soccer Page 100 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
American Liverpool Fan's Adam Lallama Tattoo Is Dumb And Amazing At The Same Time
Adam Lallama. Adam Lallama. A llama, with Adam Lallana’s face. I’m almost tearing up over the beauty of it all....
Hometown Kid Jesé Introduces Himself To Las Palmas Fans With An Awful Miss
In the 67th minute of Monday’s Granada-Las Palmas La Liga match, PSG loanee Jesé stepped onto the pitch for the first time with his new club Las Palmas. That moment was the culmination of Jesé’s life journey so far, one that started in the city of Las Palmas, went through Madrid, took a short detour...
Romelu Lukaku Is The New King Of England<em></em>
If you are a close follower of Everton or the career of the Toffees’ big striker, Romelu Lukaku, you’ve become familiar with a certain set of criticisms that often get lobbed in Lukaku’s direction: He doesn’t run enough. He needs to improve his hold-up play. He only wants to score goals....
Manchester City Supporters Praise Jesus After Stoppage-Time Goal
Manchester City pulled out a win over Swansea City after Jesus showed no mercy to keeper Łukasz Fabiański and knocked in a rebound in the 92nd minute to give the home supporters a 2-1 win to go crazy about....
Eden Hazard Makes Arsenal Look Like Children
Chelsea doubled its lead on Arsenal early in the second half as Eden Hazard wove his way past a Gunners squad apparently completely made up of the family members of neighboring Mr. Bean. ...
The USMNT Can Party Now
Attention, attention: The United States Men’s National Team is cool again, just in time for spring break. Bruce Arena has released the team from the authoritarian hold of Jürgen Klinsmann and he’s ready to burn this motherfucker down....
Elderly Giant Peter Crouch Is Still Scoring Goals And Dancing Like A Lovable Goof
Of all the soccer players even non-obsessives can most likely recognize, Peter Crouch is probably the oddest. He was never a truly great player, and never really all that popular or famous, either. For most of you who know Peter Crouch, it’s because of two of his immutable attributes: 1) that he’s E...
Sacramento's MLS Expansion Bid Is A Fiasco<em></em>
Sacramento was one of 12 cities to submit a formal application for an MLS expansion team yesterday, but they did so under mysterious circumstances. The city’s highly successful USL Pro side Sacramento Republic FC was suspiciously absent from the bid, which was handed in by a former Kevin Johnson PR ...
This Terrible Jack Rodwell Tackle Is Why English Soccer Is Wonderfully Stupid
Just look at this shit. A beautiful touch by Tottenham’s Mousa Dembélé to slice through Sunderland’s midfield. A completely hopeless and reckless leg-smasher of a tackle by Jack Rodwell in response to Dembélé’s skill. And somehow, despite standing three feet away with a perfect view of the clatterin...
Sacramento's MLS Bid Possibly Derailed By Last-Second Ownership Coup
Of the 12 cities that formally applied to be part of the next round of MLS expansion today, Sacramento has perhaps the strongest case. Or at least they did, until its team’s owner made a bid that possibly excluded the city’s highly successful team....
Apparently Nobody Wants To Make It Hard For Chelsea To Win The Premier League
Chelsea came into today’s huge match against Liverpool atop the Premier League with an eight-point lead in the table that seemed right on the cusp of insurmountability. A loss away at Liverpool, once perceived to be Chelsea’s strongest rivals for the title, was probably the only thing that could tru...
David Luiz Definitely Stole This Free Kick And It Was Genius
My first thought after seeing the ball fly into Liverpool’s completely undefended net after a set piece was Holy shit, what just happened? My next was Oh wow, what a great psych-out free kick routine by Chelsea there! It was only upon my third thought that the true magnitude of the situation’s brill...
Dimitri Payet Gets Out Of England While The Getting Is Good<em></em>
Oh, Dimitri, we hardly knew ye—not that we were given much of a chance, seeing as your too-brief and utterly incandescent Premier League career lasted just a season and a half. ...
The USMNT Has A New Coach And The Same Old Problem<em></em>
It doesn’t make much sense to draw sweeping conclusions about the direction of the USMNT after yesterday’s U.S. vs. Serbia match, and it wouldn’t no matter what the result was. Despite being Bruce Arena’s re-debut at the start of his second spell as USMNT manager as he ushers the team into its post-...
Bricklayer Leads Semi-Pro Sutton United To FA Cup Fifth Round
Non-league Sutton United continued its miraculous run through the FA Cup with a 1-0 win over Championship side Leeds United thanks to a penalty scored by team captain Jamie Collins, who earns a living with his day job as a bricklayer....
Spurs Almost Lose To Fourth Division Wycombe Wanderers
Tottenham Hotspur avoided embarrassment by only the tiniest of margins in the FA Cup today, trailing the fourth-division Wycombe Wanderers for most of the day before escaping with the late win. Down 2-0 at halftime to the League 2 team and tied 3-3 as they went into stoppage time, a final goal from ...
Arsène Wenger Banned Four Games For Pushing Referee
Arsenal will be sans grouchy zipper savant/manager Arsene Wenger for four games, after the English F.A. formally banned him this morning. Wenger was charged with misconduct on Monday for an outburst during last weekend’s win over Burnley....
English Soccer Team Produces Best, Dumbest Highlight Video For Canceled Game
Greenwich Borough FC are a tiny club that play in the Isthmian League’s Division One South. That’s the eighth division of English soccer and it’s mostly made up of semi-pro sides in London and southeast England. They played Hanwell Town yesterday, but the game was abandoned after 15 minutes due to a...
Granit Xhaka Interviewed By Police After Allegedly Calling Airport Worker A "Fucking White Bitch"
Arsenal midfielder Granit Xhaka was in London’s Heathrow Airport yesterday to see off his girlfriend’s brother on a flight to Germany. Things didn’t go as planned, though, and when the brother learned that he would miss his flight, Xhaka allegedly blew up on an employee of the airport, calling the w...
Manchester City Might Be Too Good To Become Great
That was more like it. Sure, Manchester City’s 2-2 draw against Tottenham on Saturday was on one hand frustratingly disappointing, seeing as the Citizens completely dominated Spurs and, barring some poor finishing, even worse refereeing, and a couple ill-timed defensive lapses, could’ve and should’v...