soccer Page 243 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's Video Of A Really Cool Goal From A Dutch Soccer Match Yesterday
In yesterday's Dutch league action, Roda was up 4-2 on VVV Venlo. That's when Pa Modou Kah, described as a Gambian/Norwegian defender, decided to go all "pretty scissor kick" to add a fifth goal to the tally....

Floyd Mayweather Accompanied 50 Cent To Fight Night At Foxwoods And All He Got Was Booed
Your morning roundup for April 17, the day burglars everywhere accept the fact that trying to rob 81-year-old stroke victim/Korean vet Bobby Smith means they'll get a piping-hot frying pan filled with potatoes across the head....

The NBA And NHL Playoffs Are Fine And All, But The Rest Of The World Is Watching El Clasico Open Thread
Big game's about to start. (GolTV's pregame show starts at 3 p.m. eastern; game itself an hour later). FC Barcelona's beaten up enough on defense to give Real Madrid a legitimate shot at avenging their 5-0 throttling from earlier in the season....

The Tax Man's Charges Against Lenny Dykstra Actually Involve A Kitchen Sink
Your morning roundup for April 16, the day Ralphie turns 40, making a whole lot of people question their very mortality, their confidence as fra-gee-lay as a leglamp....

Soccer Fans In Portland Behave Curiously Like Soccer Fans In Any City Outside The United States
Look at all these throaty buggers backing MLS's new team — the Portland Timbers. The Timbers made their home debut last night. Portland fans got to sing the national anthem. So what if the Star Spangled Banner is the only song most Americans have at least some handle on that's not Top 40 dreck? (P...

This Uruguayan Striker Sets The Standard For The 360 Spin-Move Goal
Last night in Bolivia, Blooming and the Destroyers played their annual friendly, the Copa Fundacion de Santa Cruz. Blooming won the match 2-1, and this beautiful self-assisted spin-move goal from Uruguayan Diego Martinones was the game-winner. He nearly one-upped the Swedish kid's back-flip penalt...

Why We Can't Tell You Which Soccer Player Had An Affair With This Lady
Because we don't know. (We're pretty sure it's Giggs, but that's not the point.) And we may never know, as a British judge granted an injunction against a newspaper to prevent it from revealing the details of the player's affair with Imogen Thomas....

Here's Video Of A Pro Golfer Needing 16 Shots To Conquer A Par-4 Hole
Your morning roundup for April 15, the day after Walter Breuning died of natural causes. He was 114 years and 205 days old....

The Owl-Kicking Panamanian Soccer Player Has Acquired A Taste For Human Ribs
Remember when Luis Moreno of Deportivo Pereira kicked an opposing team's mascot — a living, breathing, hooting owl — to help save its wide-eyed soul in February, but it ended up dying of shock? Yeah, well, Moreno's back in the kicking-creatures business, and business is good....

Rio Ferdinand Is Cyberbullying Piers Morgan And His Moobs, For Some Reason
Cyberbullying is not funny. And it's certainly not funny when the former captain of England and the host of one of America's most influential talk shows [Deadspin editor's note: No.] start having a go at each other on Twitter....

Semin Leads The Capitals To Sweet, Sweaty Extended-Time Victory
Your morning roundup for April 14, the day San Dimas High School football no longer rules in the eyes of the Chinese government....

Here's Your Champions League Open Thread
Two games on this afternoon: Shakhtar Donetsk takes on Barcelona at Donbass Arena, and Manchester United hosts Chelsea at Old Trafford Stadium. They both start at 2:45, and with Chelsea down a goal on aggregate, they must win to advance. But Wayne Rooney, threat to already-cursing children everywher...

Charlie Davies Attempts To Save His Failed Goal Celebration By Doing "The Bernie"
Since he returned to professional soccer in late March, Charlie Davies appears to be having a great time. The 24-year-old has scored four goals in three games for D.C. United, which has him on loan from the French club FC Sochaux; the latest tally was this late-game penalty kick against the Galaxy...

Even The Top Seed In The Playoffs Isn't Good Enough For This Expressive Bulls Fan
Your morning roundup for April 9, the day it became painfully evident that knowledge gleaned from the Old Testament and YouTube videos do not a professional at-home circumcisionist make....

Brazilian Striker Neymar Does A Nice Bit Of Skill And Finishes With A Pass
Apart from the fact that The Spoiler has yet to spell his name correctly at the first time of asking (it's Neymar, not Naymer, you idiot), we're growing rather fond of the young Brazilian....

Wayne Rooney Curses And The World Heaves
Shrek got angry after scoring a hat trick against West Ham last Saturday and spat a few acrid words into the camera. Now Shrek will lose 250,000 squid and miss an FA Cup semifinal because some asinine arbiters of morality in sports have decided there's no cursing on the pitch....

This Swedish Kid Sets The Standard For The Back-Flip Penalty Kick
In a game between FC Baar and FC Sempach, two youth clubs in Sweden, Baar's Joonas Jokinen debuted the back-flip penalty kick. We're quite certain this has never been done in a game before. A few places have referred to this as a "somersault" kick; we'll give young Joonas the credit he deserves....

Real Men Support The Cleveland Indians By Kissing One Another On Live Television
Your morning roundup for April 7, the day that attempted courtroom eye-gouging became a no-no....

LeBron James Gets Stake In Liverpool, Joins Unofficial Club For The Filthy Rich
LeBron James is smiling because even after an embarrassing hour-long ESPN special this summer that maligned him to the majority of humans not residing in South Beach, and even after his hometown fans burned his Cleveland jerseys and turned his name into a curse word, and even after his new team face...

Watch Dejan Stankovic Air Out A Goal From Midfield
Inter Milan's Dejan Stankovic scored a goal just 20 seconds into a Champions League game against Schalke last night in Milan. More accurately, Stankovic fluidly picked the ball out of the air from midfield and sent it searing past Schalke goalkeeper Manuel Neuer with one touch. From fifty meters o...