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Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup, July 2-3
Before our first semifinal match today, let's look back on the weekend's action with all the goals scored to music that might offend the more culturally sensitive among you. Enjoy....

Colombian Police Seize World Cup Trophy Made Of Cocaine
Colombian drugs police have uncovered a World Cup replica the exact size and weight of the real thing — but made entirely out of cocaine. Looks Diego Maradona's mates are going to have to find him another consolation prize…...

A Late Birthday Present For Our Country: Ronaldo's Son Is An American Citizen!
Not only is Cristiano Ronaldo's baby mama an American, but the kid was born on American soil. Project 2030 (coached by Michael Bradley), here we come! [AP]...

Psychic Octopus Predicts Spain, But It's A FRAUD!
Paul the octopus is 5-0 in picking winners in Germany's matches, and the world has been waiting for his semifinal selection. Unfortunately, there's tomfoolery afoot....

Where Are All The Female Soccer Fans?
Nike's had a generally good track record of World Cup ads, until their recent "Paving The Way" spot raised some eyebrows. It features young soccer players thanking the Men's National Team for inspiring them, and doesn't feature a single girl....

World Cup Open Thread: Paraguay-Spain (UPDATES)
One match to go before the final four is decided. Fun fact: Soccer was invented in the 17th century by a Jesuit priest in Paraguay. So sayeth the Vatican. Comment as you follow the action at home/work....

World Cup Open Thread: Germany-Argentina
This one could be a classic. The Germans have exploded for four goals twice already, and Argentina might be the most talented squad around. Talk about it....

Relive The Ghanian PK Miss Over And Over Again
During stoppage time — in overtime, no less — Uruguay's Luis Suarez was left with no choice but to commit a handball violation. Asamoah Gyan, who had made two PKs during the World Cup already, took it. He missed....

Annoying Use Of Vuvuzela Throughout History: Act IV
It's Friday, which means it's time to tack on a vuvuzela to various indelible moments in world and cultural history. Enjoy and suggest more for next week's final edition....

Meet The USA's Tipsy, Slovenia-Trashing, Bathroom-Snoozing Miss World Contestant (Video)
CAPE TOWN, South Africa — Remember my encounter with the Miss World ladies? Absent from that group was one Lisa-Marie Kohrs, the U.S. representative. We've learned what became of her that day, and what became of her was a sloppy, jingoistic mess....

Here's The NBA All-Star Game Edited To Look Like A Soccer Game, Complete With Spanish Guy Flopping
If you've ever wondered what basketball would be like if it were as low-scoring and anticlimactic as soccer, this is the video for you. [Urlesque]...

The World Cup Curse Of Mick Jagger
Sits in Bill Clinton's box for USA game; USA loses. Cheers on native England squad; England loses. Brings Brazilian son to today's match; Brazil out, kid cries. Any other nations whose dreams you'd like to crush, Mick?...

World Cup Open Thread: Uruguay-Ghana
A match-up of two surprise teams. Has Ghana recovered from its game against the U.S.? Can Diego Forlan and Luis Suarez work some of that garra charrua magic? Comment along below....

Sea Creatures, Soccer Powers Battle For Supremacy
Paul, the Berlin octopus has correctly predicted every German match so far, and he's picking them over Argentina. Sayco, the Argentine dolphin, thinks otherwise. Gentlemen, choose your slimy undersea prognosticators....

World Cup Open Thread: Netherlands-Brazil
Which team's attack-and-smother tactics will win out? Can Arjen Robben continue to run free around the field, or will the Dutch get crushed in Brazil's boa constrictor defense? Comment below as you watch the game....

Diego Maradona’s Entourage — True Identities Revealed!
Some of you might have noticed that Diego Maradona never goes anywhere without a couple of nice gentleman who look like they run a casino when they're not attempting to scare other teams into losing football matches....

Chelsea Rumoured To Be Ridding Themselves Of John Terry
Once again, The Spoiler has received some very interesting information from the various squirrels that roam the country, listening in on football boardroom meetings, and spending the evenings alone in bars drinking to forget, before getting free sex from a sympathetic prostitute....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 29
Two hard-fought games today. Paraguay bested Japan on PKs and Spain grinded out a 1-0 victory over Portugal. Grinded, schminded. Let's relive the "ese" countries' ousters with goal videos wrapped in a tight layer of cultural insensitivity. To the tape!...

Goal-Line Tech Expert: How FIFA Can Kick Bad Calls In 3 Easy Steps
Chuck Salter over at Fast Company is just like you: sick and tired of all the bad calls from refs during the World Cup. This is his three-point plan for FIFA to significantly reduce the number of shitty calls per game....

Pickpockets And Super Afrikaners On The Other Side Of The Sausage Curtain
PRETORIA, South Africa — My host in Pretoria gave me this can of pepper spray to fend off bandits. I didn't have it when the bad men struck....