soccer Page 271 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Paraguayan Soccer Player Rockets In 45-Yard Free Kick
For anyone not satiated by the Lionel Messi goalapalooza from earlier, here is another goal video from a funnily named player in a sports league in a country with which you're vaguely familiar. Somebody buy that man a Baviera. [Goal.com]...

Messi Scores 47 Goals…And Here’s ALL Of Them!
And so Lionel Messi equaled a scoring record — held also by hamster-faced Ronaldo — by helping himself to another couple in yesterday's match. The internet beavers have since been working away, and above is some proof of their toil....

Racist English Footballer May Be Out of a Job
Leicester City defender Wayne Brown's vocal support of Britain's all-white BNP party and racist tirade proved so unpopular with teammates, he was suspended for a recent semi-final loss, and his future with the team is now in doubt. Makes sense....

Head of English Soccer Says Spain and Russia Are Trying to Bribe World Cup Referees
Lord Triesman made the claim during a conversation with his ex-mistress, which she happened to be secretly recording. Between Triesman and Gordon Brown, prominent British officials should go ahead and just assume all their private tirades are being taped....

The Spoiler Prize For Best Individual Performance…
… Goes to… Lionel Messi! Yes, not long now until the season is totally over. Just a couple of minor cup competitions to wrap up....

TV People Confuse World Cup Host Country With Similarly Named Landmass
A reader sends this screengrab, from which we can deduce that either 1.) the poor kid doing the chyrons mixed up his large, Southern Hemispheric tracts of land or 2.) South Africa just won a war that no one knew about....

Chelsea And Man City Use Mind Games To Tempt Torres
There will, of course, be much speculation over the summer as to where Fernando Torres might end up, and at the moment, the choices seem to be forking out in four directions....

World Cup Email Scam Promises The Most Awesome Party Ever
A forwarded email promises a South Africa private beach party with champagne and lobster, lions and elephants, and a DJ spinning house tunes who also carries a gun in case the wild beasts get out of hand. Holy shit, please be real....

Last Night's Winner: Bob Bradley's Blamelessness
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Bob Bradley's exclusion of Charlie Davies from the World Cup roster, which, thanks to Davies's overly cautious Ligue 1 side, isn't Bradley's fault....

World Cup Trash Talk Begins: Lionel Messi Is Coming For Your Women
We're about month away from the start of Soccerpocalypse 2010 and that means it's time for entire nations to start trading highly personal insults. Yes, even attempted seduction of another players ex-wife is fair game here....

Robinho And Pals Dance Merrily Along To Beyoncé
You know how sometimes on Jonathan Ross they will show a clip solely to embarrass a guest? Normally something humiliating from their past, like an old school play, or a silly advert? Good, you do. Well done....

Eggheads Explain How To Take The Perfect Penalty
Football is all about physics, so, in many ways, Wayne Rooney isn't just a footballer, he's also a magnificent scientist. It is also, unfortunately, marred by biology — the most annoying of the sciences — from time to time....

German Soccer Season Ends With Traditional Post-Season Riots
Bochum football club was relegated from the Bundesliga this weekend, so their fans responded in the only sensible way—storming the pitch and attacking players and managers with stones, cans and seats. Now that's a fan appreciation day. [TheLocal.de]...

Drogba Performs His Second Greatest Ever Celebration…
Well done to the 75 per cent of Spoiler readers who correctly fingered Chelsea as the eventual Premier League winners....

Today In World Cup Jingoism
"Our famous prayer is that the Americans don't make the second round," says South Africa's police commissioner, who doesn't want to deal with the headache of making sure President Obama doesn't get killed, should he visit. Thanks? [NYTimes]...

Barca Striker Is Not Gay, He Insists Loudly
This photo of Barcelona's Gerard Pique and Zlatan Ibrahimovic has been making the rounds, with the expected chatter. Ibra had this to say to a reporter: "Come to my house with your sister and see if I'm queer." [via Dirty Tackle]...

Totti Absolutely Hoofs Balotelli, Gets Sent Off For His Trouble
Over in beautiful Italy, Mario Balotelli is a rather controversial figure — a bit like Marmite/Ashley Cole, they either love him, or hate him. Although, in most cases, they seem to hate him. Even his own fans....

Look, They Made Soccer Fun!
Perhaps the Scottish Premier League isn't the best quality of play, but Motherwell's four goals in the last 25 minutes to salvage a 6-6 draw — with a Europa League spot on the line — still makes for a classic match....

Soccer Player Gets Carded For Fatal Heart Attack (UPDATE)
Welp, diving in soccer now has its "boy who cried wolf" moment. The ref showed a collapsed Croatian player a yellow card because he thought he was faking. He wasn't. He was dead....

Abbey Clancy Makes Her World Cup Prediction…
For those of you who prefer not to waste valuable shopping time reading up on the latest football relationships, Abbey Clancy is the lucky model who has long been on the receiving end of Peter Crouch's deep midnight kisses....