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Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 15th
Lots of good ones today. The Brazilian goals were nonchalant and North Korea — the Bad Korea — scored on The Selection on a really nice play. Top honors must go to New Zealand's Winston Reid for his stoppage-time equalizer....
Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Elizabeth Minett (A.K.A. Robert Green's Ex)
This is Elizabeth Minet. She's the ex-girlfriend of English goal keeper Robert Green and currently the scapegoat for the Cock-Up heard round the world. But what do we really know about her? Pictures and profile after the jump....
World Cup Open Thread: Brazil-North Korea
This one's not even going to be close, Brazil's going to show 'em what's what for kidnapping all those Japanese people....
World Cup Open Thread: Ivory Coast-Portugal
If Drogba plays, this might be the best game of we've had so far. If he doesn't, expect Cristiano Ronaldo's preening to be even more insufferable....
World Cup Open Thread: New Zealand-Slovakia
Here we go, Day 5. The unfortunately (and accurately?) named All Whites take on the mighty Fightin' Jondas of Slovakia. Who to root for? Hostel was set in Slovakia. That is all....
"If They Decide To Start Killing Us," The Young Afrikaner Said, "We Are Ready"
JOHANNESBURG — See this button? It's called a panic button. It was given to me by my hosts at a guesthouse in Johannesburg. If I press it, I was told, men with automatic weapons will appear and possibly spray the street with bullets in order to quell the panic....
Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 14
Lots of exciting goals today — Japan's Keisuke Honda scoring off of a nice cross and Italy's Daniele De Rossi off a corner kick especially — but let's look at all of them in a culturally insensitive manner....
Yes, Soccer Is Gay
According to this report, from America's finest news source. [Onion Sports Network]...
World Cup Open Thread: Italy-Paraguay
Mandioca! Anything carbonara! Fight! It's Italy and La Albirroja, the darkhorse Paraguayan squadron. Bring your best Pavarotti jokes and comment as you watch the last of today's matches....
U.S.A.-England Tie Given The Lego Treatment
Here's the Lego version of the U.S. England goal. You haven't lived until you've seen a Lego Robert Green lay down on a Lego soccer field in Lego shame. H/T Denton. [The Guardian, via Business Insider]...
Americans Still Coming To Terms With The Rules Of Victory
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....
Your Culturally Insensitive Weekend World Cup Goal Roundup (Video)
Last time around, we didn't have that many goals and thus only a few chances to express woeful ignorance about other countries' cultures. This time? Eleven goals over six games. So let's get stupid....
World Cup Open Thread: Japan-Cameroon
Japan's captain Makoto Hasebe is reportedly fully healed from a back injury, but can he lead Samurai Blue past Internazionale badass Samuel Eto'o and the rest of the Indomitable Lions? Should be a sizzler, so comment below....
World Cup Open Thread: Netherlands-Denmark
Day 4 kicks off with The Flying Dutchpersons taking on the very punny Olsen's Eleven while people the world over incorrectly point out which country is which on a map. Follow the consonant-filled action below....
World Cup Open Thread: Germany-Australia
The Ballack-less Mannschaft take on the adorably named Socceroos. Precision and efficiency or laid-back and hilarious accents, take your pick....
World Cup Open Thread: Serbia-Ghana
Serbia tries to turn off The Black Stars. Aleksander Hemon is confused as to whom to root for. Serbia. Ghana. World fucking Cup. Read some Aleksander Hemon before the game, he's the tops....
World Cup Open Thread: Algeria-Slovenia
Here we go, Day 3. The Desert Foxes take on the Fightin' Titos to see which team can save the most face before letting England and the U.S. advance to the knockout stages....
ESPN Gives Clint Dempsey Unfortunate Nickname
So that was fun, huh? The U.S. played to a draw today thanks in large part to Robert Green's colossal cock-up. Green is expected to be Temple of Doom'd by Capello later this evening. Next up: Slovenia, lower TV ratings....
World Cup Open Thread: England-United States
U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-...
Annoying Use Of The Vuvuzela Throughout History: A Video Retrospective
By now you should be familiar with the vuvuzela, whose buzzing has become the unofficial anthem of the World Cup. Here's a compilation of great moments in history, film, and the internet that may or may not have been improved by vuvuzelas....