snot Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
You Suck, Schuster!
A double in the top of the third ended Patrick Schuster's bid for a fifth consecutive no-hitter. [TampaTribune]...
Jessica Rose A Little Unclear On This Blogging Business
"I unfortunately won't be home to view the game and don't have DVR since I just moved. This is not fun for me. Keep me updated via twitter @jessicaleerose." [Puck Daddy]...
Barry Zito Controls The Universe
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
The Scottish Football Association Will Not Abide Your Pantomimed Oral Sex
The Scottish Football Association has banned players Barry Ferguson and Allan McGregor for making the shocking (SHOCKING!) hand gesture seen to your left. Who would've guessed the Scottish Football Association were such pussies? [Guardian]...
The Horrbile Truth: Lady Terrapins Eat Kids
It's their team motto, and it's simply left to us to interpret it. "We Eat Kids." What kind of sick antics are going on behind the scenes at the NCAA Women's Basketball Tournament?...
T.O. Not Headed To Tennessee
Fine. KOGOD's source might have misinterpreted the Nashville sighting. But tell me this, oh mighty chroniclers of facts — can you do a gay chimpanzee pretzel dance? Nope. [NBC Sports Blogs]...
Peter King Still Won't Shut The Door On Favre Just Yet
King says he thinks Favre will stay retired due to shoulder injury, but seems to imply that his pal's not completely shutting the door on another return just yet. Another fun "Summer of Favre." [SI]...
Peter Gammons Regrets Not Sticking Up For Roberts
SI writer Jeff Pearlman criticized ESPN's Peter Gammons for the way he handled the Alex Rodriguez interview, accusing the venerable baseball writer of "softball questions and limited inquisitiveness."...
Dwyane Wade Ain't Burning After All, Says Wife
It appears Dwyane Wade's estranged wife, Siohvaughn, was embellishing a little bit. Those STDs she allegedly got from D-Wade? Not true, says his lawyer. [Sports Pros(e)]...
Why Doesn't Reggie Bush Get Any Respect? (It's Not The Hamsters)
ESPN's big Alaskan sled dog of a football analyst Mark "Stink" Schlereth was summoned to critique the performances after Thursday night's New Orleans Saints/Chicago Bears game. One player who didn't impress him? Reggie Bush....
Today Is A Day You Can Easily Find Yourself Blinded By Erin Andrewsness
First America's favorite sideline princess popped up on Dan Patrick's radio show, and playfully engaged in back-and-forth with her former ESPN co-worker about sideline horror stories, including the time that fleet-footed Joe Paterno blew right by her on the way to the locker room . Andrews also chat...
How To Cost Your Team A Win In World Cup Qualifying
First-time Scotland national team player Chris Iwelumo choked on an open net in World Cup qualifying yesterday. The 30-year-old received "a perfect ball across the face of goal to Iwelumo just a few yards out with the net gaping." ...
Chipper Is Cold-Blooded, Giggly
Forgive my Judaism, but I've never been known to partake in the sport of trophy hunting, especially when the trophy is so deliciously nonkosher. However after seeing this video of Chipper Jones I have to say it looks like a good ole' time. What's not to like about a sport that combines the fun of ...
Ken Lucas Owns A Hyperbaric Chamber, And A Black Eye
Panthers' wide receiver Steve Smith got into it with cornerback Ken Lucas earlier today in training camp, the fracas resulting in Lucas being sped off the practice field in a cart with an ice pack over his left eye. But that's not what caught my attention about Lucas. While looking up background on ...
Guy, Yes, Maybe, Guy, Guy (Your Results May Vary)
Having once lived in Westwood for 13 months, one would think that I would have noticed hundreds of UCLA coeds running around in their panties three times a year. But nope. The UCLA Undie Run was news to me when I read about it this morning (is this a relatively new phenomenon?). The latest installme...
Charles Oakley Can Have Fun Without Michael Jordan, Apparently
A reader who was partying in Vegas this weekend — for the record, we have never partied in Vegas; we don't think our heart could take it — ended up spending the evening with a shirtless Charles Oakley. We are pretty certain we won't look that good shirtless when we're 73. A full set of photos from...
Kobe Bryant, Experienced Drinker
Of all the weird, vaguely insane things that Kobe Bryant has done in his weird, vaguely insane life — this is still our favorite — the most public and quietly strange might have been his claim at his press conference last night that he would go home and “whine about it tonight ... lot of wine ... lo...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while doing a little post-Derby laundry... • Sunday Night Baseball: St. Louis Cardinals vs. Chicago Cubs. Finally, an end to the early May logjam atop the NL Central! [ESPN] • Drag Racing: NHRA Midwest Nationals, Final Eliminations from Madison, IL. This midwestern bias is getting out...
Inside the Infield at Churchill Downs
Just because you don't really give a crap about horse racing doesn't mean you shouldn't be enjoying yourself like the happy-go-lucky types at the OTB. The Kentucky Derby is really just one huge ass party divided in two parts. The rich guys and southern belles cougars wear their most ridiculously ex...