soccer Page 285 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Stupid European Soccer Fan Just Pawn In Game Of Life
Due to it's huge backlog of horse assault cases, the English town of Bolton is only now getting around to passing sentence on Stoke City fan Shaun Allen, who was arrested for punching a police horse after a soccer game in August. Allen was drinking with 15 fellow Stoke fans outside Reebok Stadium af...

Look, I Haz Invizibul Handcuffs
Although there are nearly two months remaining, I'm closing nominations for Deadspin Asshat of the Year, European Division. With 80 percent of the precincts reporting, I'm calling the election for, Ipswich Town midfielder David Norris (applause). Norris is shown here making a "handcuff" gesture afte...

Hey, My Celebration Looked A Lot Like That
Michael Bertin writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin. There's only one person to blame for ruining Arsenal's 2-1 victory over United on Saturday: Wolfgang Puck. The catering arm of his food empire served the conference I was at last Thursday, the pains in my stomach a couple of hours after lun...

Caution: This Man Is Not 100 Percent Pure Beef
You may know Dave Wasser as the world's foremost collector of North American Soccer League game tapes (who doesn't?). But there is much, much more to the Austin, TX resident than that; he's a true Renaissance man. Just look at the photo above, and when your realize that he's not one of the chicks, i...

Salma Hayek Gets Stood Up For Ball-Juggling Lesson
Salma Hayek got a good priice for David Beckham, compared to what MLS paid for the British soccer star. All Selma's waiting for now is Becks to come through with a soccerball juggling lesson she paid for during a charity auction. One problem, Beckham has left for Europe, and nobody knows if he's ev...

The Deadspin Pub Is Up Early For Manchester-Arsenal
There's no questioning what the match of the weekend is this time around as two of England's big four meet at Emirates Stadium at a crucial point in the year. The Red Devils are clearly the team in form while the Gunners will be forced to go without the services of Emanuel Adebayor (injury) and Robi...

Chicago Fans Remain Classy Even When It Comes To Soccer
I'm not sure whether this represents a particular disdain for ESPN, or if Chicago fans just enjoy flipping the bird in general ... I'm guessing the latter. One thing we do know: The time of Boston sports dominance really does appear to be over. As I'm sure you're aware, Chicago beat New England on T...

No, I Give YOU The Yellow Card!
There has to be some way to get Andre Luis to the U.S., get him in a Dallas Cowboys ... or better yet, Cincinnati Bengals, uniform, and sit back and watch the fun. Here's my favorite video of the week so far, which shows the Botafogo defender objecting to receiving a yellow card in the Copa Sudameri...

Ohhh, Direct Hit! Soccer Player Down!
It's never been rocket science to be a European soccer fan, until now. These people are now armed with the latest technology. Here is Linfield's Conor Hagan being hit in the back with a rocket, just after his team's 2-1 loss to Cliftonville in the County Antrim Shield soccer final at Windsor Park in...

Soccer Historian Keeps Long-Abandoned Hope Alive
Are you now or have you ever been affiliated with the North American Soccer League? If so, you can stop boring your friends with tales of late-'70s "cleat parties" and actually do something useful. Like contacting NASL superfan Dave Wasser, who is amassing the world's largest collection of game tape...

The Church Of Maradona Makes Baby Jesus Cry
Most often-asked question by first-time visitors to the Church of Maradona: Is that a soccer ball with a crown of thorns? Why yes, it is. This holy procession honoring the Argentine soccer great also includes a replica World Cup trophy and a church with a tiny soccer ball steeple bell. No way this c...

Meet Argentina's New National Soccer Coach (Burp!)
I see no possible way this ends badly. Argentina, which has been sent home ignominiously from the past four World Cup soccer tournaments, has turned to its largest celebrity in terms of land mass to return the nation to its glorious past. Diego Maradona, considered by many to be the greatest soccer ...

See Look, I Can Still Blow Even In Such A Puffy Coat
Michael Bertin writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin So I was Superman for Halloween. And, once in costume, I had this great idea, I would start flying from east to west really, really fast. That would reverse the spin of the Earth and time would start moving backwards. I'd go until Wednesday—...

Spurs do Everyone a Favor, The Big Four Are Back In Place
Good God, you go and get drunk on Halloween and by the time you remember where you are you realize that Chelsea is back on top of the table thanks to Tottenham's humbling of Liverpool. In fact the entire big four of the English Premier League now sit in the top four positions for the first time this...

Yeah, I Have A Hard Time Keeping My Eyes Open Too Ashley
Michael Bertin writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin. Liverpool fans must still be over the fucking moon today. A 1-0 win over Chelsea, giving their 86 game home winning streak the, well, 86, and moving atop the table. And I'm not not going to pee on the Reds' parade. I should if only because ...

The Deadspin Pub: Featuring The EPL's Top Two
There's really nothing that needs to be said. Keeley Hazel just looks hotter in the beautiful blue of Chelsea. Oh, and Chelsea happens to be hosting Liverpool with first place atop the English Premier League's table at stake after nearly a quarter of the season. The Scousers and Blues have each rac...

The Deadspin Pub Opens Early This Morning
Holy crap, don't these Brits know we're trying to sleep over here. I'm jetlagged and there's know way in hell I'm waking up at the crack of dawn to watch the Red Devils. But still, it's a pretty good game, so I'll probably be arriving at my couch in about an hour. If you are up for the early match ...

A Perfectly Reasonable Way To Solve A Dispute At A Youth Soccer Game
Just what's the point of having a concealed weapons permit if you can't pull your handgun on your child's soccer coach in a dispute over playing time? That's what 25-year-old Tye Burke of Lubbock, Texas is wondering today following the Saturday incident. Well, actually it was the female coach's husb...

Why We Love Soccer: The Long, Impossible Circus-Like Goals
At first I figured this had to be one of those doctored Gatorade commercials, like the one in which the ball girl climbed the outfield fence for a foul ball at a minor league baseball game. But no, apparently it's real. Here's New York Red Bulls rookie goalie Danny Cepero following his 81-yard goal ...

We Win League By This Much, Yes?
Michael Bertin writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin. The league is over. I'm not so sure I believe it, but it's fun to make mildly outrageous predictions just over a fifth the way through the season. It's also really easy. Watch: "Chelsea have won the league." Piece of poundcake. Plus, if I'm...