soccer Page 154 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hey, Check Out Mario Götze's Boat Boner
Hey, casual soccer fan! You're likely going to remember Mario Götze as the guy who won the 2014 World Cup for Germany, but you should know that he was famous long before he scored last night's deciding goal. That's because he once got a big ol' boner while hanging out on a boat with a lady....
It Truly Was A Sexy World Cup
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
The "FIFA Corruption" Twitter Account Is Fake, Of Course
Shortly after Germany won the World Cup final 1-0, a Twitter account popped up claiming that the match was fixed, and it had some seemingly convincing evidence. Alas, it was a (clever) hoax....
TV Station Interrupts World Cup For Weather Coverage; Viewers Outraged
Viewers in southern New York and northern Pennsylvania missed the ending of today's World Cup final when Elmira ABC affiliate WENY cut away from the action with six minutes left to cover a tornado warning....
Here's How Götze's World Cup-Winning Goal Sounded In Germany & Argentina
Mario Götze found net in the 113th minute to deliver Germany its fourth world cup. Above is the goal as called on German TV broadcaster Das Erste; below is the despondent call from Argentinian TV Pública. ...
Oh, Look, Another Shot To The Head
(Higuain was judged to have been the offender in this foul.)...
Irish Comedy Show Pokes Fun At Brazil-Netherlands Match With "Highlight"
Après Match is a comedy show on Irish station RTÉ that mocks various soccer commentators from Ireland and Great Britain. (Here's more of their stuff; it's amusing!) Yesterday, the crew found their "Great Dutch Play" from the third-place World Cup match between Brazil and the Netherlands, and the hig...
Thierry Henry Doesn't Give A Shit That He Just Scored A Goal
Thierry Henry popped in a goal in the 45th minute Saturday to put the New York Red Bulls up 2-1 over the Columbus Crew, but he wasn't in the mood to celebrate....
Match Mercifully Ends; Netherlands Beat Brazil 3-0
We know, lady. We know. This...this was not a good match. The Netherlands took out what little air was in this match almost immediately and then tacked on a meaningless third goal in added time, which we're not even bothering to GIF because, fuck it, this was a game for third place. Good news, Nethe...
Netherlands Take Early 2-0 Lead Over Brazil
For a team whose coach wanted absolutely nothing to do with this glorified exhibition match, the Dutch have come out firing. A streaking Robben earned an early penalty in the second minute when Thiago Silva yanked his shoulder as he galloped toward the goal. Robin van Persie confidently hit the top ...
Every Univision ¡GOOOL! Of The World Cup, Ranked By Length
We've been fans of ESPN's excellent World Cup coverage, but for your money's worth it's tough to beat the live match broadcasts on Univision. Here's every goal scored thus far in the World Cup, stitched together into one very long ¡GOOOOOOOOOL!. Below you'll find a chart ranking every goal of the to...
Listen To Buenos Aires React To Argentina's World Cup Semifinal Win
I love this video very much. Reaction videos are generally great for seeing people's reactions—the joy and surprise on their faces, the triumphant body language. In this one, you can't see a thing. But you can hear everything....
Argentina's Javier Mascherano Says He Tore His Anus Against The Dutch
Javier Mascherano did not have a pleasant Wednesday. In Argentina's match against the Netherlands, not only did Mascherano take a hit to the head, but he says he suffered another painful injury while defending a shot by Arjen Robben....
Florida Coach Suspended For "Twerking On Soccer Players" At Party
In the old days, a middle school soccer party used to mean cheap pizza, off-brand local supermarket soda, and having to leave when your mom picked you up on the way back from the mall....
What Brazil's Loss Meant, And What It Didn't Mean
When you visit the Museu do Futebol in São Paulo, you are at one point obliged to enter a long, narrow, pitch-black room, in which the increasingly loud pounding of a heartbeat plays heavily over concealed speakers as images of the Maracanazo—Brazil's infamous loss in the final of the 1950 World C...
Your Netherlands-Argentina Open Thread
Huh, the World Cup actually didn't end yesterday. Let's hope for more fireworks now....
Showing Attractive Fans On TV? That Was One Man's Idea
Originally published on Slate....
Meet "The Saddest Man In Brazil"
He's been dubbed "the saddest man in Brazil," after cameras caught caught him hugging his replica World Cup trophy during Brazil's blowout loss, his face twisted by emotion. But don't you worry about the man who'd rather call himself "Gaúcho da Copa"—he's led just about the best life a soccer fan ca...
Germany-Brazil Was The Most-Tweeted Sporting Event In History
If you are reading this, you probably watched and wondered at Germany's 7-1 brutalizing of Brazil. And there's a good chance you tweeted about it, because it was one of the most stunning outcomes sports has ever seen. If so, you're a little part of history....