soccer Page 281 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Arsenal Fan Commits Suicide After Champions League Wipeout
A Kenyan soccer fan hung himself—in his Arsenal jersey—after his favorite team got thumped by Manchester United in the Champions League yesterday. That is not dealing well with defeat....

Is It Hot In Here Or Is My Head On Fire?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Mexican Soccer Player Red Carded For Swine Flu
Speaking of bold, unexpected strategies—Guadalajara defender Hector Reynoso has been banned from international competition because he spit and sneezed on opposing players and then told them he had swine flu....

The Deadspin Pub Celebrates El Clasico
Barcelona is on the road to face Real Madrid in El Clasico, the marquee match on this weekend's schedule. Plus a full slate of action in the English Premier League....

Feds Seize Brandi Chastain's Bra, Demand Ransom
If you want to see the bra alive again, leave $250 in unmarked bills at the enclosed location. No tricks. Bra will be shipped within 5-7 business days....

Welcome To Chandler Stadium (Please Wipe Feet Before Entering)
The Rochester Rhinos of the United Soccer League will name their stadium after you or your organization for a thousand bucks. Although like with CitiField, you may be bankrupt within the year. [Democrat And Chronicle]...

Brazilian Soccer Coach Pulls A Woody Hayes
Santilli's team was losing 1-0 on Sunday when he ran out on to the field to retrieve a loose ball, but as he returned to the sideline he decided to lower his shoulder into a player for the opposing team for no reason whatsoever. (Because he was brushed on the shoulder by a 60-year-old man, the playe...

Defeated Soccer Team Welcomed Home With Cheers, Death Threats
This Argentine squad arrived at their home airport after a rough 2-0 defeat to a Mexican team that knocked them out of a major international tournament, a loss so crushing that their manager resigned after the game. It was such a tough road environment that fans at the game in Mexico were chanting d...

How Does This Help Us Play Soccer Again?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

The Kiss Cam Makes The Ladies Wet
These happy, affectionate Hamburg fans are just minding their own business, grinning eerily, picking each other up, and sharing a kiss to celebrate their favorite team's goal against Manchester City, as is the German custom, when BAM - beer to the head. The German commitment to austerity is commenda...

Soccer Player Receives Yellow Card For Farting
A Chorlton Villa footballer "broke wind" during a penalty kick and received a yellow card for his efforts. (And the other team got a re-kick.) When did they change the "he who smelt it" rule? [BBC]...

The Scottish Football Association Will Not Abide Your Pantomimed Oral Sex
The Scottish Football Association has banned players Barry Ferguson and Allan McGregor for making the shocking (SHOCKING!) hand gesture seen to your left. Who would've guessed the Scottish Football Association were such pussies? [Guardian]...

The Seattle Sounders Have Their First Sexual Assault Investigation
Here's an ad that was in the Seattle Times last month — and on the main page of its web site — featuring Seattle Sounders FC star forward Fredy Montero. Talk about unfortunate ad placement....

Just Some Of The Many Ways In Which America Is Ruining Soccer
"Yes, we blame you for the fact that our national stadium gives us few dining choices except stale hotdogs that cost the GDP of a small African nation." [The Spoiler]...

'Where's The Love?,' Asks Blogger Who Broke Green Death Email Story
Call this the story of how a Boston blogger broke the "Green Death Crazy Soccer Coach Email" story, yet somehow failed to get any credit for it....

Massachusetts Girls Soccer Coach Resigns Over Hilarious, Possibly Insane Email
If George Patton had coached a girls soccer team, he probably would have run things this way; only without so many references to red meat. Meet Michael Kinahan, ex-coach of the Scituate, Mass. Green Death....

Pele "Debuted" With A "Lad"
In response to attacks about his coaching ability, Argentine coach Diego Maradona says soccer legend Pele lost his virginity to a man. [Goal.com]...

Brazilian Soccer Players Are Pretty In Pink
Here we have one Jairo, a midfielder for the Brazilian club Figueirense, who has ... wait a minute. Isn't it a little early to be rolling out the spring wardrobe?...

You Should See The Lingerie Department
Say that you're a low-level pro soccer player in Italy, and a fashion designer offers to let you live in a luxury apartment for free. One catch: It's in the storefront window of a boutique....