soccer Page 218 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Dirtiest U-12 Soccer Player In The World Discovered In Hong Kong
When an athlete realizes that he's reached the upper limits of his skill, he either accepts it and plays on. Or he learns to play dirty. Like the vicious ginger lad (No. 2) in this video, who was recently spotted in Hong Kong behaving like a human scythe. The boy commits several dirty fouls in the...

Nike Masters Science Behind Human Cloning, Wastes It On Brazilian Soccer Players
On the one hand, it's nice to see that Nike's Phil Knight, the 47th richest person in the world, has finally found an interesting way to spend his insane amount of cash. But if you were going to clone any group of people, would Brazilian soccer players really be near the top of the list? I can onl...

Zinedine Zidane's Headbutt Is Now Art
Among the works of Adel Abdessemed, now on display at the David Zwirner Gallery in New York, is this sculpture commemorating the ignominious, agressive end of Zidane's 2006 World Cup....

Philadelphia Goalkeeper Zac McMath's MLS Season Did Not Get Off To The Best Start
Major League Soccer kicked off this weekend, and with MLS Commissioner Don Garber in attendance, the Portland Timbers were eager to put on their best show in the home opener against Philadelphia Union last night. After falling behind 1-0, the Timbers' Andrew Jean-Baptiste knocked this goal past U...

A Perfectly Zany Rebuttal To The Argument That Mario Balotelli Should Marry His Model Girlfriend
After lovable wingnut Mario Balotelli broke team curfew to visit a strip club in Liverpool last weekend, Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini proposed a cure for his young striker's antics: marriage....

There Is A Rich History Of Fans Shining Laser Pointers In Athletes' Eyes, Especially Cristiano Ronaldo's
Perhaps you heard about the latest hockey dad behavior, in which a maybe-well-meaning father shined a laser pointer in the eyes of the other team's goalie. But you probably hadn't heard that there's a long, fine tradition of shining lasers in pro athletes' eyes. Cristiano Ronaldo, naturally, gets ...

David Beckham Has Beer Thrown At Him, Freaks Out, Sets Up Late Game-Tying Goal Anyway
L.A. Galaxy star and future action hero David Beckham found himself perturbed late in last night's CONCACAF Champions League tie at Rogers Centre when Toronto fans greeted him for a late corner kick with streamers and, eventually, a can of Heineken Alexander Keith's....

Mario Balotelli Does Thing
Even though he promised to stop doing Mario Balotelli things after last weekend's strip club incident, Mario Balotelli has done another Mario Balotelli thing. The Man City striker was reportedly asked to leave Manchester's Trafford Centre after refusing to take off his hood, in violation of mall rul...

While Messi Was Scoring Five Goals, Cristiano Ronaldo's $300,000 Lamborghini Was Getting Towed
Remember when "Messi or Ronaldo" was like, a thing? Feel silly these days, don't we....

Neymar Basically Dribbled A Ball Into The Goal From 70 Yards Yesterday
Santos star and Brazilian international Neymar has been linked time and again, often prematurely, to transfers to big European clubs. But Neymar is still in Brazil, perhaps because he can do things there like dribble the entire length of the field without someone giving him a tumble, which is what...

Some Irish Soccer Hooligans Just Couldn't Hold In Their Excitement
Every year, soccer clubs from Ireland and Northern Ireland meet in the Setanta Cup tournament to battle for local football supremacy. Sligo, the Irish side, won a 2-0 decision over Northern Ireland's Glentoran on Monday night, but the trouble started when the Glentoran fans headed back to their tour...

Clint Dempsey Is Officially Too Good For Fulham
From now until the end of the season, we'll be posting a number of clips from the previous weekend's English Premier League games. If there's a goal, save, dive, lip-read profanity, or hocked sputum we should know about, drop us a line at [email protected]. (You might also enjoy our better-late-than...

Unconscious Soccer Player Gets Red Card For Diving
Diving is a serious problem in soccer, yes? One referee is fighting the good fight, no matter how many critically injured players he has to send off....

Major League Soccer's Facebook Account Likes Strippers
Several tipsters have sent in what appears to be an example of the dreaded "logged in to the wrong account" snafus that must keep social media interns awake at night....

Mario Balotelli Hangs Out With Strippers, Scores The Next Day, May Be Out $396,000
Just a routine weekend in Liverpool, really. On Saturday, Balotelli scored his 14th goal of the season for Manchester City as they went on to beat the Bolton Wanderers 2-0. But it was his Friday night stripper sighting that concerns us—and may cost him. Balotelli was reportedly spotted leaving a Li...

Soviet Russian Wayne Rooney Presents: Tottenham Hotspur Vs. Manchester United Open Thread
Because soccer is Communist, we figured we'd have a bit of Party-approved fun. Fox Soccer says it's a "Clash of the Giants," though they've been portraying everything, including infomercials, that way for a week. Here's your open thread—er, открытая тема—for today's match at White Hart Lane....

This Rocket Goal From Hulk Can Only Be Described As Incredible
Last night's O Classico battle between Portugal's two top teams didn't disappoint, and with a late goal off a free kick FC Porto downed Benfica 3-2. But it was the opening goal that was most impressive, as Brazilian forward Hulk launched a rocket early in the match that broke 60 miles an hour. [E...

Shirtless Arsenal Fan Is A Bit Too Excited About The Gunners' 2-1 Win Over Liverpool
Robin van Persie continued his epic goal-scoring campaign in the Premier League today, scoring both Arsenal goals—the second in stoppage time—to lead his team to a road win at Anfield today. It gave van Persie 25 goals on the season in as many matches, and sent this Arsenal supporter into an ecst...

Philadelphia Union Preseason Friendly Called Off After Not-So-Friendly Fight
The Union are on a tour of Costa Rica to tune up for the start of the MLS regular season, and today's opponents were Primera División side AD Belen. The match was called off midway through the first half, with Belen up 2-0, when the teams engaged in some kicking and shoving....

Needing A Nine-Goal Swing To Qualify, Bahrain Wins Match 10-0
Here's every goal in Bahrain's 10-0 thumping of Indonesia, which was already fielding a bunch of junior players due to internal suspensions. Indonesia's goalkeeper was sent off in the third minute, and the floodgates opened....