporting. Justin Bourne's been in that situation, and says Nabby needs to suck it up....

Thrashers/Islanders Game Targeted For Quebec Relocation Rally
Nassau Coliseum isn't just for hockey. It's hosted a number of empty seat conventions this year, and Saturday night will be the destination for busloads of Quebecois, looking to raise support for the return of the Nordiques....

Not Even The Islanders TV Guy Gives A Shit About The Islanders
Islanders announcer Howie Rose was tired of calling what would turn out to be a 13th straight loss. When he thought they were in commercial break, he let his feelings be known....

Islander Fan Wins A Car By Shooting Better Than The Islanders
It's the equivalent of the half court shot: sliding a puck from the opposite blue line through a precisely puck-sized hole in front of the goal. For the first time we can remember, someone actually made the shot....

Owner Of 14th Place Team Proposes Rule Allowing 14th Place Teams To Make Playoffs
The NHL's GM meetings wrapped up this week, and lost in the foofaraw over hits to the head was the Islanders' brilliant idea to render the six months of the regular season meaningless....

Brendan Witt Is Probable (Car Accident)
The Islanders defenseman was hit by a truck while walking in Philadelphia today, but refused medical treatment and will be in the lineup tonight. He also visited the zoo and beat up a gorilla that looked at him funny. [Newsday/TSN]...

Even The Owner Of The New York Islanders Doesn't Like His Team
Nine years ago, businessman Charles Wang thought he would do Long Island a solid and buy their Islanders so the team could stay in Nassau County. Now? He kinda wishes he could have a do-over....

Fletch (And The Islanders) Lives
It's the NHL Closer. We pass the mic to the kids at Orland Kurtenblog. Their NHL Closer is written by Canadians for Americans....

Al Arbour Promptly Removes Penguins From His Lawn
• This Was Actually How The Redskins Wanted To Bring Joe Gibbs Back, But He Thought It Was Permanent, And Nobody Had The Heart To Tell Him Otherwise — This story about Al Arbour coaching the Islanders again after 13 years to round out his coaching career at an even 1,500 seems pretty cool, doubly so...

The Islanders Love Those Cute Little Bloggers
You might remember when we told you about the New York Islanders' "revolutionary" Blog Box, in which "bloggers" were "credentialed" to "cover" the "hockey." (We're quote crazy today!)...

The Islanders Want Their Blogs In A Box
Yesterday, the New York Islanders — perhaps noticing that the number of reporters in their "legitimate" press box was dwindling — announced "The NYI Blog Box." It is, as far as we can tell, the first attempt by a league, team or organization to address the growing influence of the sports blog world ...

Look Over Here! We Use Steroids, Too! Look, Dammit!
In their ongoing battle for relevancy in the world of sports, the NHL took a positive step forward yesterday, proving that their sport is cool enough to require the use of steroids. New York Islanders 37-year-old journeyman defenseman Sean Hill was busted for abusing performance enhancers....