soccer Page 276 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Manchester United Player Mows Your Lawn. Literally.
Man U. winger Gabriel Obertan makes £20,000 a week even though he's out with an injury—so the team has him pruning bushes and washing cars to earn his keep. [TheSun, via Unprofessional Foul]...
Beat That, Dr. James Andrews
Arsenal striker Robin van Persie plans to treat his injured ankle by smothering it in placental fluid. Funny, because that description fairly well sums up Cristiano Ronaldo's fling with Paris Hilton. [Guardian]...
Incompetent Soccer Child Is Also Adorable
Good thing this little girl lives in America. If this were Colombia, she'd be murdered for her own goal. (And if it were China, she would have been aborted five years ago for being a girl.)...
Algerian Soccer Team Did Not Sign Up For This
Check out this ridiculous footage of the Algerian bus under siege from rock-throwing Egyptian hooligans. Say....does anyone want my ticket for their World Cup qualifier this weekend? I suddenly have to be somewhere else. [Goal.com, DirtyTackle]...
The Best Taunt You'll See All Week
The Hartford goalie warms up for the shootout by doing cartwheels (20-second mark); Stony Brook's shooter doesn't appreciate that. Let's see what happens next....
Media Continues Psycho-Social Deconstruction Of Elizabeth Lambert, Chick Fights
""Video of the incident has spurred a national debate about sportsmanship, gender roles, double standards regarding aggressiveness and news media coverage and the sexualized portrayal of female athletes." Don't forget Freudian photos of women giving birth to soccer balls. [NYTimes]...
Girls Soccer Is Now The Ultimate Combat Sport
You thought New Mexico's Elizabeth Lambert was tough? Wait until you see the next generation of female soccer hooligans who will take over America with their very unladylike football skills....
Chelsea! Man U! Dental Hygiene!
A thrilling 1-0 game between the clubs atop the table is no reason for this Chelsea supporter to forget to brush his teeth mid-match. [Off The Post]...
Elizabeth Lambert Is Now America's Greatest Villain
The internet is both titillated and enraged (pretty standard for the internet, actually) over the video of an angelic young soccer player nearly decapitating her opponent via ponytail yanking. But does she deserve your scorn or your pity?...
You Really Don't Want To See This
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Okay, I'll Be The One To Say It...This Is Hot
BYU and New Mexico had one of the only the chippiest women's soccer games you'll ever see....
How Many Polish Soccer Goalies Does It Take To Write A Homophobic Book?
Arek Onyszko was kicked off his Danish soccer club after writing a book titled "Fucking Polack" (seriously), including passages like "I hate gays, I really do." Really? Because the Chinese character tattoos on your beautifully sculpted abs say otherwise. [Brooks]...
Russian Billionaires Continue To Mock America's Troubling Financial Times
Chelsea Football Club owner Roman Abarmovich recently hosted a lunch at Nello's in New York City. Everything was going great until the bill arrived: a $47,221.09 bill, that is. Then all hell broke loose....
Goal By SMU Soccer Player Probably Made The Goalie From Tulsa Go 'SM-Ewwwwww'
That is precisely what happened to Ryan Rosenbaum, a freshman at Southern Methodist University. With SMU leading Tulsa 2-1, Rosenbaum booted the ball downfield to clear it out of the defensive zone, which ended up bouncing over the Tulsa goalie's head and into the net. The goal ultimately was the ga...
Shady Soccer Match Invents The "Let's All Stand On The Sideline" Defense
Dirty Tackle tracked this one down, and it's impressive for the sheer ballsiness of it....
The Kid Who Threw That On The Pitch Had Some Balls
Strange things are afoot in the Premiere League. Sunderland got a break when the lone goal of the match was scored by Darren Bent after the ball caromed off a beach ball thrown on the field by some punk kid....
Maradona Tells His Critics To "Suck It", Also "Keep On Sucking it"
Argentina's greatest soccer hero has caught a lot of flack since taking over the national team and leading them almost nowhere. But after dramatically securing a last-minute World Cup berth, he let loose with an epic kiss-my-ass tirade....
U.S. Striker Charlie Davies In Surgery After Serious Car Accident (UPDATE)
The national team's promising 23-year-old forward was apparently involved in this grim one-car accident along the George Washington Parkway, which ripped an SUV in half. One woman died at the scene. Davies' injuries are reportedly not life-threatening....
USA Wins FIFA!
Well, not really. But after a nailbiting 3-2 victory at Honduras, they are the first CONCACAF side to qualify for next summer's World Cup. Suck on that, Netherlands Antilles. [USSoccer.com]...
Of WAGs And Witchcraft
A Spanish "witch" came forward to say he was paid to put a curse on Cristiano Ronaldo, causing his recent ankle injury. Suspect number one in the Spanish press: a jilted Paris Hilton. [Sport]...