soccer Page 283 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Yeah, Give Him A Red Card. I Dare You
Ha, watch closely; about two minutes in, even the bull realizes that soccer is a dull game, and stops charging. He's thinking "getting maimed with swords is better than watching this."...

Ultimately, Tis Greed That Foils All Soccer Jersey Thieves
So you're the head equipment manager of a Serie A team, and decide to steal a few jerseys to sell on the black market. Who's going to notice if you take four or five ... or 2,000?...

No Cause For Alarm; Beckham Is Totally In Shape
"But during a training session with AC Milan, where he is currently on loan from LA Galaxy, Beckham was left gasping for breath and even had to have his pulse checked by a concerned medic." [Mail Online]...

Choose Your Weapon: It's Time For Soccer
Soccer is different in Britain. Over there, you show me a red card, I go home and get my sword. Or chainsaw or whatever's handy....

The Deadspin Pub Crawls Out of the Holiday Gutter
In which we provide today's convenient excuse to drink alone at 8:30 in the morning....

He Should've Married Homeland Security Spice
Beckham under terrorist threat in Dubai; Alexi Lalas sought....

Soccer: Only The Manliest Of Men Need Apply
OK, so we've had a good time this month making fun of soccer. But do we really think soccer is gay? No way. And this video only reinforces that belief....

Liverpool and Arsenal Take Center Stage
Rafa Benitez's Scousers of Liverpool are in London this morning for a clash at Emirates Stadium against Arsene Wenger and his Arsenal side that is always up for a big match. The Gunners have wins this season over Manchester United and Chelsea, however they still remain 8 points back of Liverpool who...

The Pigeon Had It Coming
The Deadspin Morning Video Wake Up Call needs your help. If you have any suggested videos to fill this space, email us. Subject: Morning Video Wake Up Call....

But We Have A Deal With The Pigeons!
Pigeon courageously stops shot from Argentina soccer star Gaston Aguirre. Quote: "I kicked the ball and, poor pigeon. Now I will be remembered as the pigeon killer." [Yahoo News]...

Maybe The Sprinklers Came On During The Match
Manchester United won't appeal the four-match ban against star Patrice Evra, levied for — get this — his fight with a groundskeeper. [Guardian.co.uk]...

Beckham Happens To Have The Kind Of Body That Excites Both Persuasions
I must admit that half the fun of this job is in reading the British tabloid headlines. Today's winner: AC Star: I'll Peek In Beck's Kecks....

Juve Beats Milan, Gets Dirty
Even if you don't particularly care for Italian soccer (raises hand) you can't deny the excitement of seeing Juventus winning a six goal affair over Milan. In a huge match that could go a long way to deciding which of these two sides will be able to challenge Inter for the league title. The Turin si...

The Deadspin Pub Heads Back to Spain
Once again the eyes of a soccer fans across the world will be on Spain as Barcelona and Real Madrid square off at Camp Nou in El Classico (Spanish for "huge fucking game")....

This Just In: Italian Soccer Steeped In Gayness
So big news recently if you're a fan of Italian soccer or gayness; a third-division player known only as 'Victory' has claimed that he has been paid for sex by 12 well-known Serie A stars, and that the encounters took place at the end of games in hotels and sometimes even in changing rooms....

Firing: Possible
Real Madrid fires coach Bernd Schuster after he publicly admits that it would be "impossible" for his team to beat rival Barcelona on Saturday. What ... was he wrong? [AP/Google]...

Goodbye Cruel Hexagon-Paneled World
I have threatened suicide many times — the music of Andrew Lloyd Webber is the chief culprit — but I can't imagine this. A soccer fan in Rio de Janeiro climbed to the top of a stadium roof and tried to jump off, all because his favorite team, Vasco de Gama, was going to be demoted from the first lea...

Italian Goal Celebrations Getting More Disturbing By The Minute
Italian Serie B forward Cristiano Lucarelli is no stranger to controversy; he's a fan of Che Guevera, and has been criticized for his frequent two-fisted communist salute goal celebrations. But that's nothing compared to what you'll see in the video below. The only way to describe it, I suppose, is ...

The Deadspin Pub Has Its Eyes On Spain
Match of the day: La Liga - Barcelona vs. Valencia at 4:00 on GolTV: The nation of Spain has gotten a bad rap around these parts in recent months for various instances of racism and cultural insensitivity, but of course they still have plenty to offer. Take for example today's match of the day, a La...

Cheeky Bloke Blags His Way To Footie Glory
I confess that I do not know a lot about soccer. Sure, I know some of the big names and will watch the occasional match in Spanish when flipping through obscure cable channels, but I don't pick up much of the nuance and detail that captivates the die hard enthusiast. So maybe some of the more enligh...