soccer Page 45 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Two Russian National Team Players In Trouble For Racist Chair Attack On Government Official
The professional careers of Russian soccer players Aleksandr Kokorin and Pavel Mamaev appear to be on the ropes after the pair was filmed beating up a man with a chair in a Moscow cafe....
The USWNT Looks As Good As Ever And Is Rolling Toward The World Cup
CARY, N.C. — How are we not talking about this team all the time? Sustained dominance is easy to take for granted, sure. And as far as it has come in recent decades soccer still isn’t close to leading the sports conversation in the USA. These are answers, and they aren’t wrong, but they mostly evade...
José Mourinho Is Cornered
Usually when Manchester United manager José Mourinho—who has been presiding over a plummeting team full of star players who hate him—is backed up against a wall of his own failings, he reacts by talking some insane and/or defensive shit or by storming away in anger. In his pre-match press conference...
Woman Who Accused Cristiano Ronaldo Of Rape Tells Her Full Story, Seeks To Void Settlement<em></em>
Last year, German magazine Der Spiegel unearthed documents that revealed an out-of-court settlement from 2010 between international soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo and an anonymous American woman who had accused Ronaldo of raping her in a Las Vegas hotel room. Today, that woman has cast aside that ano...
David Beckham Avoids Speeding Ticket Thanks To "Mr. Loophole" Lawyer<em></em>
Instead of paying a speeding ticket like a normal person might, David Beckham opted to plead not guilty and take this thing to court. There, his slick lawyer—known by British media as “Mr. Loophole”—got him off on a technicality, the BBC reported. ...
Restructured United Soccer League Apes Everything British, Except For What Matters
The levels of the American soccer pyramid are confusing, mostly because they are make-believe. Every level of the world’s real soccer pyramids are clearly numbered, linked with flights of stairs, and constantly shuffle teams up and down depending on the results of a clear and meritocratic process. A...
![Giuseppe Rossi Faces One-Year Ban After Failed Doping Test [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/sgoqrmndv4jbkpbqn5zr.jpg)
Giuseppe Rossi Faces One-Year Ban After Failed Doping Test [Update]
Here we have the latest depressing update on the great and greatly unlucky career of American-born Italian phenom, Giuseppe Rossi: The striker has tested positive for a banned substance in Italy and faces a one-year ban from the game....
Bad Soccer Men Try And Thankfully Fail To Beat The Hell Out Of Referee
A soccer match from earlier this month between Indonesian clubs Persegres Gresik United and Persiwa Wamena exploded into chaos when a few players who took issue with a controversial penalty call sought to communicate their dissatisfaction to the ref by beating his ass:...
Cristiano Ronaldo's Sister On Red Card: "They Want To Destroy My Brother, But God Never Sleeps"
Cristiano Ronaldo’s sister Katia Aveiro, who previously said that people who vandalized a statue of her brother on their home island of Madeira should be exiled to Syria, has defended her brother on social media again. This time, she did so after he was sent off in Juventus’s Champions League match...
Ousmane Dembélé Isn't Perfect For Barcelona, But He Is What They Need
It still isn’t entirely clear if Ousmane Dembélé truly fits in at Barcelona. He doesn’t seem to have level of technical mastery and precision required to thrive in Barcelona’s traditional playing style, and it’s yet to be determined whether it would be wise or even possible for him or Barça alter th...
Cristiano Ronaldo Sent Off In Tears After Softest Red Card Ever
In his first Champions League match with Juventus, Cristiano Ronaldo was sent off in the 29th minute for what looked like patting (maybe forcefully patting?) Valencia defender Jeison Murillo on the head, after Murillo went down in the box. I’m no Ronaldo super fan, but that has to be the most ridicu...
Michael Bradley Might As Well Retire After Zlatan Ibrahimović Ethered Him
Zlatan Ibrahimović scored what might have been the greatest goal of his life last Saturday in the L.A. Galaxy’s game against Toronto FC. Somehow, that goal—the 500th of his career—might not have been the most ruthless thing he did that day....
Liverpool Righteously Owned PSG In A Champions League Classic
The first classic match of the new Champions League season came on the first day of the competition. Liverpool-PSG had everything: superstar forwards on both sides of the ball, anarchic attacks flying up and down the pitch, several goals, a wounded dick, and, maybe most importantly, a heart-stopping...
Wonderteen Christian Pulisic, Who Is Now A Wonderman, Scores Winner On 20th Birthday
Christian Pulisic turned 20 years old today, which means he is no longer the Wonderteen we have all known and loved, but instead a full-grown Wonderman. He showed his newfound maturity by scoring the lone goal and winner for Borussia Dortmund in the 85th minute of their Champions League opener again...
Mauro Icardi's Gut-Punch Volley Made Tottenham Puke All Over Themselves
Even in this new Mauricio Pochettino era of success, Spurs haven’t fully cured their Spursiness. Over the past few years Tottenham have been at their most Spursy in the Champions League, and today’s tournament-opening match against Inter was no exception....
It's Now Or Never For Eden Hazard
Right now, Eden Hazard resides in perplexing plane of existence all his own. The boundaries of this plane are fuzzy and indefinite, but the simplest way to prove its unmistakable presence might be to consider the following question: Has Hazard been a disappointment?...
Dimitri Payet Is Still Alive And Kicking The Bejesus Out Of Soccer Balls
Remember when Dimitri Payet came to the Premier League a few years ago, immediately set the world on fire by single-handedly transforming West Ham into must-see TV with his gasp-inducing talent and irrepressible flair, and then jilted all those new fans he’d earned right when we were starting to get...
Spain Clobbered Croatia And Should Be Mad As Hell About It
World Cup failures Spain took on World Cup runners-up Croatia yesterday in a match in the new and sort of confusing UEFA Nations League. You might not totally get what the Nations League is (here’s a quick primer) but there are some things you should know about the Spain-Croatia match itself: 1) it ...
Matt Miazga Adds Insult To Injury By Mocking Diego Lainez's Height In USMNT Victory
The USMNT beat Mexico in an international friendly Tuesday night, 1–0, on a second-half goal from teenager Tyler Adams. You want to see the goal. Fine. Here is the goal, you demanding jerk:...
France's World Cup Celebration Party Was Wonderfully Joyous
Yesterday, France beat the Netherlands in a fairly meaningless international match. While the match itself didn’t matter, it did have the distinction of being the first time the French national team had returned to their home stadium since this summer’s glorious World Cup victory. To commemorate the...