soccer Page 224 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Game-Winning Goal Doesn't Usually Come From 60 Yards Out In Stoppage Time
Inigo Martinez, a defender for Real Sociedad, broke open a 2-2 tie against Real Betis yesterday with a goal from about 60 yards out. The game was nearing the end of stoppage time when Martinez scored the game-winner. It's the second goal from that distance in 20-year-old Inigo's career. We'd make ...
Start Your Post-Thanksgiving Diet By Watching Ronaldinho Masturbate
Details here, but yeah. That's something all right....
This Is What Edinson Cavani's First Goal Against Man City Looked Like From The Napoli Stands
Napoli beat Manchester City 2-1 today in UEFA Champions League play. Edinson Cavani scored both goals for the Italian side. He hadn't scored since late October, and his breaking of the drought put Man City in a tough spot for advancing to the knockout stage....
Taped Premier League Game Doubles Ratings For MLS Final
When David Beckham left Real Madrid five years ago for what was billed as a "million-dollar-a-week" deal with the L.A. Galaxy, he said that he had two goals: He wanted to win an MLS championship, and he wanted to use his name to help raise the league's profile....
Former Arsenal Player Gets Pelted With Trash In Turkish Soccer Game
Your morning roundup for Nov. 22, the day we learned the power of Twilight. Video via Cosby Sweaters. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Landon Donovan, David Beckham and Robbie Keane Team Up For Goal That Won The MLS Cup
The LA Galaxy defeated the Houston Dynamo 1-0 tonight to win the MLS Cup....
Sepp Blatter "Deeply Regrets" Suggesting That Racism In Soccer Can Be Settled By Handshakes
Last week, for the 739th time, there were calls for Sepp Blatter's resignation following a fresh round of insensitive remarks from the FIFA president. In two separate television interviews, Blatter denied that there was any racism in soccer and then suggested that players settle their differences ...
The MLS Goal Of The Year Is Incredible For Any League
Remember the name Darlington Nagbe: it's a wonderful name. But also because the Liberian-born, Ohio-raised midfielder was the second overall pick in this year's MLS draft, and scored his first career goal for Portland on this amazing juggle and volley in July. Today it was named the MLS Goal of th...
A Beautiful Soccer Goal That Results In A Not-So-Beautiful Celebration
Your morning roundup for Nov. 15, the day we learned about Ronald Reagan's sex life. Video courtesy Dirty Tackle, via Cosby Sweaters. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Zlatan Ibrahimovic Admits To Catching A Beating From Oguchi Onyewu
In AC MIlan striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic's new autobiography, he describes his 2010 brawl with Oguchi Onyewu. Ibrahimovic may have a black belt in taekwondo, but Onyewu has a black belt in hurting Swedes: "[T]he two players 'wanted to destroy each other,'... 'I'm not talking about a small row,' Ibrahi...
Two Members Of An Extremist Right-Wing English Group Occupied The Roof Of FIFA Headquarters Today
Security must not be very tight at FIFA headquarters in Zurich because two members of the notorious right-wing English Defence League took to the roof of Sepp Blatter's palace to protest FIFA's recent and—it must be acknowledged—very stupid decision to prevent English players from wearing embroidere...
Twitter-Obsessed Soccer Player Gives Child Very Unfortunate Name
Gabriel Zakuani is a Congolese defender for Peterborough, who had a cup of coffee at the top level but couldn't quite cut it. But he's given his son a name as stupid as any Premier leaguer's child....
This Is Why You Don't Ask A Professional Athlete To Be A School "Reading Champion"
I absolutely cannot think of a better inspiration for getting schoolchildren to read than by choosing a man who got very rich without ever having read a book in his life....
Persian Awakening In Perry Hall: Uptight Mullahs Forced To Reverse Decision On Soccer Team's Bernie Dance
Yesterday, we brought you news that the Grand Ayatollah of Perry High School in Maryland had cancelled the boys varsity soccer season after players did the Bernie on the field. The dance was deemed "unacceptable" by the Grand Ayatollah, who also goes by the name Principal George Roberts....
Jurgen Klinsmann Needs 90 Words To Say Nothing
With friendlies against France and Slovenia looming, the U.S. men's soccer team will start getting blooded against stronger competition. Jurgen Klinsmann continues to tinker with lineups and test out new players, so we can't fault him too much for the 1-1-3 record he's compiled to date. But don't th...
Uptight Mullahs Punish Soccer Team For Gyrations They Deem Indecent
No, not the Iranians. The Patch site for Perry Hall, Maryland, reports that the principal of Perry Hall High School shut down the boys' soccer team after the players celebrated a playoff victory by doing the Bernie on the field. Principal George Roberts declared that because of the dance exhibition,...
The Iranian Soccer Players Who "Groped" Each Other After Goals Could Face Public Lashings On The Pitch
On Saturday, Persepolis F.C., a soccer club based in Tehran, scored a goal against Damash Gilan. After the goal, the players gathered to celebrate, as players will do. One of the players, Mohammad Nosrati, sorta stuck his hand in the ass-balls region of one of his teammates, Sheys Rezaei, as playe...
A Seattle Sounders Fan Salutes You, Two Fingers At A Time
Your morning roundup for Nov. 3, the day we learned you're never to old to be a male prostitute. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Ho-hum, Cristiano Ronaldo Is Scoring On Stupidly Awesome Free Kicks Again
After Lionel Messi's hat trick Tuesday—his second consecutive match with at least three goals—the world turned to Real Madrid striker Cristiano Ronaldo for a response. He delivered early in RM's Champions League match at Lyon, with a blistering free kick that had the Lyonnais seeking shelter and O...
In Morocco, They Mix Club Music With Soccer Highlights, And That Makes It More Fun
"A 95th minute amazing strike from Chamseddine Chtaibi gave Maghreb Fez a deserved 1-0 victory against Interclube from Angola, on Sunday, to reach the final of the CAF Confederation Cup. The Moroccan side reached their first ever major continental final on the away goal rule as they were defeated ...