soccer Page 214 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Danny Welbeck's Brilliant Back-Heel Volley Brought England From Behind To Beat Sweden 3-2
Sweden's Euro 2012 dream is over thanks to Theo Walcott & Danny Welbeck's work late in today's match....

Banana On The Pitch! A Roundup Of Horrible Euro 2012 Fans, With Croatia In The Early Lead
Ah yes, the traditional banana hurled at a black player. Euro 2012 is officially on!...

Today's Ukraine-France Match Is Delayed Because God Is Angry
Hellfire is raining in Donetsk, where the Euro 2012 Ukraine-France match is delayed due to heavy rain and lightning, some of which appears here to have attempted to find its way inside the stadium. (That ain't sunlight.) Clearly Thor is angry Norway failed to qualify....

Thousands Of Irish Soccer Fans Sing Their Team Off After A Crushing Defeat
Ireland got thrashed by Spain today, 4-0, in the second match of the group stage, but the loyal Irish faithful that flew into Gdansk for the match nonetheless sang their team off the pitch with a rousing rendition of "The Fields of Athenry" in the waning moments. It's basically like a couple thous...

Swedish Team In Trouble After Bare-Assed Game Of "Butts Up"
In my schoolyard it was called "butts up." In yours, it might have been "asses up," "wallball," "red ass," "suicide," but the game is the same, and taps in to the primal center of young boys' brains. It's essentially handball, but the first one to run up a certain number of "outs" must lean against ...

From Ukraine With Love: 24 Racism-Free Hours At Euro 2012
KIEV & KHARKIV, Ukraine—The fast train from Kiev to Kharkiv takes four hours. I know this, although I am not on it. I want to be on it, but tickets are gone, sold weeks ago to assorted Germans and other more prepared fans traveling from the Ukrainian capital to the industrial city that lies 300 mile...

Two Croatian Government Workers Are In Trouble For Flashing Everyone At Euro 2012
Croatia took a vital three points from Ireland over the weekend, sending fans into spasms of joy and occasional nudity. Now two women face losing their jobs after photos of them baring their chests at Sunday's match—including one of an Irish fan licking one woman's breasts—have been seen by pretty m...

Russian And Polish Fans May Kill Each Other Before Their Match Starts
Here are some of the videos that have surfaced from this morning's clashes between Russian and Polish soccer fans, before their teams' match later today at Euro 2012. According to one (biased) account, a Russian fan march was set upon by Polish supporters, and broken up by police firing tear gas a...

Ukraine's 2-1 Comeback Win Left This Swede Feeling Black In The Face
So, yeah, the racism promised to emerge at Euro 2012 in Poland and Ukraine actually did, though in classic 1960's spy drama fashion everyone's blaming the Russians. Sweden had no one to blame but themselves, meanwhile, after a stunning performance by Andriy Shevchenko led Ukraine past the Swedes fo...

Polish Riot Police Vs. Croatian Hooligans—Who Ya Got?
We knew Polish police came prepared for Euro 2012, pants-pissing sound cannons and all. And we expected Eastern European fans to make trouble, because that's what they do. (UEFA has already opened an investigation into racist abuse from Russian fans.) But it turns out our first battle in the stree...

108-Foot Roy Hodgson Erected On English Coast
"Roy the Redeemer" was unveiled this week, a massive statue of England manager aping the famous Christ sculpture in Brazil. He stands above the cliffs of Dover, and is supposedly visible from France. (The two nations face each other on Monday.)...

Piss Cannons And Scrotum-Seeking Dogs: Poland Is READY For Euro 2012
We already dealt with the possibility of trouble inside the stadiums at the European Championship, starting tomorrow. But what about non-matchdays? It's one solid month of foreigners, drunk and nationalistic, roaming an unfamiliar country. Some countries (England) have a reputation for traveling in ...

Just Try To Ignore Those Racist Chants At Euro 2012
The theme of the European Championship, which begins tomorrow, is racism. (To be fair to Poland and the Ukraine, the themes of international soccer over the last five years have been racism and goal-line technology. UEFA has made roughly the same progress on the two.) The BBC kicked it off with thei...

The Portugal-Turkey Friendly Featured A Portuguese Flag Tifo Using Thousands Of Tablet Computers
While Portugal's Euro 2012 tune-up with Turkey didn't produce the expected result (Cristiano Ronaldo missed a penalty kick and Portugal lost 3-1) they can take pride in the display shown during "A Portuguesa," the Portuguese National Anthem. Thousands of tablet computers (possibly iPads, though it...

Patrice Evra Wipes His "Backside" With A Teammate's Shirt, France Beside Itself
What you see here is, evidently, a grown man and professional athlete wiping his "backside" with a shirt and then sniffing it. This quote, which is being attributed to a Parisian magazine, Le 10 Sport evidences France's apoplexy....

Soccer Fan Invades Pitch, Joins Match, Scores Goal
Most pitch invaders (and Idiots On The Field in general) earn a quick bouncing by security officials, but that isn't what happened Wednesday night in Montenegro as a supporter of FK Budućnost Podgorica leapt onto the field in the final moments of his side's league-clinching match against FK Lovćen...

Fifth-Tier Amateur Soccer Club Beats Portland Timbers In Biggest U.S. Open Cup Upset Ever
It's been a rough week for MLS teams in U.S. Open Cup competition, as eight teams from the nation's top soccer league fell to lower-tier competition in the tournament open to all sanctioned clubs in the country. The latest such loss is the most embarrassing, as the Portland Timbers lost 1-0 in extr...

Viggo Mortensen Almost Got Kicked Out Of Dulles Airport For Cheering His Favorite Soccer Team
There are some things that Viggo Mortensen will not be denied. One is completing a quest to destroy the One Ring before the forces of Mordor rise up and take over Middle-earth with an army of mutated John Kruks. The other is watching Club Atlético San Lorenzo de Almagro, the Buenos Aires soccer club...

Mario Balotelli Does Thing
Mario Balotelli's prepared for any racism that might erupt during this summer's Euro 2012 competition in Poland and the Ukraine. Prepared to go to jail, that is, telling France Football he's all too willing to face hate with violence:...

World Celebrates As Celebrity Chef Gordon Ramsay Seriously Injured In Charity Soccer Match
Professional asshole Gordon Ramsay left Sunday's Soccer Aid charity match in Manchester on a stretcher after a hefty tackle by former English soccer star Teddy Sheringham left the Hell's Kitchen chef in pain and gasping for air....