soccer Page 253 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Today In Horrifying Mascot Unveilings
Poland and Ukraine, cohosts for the 2012 European Football Championship, unveiled their mascots today. Take a glance now, and study them at leisure when they come to you later tonight, in your dreams. Standing over you. Staring....
Unbelievable Miss Just Reinforces That There's No Scoring In Soccer
Quarterfinals of the Asian Games, stoppage time, and Qatar's Fahad Khalfan has naught but 24 feet of twine between him and victory. Doink. Uzbekistan would win in extra time....
Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s Kicking Spree Ends With Marco Materazzi Being Hospitalized
We warned you this would happen. Since giving Rodney Strasser a shoeing in training, old Zlatan has grown a worrying taste for showcasing his mad Taekwondo skillz at the most inappropriate moments....
It Looks Like Soccer Player Rio Ferdinand Got Stone-Cold Fisted The Other Day
I shudder to even post this, as the nil-nil Man U vs. Man City match from earlier in the week should produce triple-digit variations of the "Me hate soccer; they no score a lot" line....
Massive Girl Fight Breaks Out At Soccer Game
This brawl at a women's soccer game has the folks at Unprofessional Foul absolutely flummoxed. Who are they? Why are they fighting? One thing is for sure: these women are absolutely pissed at each other....
Ezequiel Lavezzi Channels The Spirit Of Ketsbaia, Somersaults Into The Advertising Boards
Ninety-fourth-minute winners are always likely to give birth to some unique celebrations. Ezequiel Lavezzi's kamikaze assault on the advertising boards during the Napoli/Cagliari clash on Wednesday didn't disappoint, showing shades of Temuri Ketsbaia's half-naked rampage at St. James Park in '98....
Chinese Keeper Wang Dalei Savages Fans In Internet Post: "You Bunch Of Morons"
Chinese international goalkeeper Wang Dalei (or "Big Thunder") has been suspended indefinitely by the Chinese FA after laying into the country's fans following a 3-0 whooping by Japan in an Asian Games group match on Monday....
Bayer Leverkusen’s Sidney Sam Scores An Absolute Pearler
And Sidney's wasn't even the best name on show in Leverkusen's 3-1 win over Kaiserslautern on Sunday — this crack canceled out an opener from defender Florian Dick....
A Very Painful Own Goal
From the lower levels of Irish soccer comes the double-whammy: an own-goal, and the braining of a teammate....
Theo Walcott Is A Published Author Of Children’s Literature
Inspired by the heroes in his favourite bedtime stories, Arsenal striker Theo Walcott, aged 9¾, has written a series of kids’ books whose lead character is loosely based on the forward himself....
Arsene Wenger Responds To Allegations Of Affair With French Rapper Sonia Tatar
Arsene Wenger has released a statement addressing allegations published in the The Sun this morning that the 61-year-old Arsenal manager has been having a two year affair with "glamorous French rap star" Sonia Tatar, 39....
Wayne Rooney Teaches Us The Geography Of Strippers
Rooney is in the States for the week, doing some conditioning work at Nike's training facility. But the British tabloids note that rather than stay on Nike's campus, he's in the "strip club capital of the US." Where is that, pray tell?...
All Record-Breaking Surfer Kelly Slater Needs Are Some Tasty Waves And He's Fine
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Fight Makes High School Soccer Playoffs Watchable, Gets Parent Arrested
Last Friday's Burlington-Essex soccer game was marred when an Essex parent, Mirko Samardzic, fought a Burlington high school official. Between the racism and the public brawls, Vermont truly is the Mississippi of places you can go skiing. [Burlington Free Press]...
Chinese Football Coach Studies Genitals In Order To Find The Next Messi
We've checked our calendar and apparently it's not April 1st for a while yet. Still, that hasn't stopped Chinese newspaper Yangtze Evening Post running a story on a new scouting method for young Chinese football stars — genital assessment....
Cristiano Ronaldo’s Pathetic Dive Against AC Milan Last Night
This post, written by Richard Gilzene, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....
REVEALED: Pages From Jose Mourinho’s Match Tactics Book
Those of you who study Real Madrid manager Jose Mourinho closely will have noticed that, when he isn't chewing gum, yelling, or shooting smouldering looks at people, he likes to write a lot of stuff in his Real-branded notepad during matches....
Soccer Showboating Is Much More Synchronized Than Regular Showboating
The Czech 3rd League must be home to a lot of smack talk to warrant what Lisen did to Jihlava B during Sunday's game: after shouting "kotoul"—Czech for "roll"—the Lisen players to engaged in choreographed gymnastics. [The Spoiler]...
<em>Don Balon</em>’s List Of The 100 Best Young Soccer Players In The World
Don Balon is a Spanish football magazine with a good line in fate-tempting articles predicting the next generation of world superstars....
Tottenham’s Benoit Assou-Ekotto Rips Into "Dirty Prostitute Shagger" Rooney
Tottenham Hotspur defender Benoit Assou-Ekotto, best known for his laid-back, "couldn't give a f**k, tbh" approach to professional football, has laid into his Premier League peers, singling Wayne Rooney out for special attention as a "dirty prostitute shagger."...