soccer Page 281 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Scottish Football Association Will Not Abide Your Pantomimed Oral Sex
The Scottish Football Association has banned players Barry Ferguson and Allan McGregor for making the shocking (SHOCKING!) hand gesture seen to your left. Who would've guessed the Scottish Football Association were such pussies? [Guardian]...
The Seattle Sounders Have Their First Sexual Assault Investigation
Here's an ad that was in the Seattle Times last month — and on the main page of its web site — featuring Seattle Sounders FC star forward Fredy Montero. Talk about unfortunate ad placement....
Just Some Of The Many Ways In Which America Is Ruining Soccer
"Yes, we blame you for the fact that our national stadium gives us few dining choices except stale hotdogs that cost the GDP of a small African nation." [The Spoiler]...
'Where's The Love?,' Asks Blogger Who Broke Green Death Email Story
Call this the story of how a Boston blogger broke the "Green Death Crazy Soccer Coach Email" story, yet somehow failed to get any credit for it....
Massachusetts Girls Soccer Coach Resigns Over Hilarious, Possibly Insane Email
If George Patton had coached a girls soccer team, he probably would have run things this way; only without so many references to red meat. Meet Michael Kinahan, ex-coach of the Scituate, Mass. Green Death....
Pele "Debuted" With A "Lad"
In response to attacks about his coaching ability, Argentine coach Diego Maradona says soccer legend Pele lost his virginity to a man. [Goal.com]...
Brazilian Soccer Players Are Pretty In Pink
Here we have one Jairo, a midfielder for the Brazilian club Figueirense, who has ... wait a minute. Isn't it a little early to be rolling out the spring wardrobe?...
You Should See The Lingerie Department
Say that you're a low-level pro soccer player in Italy, and a fashion designer offers to let you live in a luxury apartment for free. One catch: It's in the storefront window of a boutique....
Everybody Loves The Underdog
Fulham are leading Manchester United 1-0 at halftime. I'm told this is unexpected, but that's what they get for benching Rooney and Tevez. Scholes was sent off in the 18th minute for being old. [ESPN]...
Seattle Finally Gets Something To Cheer For
The brand-new Seattle Sounders won the first game of their first season to kick off the year for Major League Soccer. They will be relocating to Austin in June. [Seattle Times; pic via]...
Major League Soccer Needs A Better Calendar
The MLS regular season begins Thursday. This Thursday. The one day of the year when even the most clueless sports fans will do unconscionable things to avoid thinking about anything non-basketball related. [ESPN]...
Iraqi Soccer Player Murdered During A Game
An Iraqi striker was shot in the head by a spectator just as he was about to score a game-tying goal against a rival. Holy crap. [BBC]...
Streaker Fail: This Should About End This Activity, One Hopes
Not only was this streaker at an English association soccer match in Manchester subdued by a female security guard, but he was also mocked by the crowd for "severe shrinkage." Ouch. [Bury Times]...
Tall Order For Soccer-Playing Waitress
A 22-year-old waitress from Watsonville, Calif. with little playing experience is among tryout finalists for the FC Gold Pride, one of seven teams in the new Women's Professional Soccer league. [San Jose Mercury]...
Red Bull Gives You Product Placement
A German footballer gets in trouble for turning his goal celebration into an advertisement for Red Bull. Because advertising should only be done on jerseys, shoes, balls, fields, seats, every available blank space... [The Spoiler]...
What Wedding Is Complete Without Soccer Players And Owls?
So what's with the rash of Harry Potter-themed weddings among European soccer players? And where's my invitation, you stupid owl? [Deuce of Davenport]...
Goalie Uses Newfangled Gadget To Outfox Penalty Kickers
Manchester United won the Carling Cup last weekend in a dramatic(?) penalty shootout, but it turns out that goalie Ben Foster may have had some technological assistance....
The Cristiano Ronaldo Float Is Not Shy About Its Manhood
Portuguese soccer fans at Carnival celebrated Cristiano Ronaldo's ... um ... yep, I think that's an enormous ball hanging out of his shorts. NSFW, I guess? [Die Presse]...
Premier League Club Kindly Asks Its Fans To Keep The Noise Down
The English are legendary for their politeness, but this is ridiculous—below is a real letter that was sent by Middlesbrough FC to their own fans, scolding them for being too darn loud....