soccer Page 94 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
FIFA Continues Its Plot To Ruin The World Cup
Here are some descriptors that come to mind when thinking about the current format of the World Cup, the greatest sporting event on the planet: perfect, simple, just-the-right-size, well-designed, riveting. Here are some words that will soon come to be associated with the World Cup after greedy-ass ...
Premier League Owners Ask For Post-Brexit Protection For Player Immigration
English Premier League club owners are requesting that the government work to ensure that their teams are not put at a competitive disadvantage with the country’s upcoming departure from the European Union. ...
Reporter Embarrasses Himself And America At Bastian Schweinsteiger Press Conference
As an American soccer fan, this video of an oblivious reporter quite confidently asking Bastian Schweinsteiger, new to MLS’s Chicago Fire, whether Chicago can be expected to win the goddamn World Cup is almost too painful to sit through....
Sculptor Of Cristiano Ronaldo Bust: I, Like Jesus, Can't Please Everyone<em></em>
If art is supposed to be provocative, to generate questions and discussion and interest, then the bust of Cristiano Ronaldo unveiled outside the airport now named after him was a rousing success, even if it completely failed as an accurate representation of what Ronaldo actually looks like. You know...
Messi Says He Didn't Direct Insult At The Referee, But "At The Air"
The best player in the world and slight potty mouth Lionel Messi is appealing the four-match ban that was handed down by FIFA yesterday after he yelled at a referee in Argentina’s 1-0 World Cup qualifier win over Chile last week. Messi says he didn’t direct his insult, “la concha de tu madre,” a com...
If You Want A Slow-Motion Replay Of Séamus Coleman's Leg Snapping, Here It Is
The director in charge of the Ireland-Wales match last Friday decided against showing a replay of Neil Taylor’s nasty challenge that wound up snapping Séamus Coleman’s leg, and for good reason. Now that we do have access to the slow-motion replay, we wish we never had seen the injury in such terribl...
Cristiano Ronaldo Honored With Hideous Bust That May Be Imbued With Dark Magic
The eyes! For the love of god, do not look into the eyes!...
It Wasn't Pretty, But The USMNT Did What They Needed To Do
A full, complete highlight reel from the USMNT’s 1-1 draw with Panama this evening is as follows:...
Wonderteen Christian Pulisic Undresses A Pair Of Defenders, Serves Up Opening Goal
This evening’s USMNT-Panama match was soggy, goalless, and uneventful for the first 39 minutes, until America’s greatest teenager, Christian Pulisic, owned a pair of experienced Panamanian defenders and put an easy assist on a platter for Clint Dempsey. Felipe Baliy and Roman Torres are two of Panam...
Bruce Arena Has Some Dumb Ideas About Who Created Christian Pulisic<em></em>
Jurgen Klinsmann was an arrogant jerk with a penchant for demoralizing his players and pissing off powerful executives in the American soccer scene with his lofty ideas about how to shake up American soccer as it has been—a culture that consistently puts out a motley crew of under-talented overachie...
Alexis Sánchez Steps Up And Bashes In A Perfect Free Kick
Chile need to beat Venezuela today to keep pace in CONMEBOL’s final 2018 World Cup qualifying round and they got off to a perfect start this afternoon, scoring three times in the first 22 minutes. Alexis Sánchez hadn’t had a great weekend leading up to the game (he got popped for a speeding ticket) ...
FIFA Suspends Lionel Messi Four Matches For Yelling At Referee
FIFA handed Lionel Messi a four-match suspension from international play today in response to an incident after last week’s Argentina-Chile match when Messi was seen insulting a referee. With only five matches left in a World Cup Qualifying process in which Argentina have struggled, there is a very ...
Alexis Sanchez Looks Like An Adorable Little Baby In His License Photo
Over the weekend, two days after Chile’s 1-0 World Cup qualifier loss to Argentina and three days before their must-win qualifier against Venezuela, star striker Alexis Sanchez was fined for driving 96 mph (155 kph) near Santiago, Chile, according to Chilean website EMOL. His court date has reported...
Fearless Goalkeeper Stares Down Four-On-One Attack, Comes Up With Heroic Save
Argentine club Belgrano’s keeper probably should’ve been terrified with four River Plate players bearing down on him with no help in sight, but instead he went all “NAH FUCK THAT” and stood up brave and tall and psyched out the attackers, somehow saving a goal and earning the glory. ...
The Christian Pulisic Era Has Officially Begun
If there was a single aspect of the USMNT’s exhilarating, thoroughly commanding 6-0 crushing of Honduras in last Friday’s critical World Cup qualifier that was less than perfect, it was at least one outside the purview of everyone involved....
Albania Rebukes Fans For Throwing Flares And Smoke Bombs During Match Against Italy
The Albanian soccer federation has denounced a group of fans who threw flares and smoke bombs during yesterday’s World Cup qualifying match against Italy, suspending play for several minutes. The match was stopped for nine minutes in the second half and both teams were sent off as one end of the pit...
Five-Hole Howler For Belarusian Keeper
Sweden is having an easy time of it against Belarus—the Swedes are up 4-0, at the moment—but Belarusian keeper Andrey Gorbunov isn’t helping things. Here’s Emil Forsberg knocking one in for Sweden’s second goal of the match—also completing a brace for the Leipzig man—right through Gorbunov’s wicket....
Deuce Magic
The U.S. is currently beating Honduras 6-0 in a World Cup qualifier, and half of the goals belong to Clint Dempsey. Here’s his hat trick-clincher—and we don’t mean to slight any of the other goals, many of which were absolutely marvelous and involved Pulisic—but this is a free kick that was absolute...
Ireland's Seamus Coleman Gets His Leg Snapped By Welsh Defender In World Cup Qualifier
Ireland defender Seamus Coleman was stretchered off the field during a World Cup qualifying match against Wales today, after a flying tackle by Welsh defender Neil Taylor appeared to snap his leg. Taylor was immediately issued a red card. ...
Christian Pulisic Is Not The Next Landon Donovan
In the leadup to the U.S. men’s national team’s critical World Cup qualifier tonight against Honduras, the usual and deserved attention has been predictably focused on Christian Pulisic, who, if you somehow still need an introduction, is the young American phenom lighting it up for Borussia Dortmund...