soccer Page 270 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Maradona's Pot To Piss In Now Classy As All Get-Out
The Argentine boss demanded the standard toilets in his South Africa suite be replaced with two of "The World's Best Toilet Seat," just $449.95. Why two? One for the cocaine, obviously. [Daily Mail]...
Diarra Diarrhea Costs France A Midfielder
Lassana Diarra will miss the World Cup with what's euphemistically being called "a stomach ailment" or "intestinal pains." It must have been contagious when the entire team nearly shit the bed against Ireland. [AP]...
World Cup Profile: USA
Today, it's the turn of those lovely American chaps, who will be seriously attempting to urinate on England's chips during the group stages. But can they do it? And, more importantly, who ARE these people? Read on to find out…...
Watch Nike's Newest Bloated, Overwrought, Meta-Referential But Sorta Awesome World Cup Commercial
In case you haven't noticed, soccer's been popping up around here with alarming frequency. It's because of the World Cup, mostly. The World Cup is sort of a big deal, like the World Baseball Classic, but exciting....
A Zany Video Of Fat Ronaldo Throughout The Years
Here at The Spoiler technology is king. So, as you can probably imagine, there are nifty little gadgets and terrifying gizmos all over the place. Even so, it was with a sharp intake of breath that the above video was first witnessed....
Soccer Commentary Can Be Hard To Understand But This Is Ridiculous (Video)
Click to view Tossing it down to a reporter on the scene always carries the risk of going haywire. That was the unfortunate case recently when British soccer's answer to Tony Siragusa was asked if there were any updates about the game. [Today's Big Thing]...
Footballer’s Snazzy House — Can You Guess The Owner?
For those of you wondering exactly what £100,000/week might buy you, then this should give you an idea....
La Liga Side Takes On 200 Children — And Wins!
To celebrate Joseba Etxeberria's career, Athletic Bilbao played a match against 200 Basque children, beating them 5-3. Which is fitting, because playing against children is what most La Liga matches feel like for Barca and Real....
Turkish Soccer Fans Set Fire To Their Own Seats
Fans of Istanbul's Fenerbahce were annoyed that a final day draw gave their hated rivals the Turkish League title, so they rationally decided to tear their home stadium apart from the inside. Yeah, that'll learn 'em. [Daily Mail]...
Greatest Football Chants Of The Season REVEALED
Football fans love a good chant, and this season has heard plenty of them....
Two Very Different Approaches To Honoring Your Contract
Houston's Andre Johnson wants to re-negotiate his seven-year contract that has five years remaining on it. Oguchi Onyewu wants to play for AC Milan so badly, he'll do it for free. Who is the dummy and who is the hero?...
Thierry Henry Is Coming To The MLS, Probably
The French striker is reportedly maybe coming to the MLS's misnomer-laden New York Red Bulls, just as soon as France is knocked out of the World Cup. Or he isn't. Or he is, but we shouldn't talk about it yet....
Paraguayan Soccer Player Rockets In 45-Yard Free Kick
For anyone not satiated by the Lionel Messi goalapalooza from earlier, here is another goal video from a funnily named player in a sports league in a country with which you're vaguely familiar. Somebody buy that man a Baviera. [Goal.com]...
Messi Scores 47 Goals…And Here’s ALL Of Them!
And so Lionel Messi equaled a scoring record — held also by hamster-faced Ronaldo — by helping himself to another couple in yesterday's match. The internet beavers have since been working away, and above is some proof of their toil....
Racist English Footballer May Be Out of a Job
Leicester City defender Wayne Brown's vocal support of Britain's all-white BNP party and racist tirade proved so unpopular with teammates, he was suspended for a recent semi-final loss, and his future with the team is now in doubt. Makes sense....
Head of English Soccer Says Spain and Russia Are Trying to Bribe World Cup Referees
Lord Triesman made the claim during a conversation with his ex-mistress, which she happened to be secretly recording. Between Triesman and Gordon Brown, prominent British officials should go ahead and just assume all their private tirades are being taped....
The Spoiler Prize For Best Individual Performance…
… Goes to… Lionel Messi! Yes, not long now until the season is totally over. Just a couple of minor cup competitions to wrap up....
TV People Confuse World Cup Host Country With Similarly Named Landmass
A reader sends this screengrab, from which we can deduce that either 1.) the poor kid doing the chyrons mixed up his large, Southern Hemispheric tracts of land or 2.) South Africa just won a war that no one knew about....
Chelsea And Man City Use Mind Games To Tempt Torres
There will, of course, be much speculation over the summer as to where Fernando Torres might end up, and at the moment, the choices seem to be forking out in four directions....