sons Page 38 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Kids With The Ole Miss Stolen Laptop Write A Thank You To Whomever
Yesterday, the story of the two Ole Miss students who had their laptops stolen over the weekend only to find them mysteriously returned in shrubbery with a note attached decided to follow-through with a public thank you to the anonymous good samaritan....
Ole Miss Students Have Laptops Stolen, Mom Of Young Thief Writes Cryptic Apology Letter To Them
I don't know what to make of this odd letter that came to us today. The email it was attached to gives some more of the zany details and, if it's true, it's remarkably fucked up....
Retiring Beer League Softball Commish Would Like To Thank Himself For All His Hard Work And Dedication
Lucky for us and our readers, half of all intramural sports participants join up just to get in touch with their inner asshole. I suspect that most of these individuals are tolerable for most of the day, but once they throw on a T-shirt with a number on the back something changes inside them. Like t...
The Knicks Come Home
Your morning roundup for April 25, the day that we were just five days away from ceasing to hear about wedding plans for people none of us know....
Stop Your Judgmental Infield Chatter While I Handle The Pill, Softball Pitcher Pleads
Here's another overwrought email sent to a company softball team wherein one rookie pitcher had himself a tough outing. For some reason this young fireballer also ended up in a dugout scrap with one of his teammates who started heckling about his performance. Then, of course, he felt compelled to wr...
Caps Coach Calls MSG Facilities "Horrible," Is Correct
The Washington Capitals were at Madison Square Garden last night for a 3-2 loss to the Rangers, and they'll play again on Wednesday evening. Head coach Bruce Boudreau would rather they didn't have to. He went on the The Kirk McEwen and Mike O'Meara Morning Show on D.C.'s "The Edge" this morning to...
Surly Flag Football Coach Needs Team To Learn How To "Grab A Fucking Flag And Pull It Off." STAT
I can't get enough of the unhinged fuckery that exists in adult recreational sports. Like this flag football coach, who has had it with his team's uninspired performances right before the playoffs. That can't happen if you play for this coach (of flag football) if you want to be champions (of flag ...
Soccer Rec League Captain Works Harder Than You And Has The Sweaty Email To Prove It
I've noticed most of these rec league emailers possess a trait and that, due to some tic beyond their control, they need to verbalize their small victories in order to make sure people are paying attention. Because at their stations in life, the only worthwhile accolade can come from a teammate sma...
Intense Man Sends Email Apology To Rec Softball Team, Girlfriend For Being Too Intense
Although it isn't kickball and isn't bitchy in the least bit, this next overwrought email is a beauty. This one hails from the Rocky Mountains, where one 35-year-old man part-time subbed in for his his girlfriend's intramural softball team. He always took the games more seriously than most but after...
Another Bitchy Email Over Rec League Kickball Surfaces
This time a lady kickballstress from a Florida league is the one who unloads on her lazy teammates. She doesn't need stats to call out the bumbling stooges on her squad because she can see who's playing "vigilant" defense out there with her own eyes and she'll let them hear it if they're not playing...
Kickball Rec League Captain Sends Out Fantastically Bitchy Email To His Underperforming Team
An Atlanta-area kickball team recently suffered a demoralizing 20-0 loss. Yes, we're familiar with how serious some people are about their kickball and it's never fun to get blown out. However, if you have to play with this fun lovin' bunch of sad-sacks it's still inexcusable to go all Earl Weaver ...
Fulham's Michael Jackson Statue Is More Frightening Than The Balloon Creatures From "The Wiz"
Fans of EPL team Fulham knew this day was coming for a little while. But, were they prepared for what greeted them at Craven Cottage today?...
The Florida Basketball Team Has No Comment On Premarital Sex
A reporter for the Orlando Sentinel attended the Florida Gators' press conference yesterday to ask Billy Donovan and Chandler Parsons about premarital sex, and then he wrote nearly 800 words about how the BYU honor code "lifted college athletics up." Donovan passed on the question — "How hard woul...
Watch Kemba Walker Shatter Multiple Ankles And Then Hit The Game-Winner Against Pitt
Kemba Walker came home to New York City to play every minute and record 24 points, 5 boards, and 5 assists in UConn's 76-74 win over Pittsburgh this afternoon. Here's a look at Walker's deadly step-back jumper. I'm willing to bet that Jim Calhoun has never before jumped so high....
Bill Simmons, Malcolm Gladwell, And The Dirty Secret Of The MIT Sports Analytics Conference
The Joke That Started It All Shortly after 9 a.m. Friday, in a big gray conference room in a big gray convention center, 1,500 people—mostly white, mostly male, mostly clad in business suits—roar with laughter. Jeff Van Gundy, the former Knicks and Rockets coach and current ESPN analyst, has just cr...
Women Surfers Shouldn't Be Judged By The Beauty Of Their Skin, But By Their Talent On The Board
Your morning roundup for March 6, a day of toeing the "No shark's fin soup, you're cheap" classist line....
MSG Demands New Yorkers Get Emotional About Carmelo's Not-Really Homecoming
The New York Knicks will officially introduce Carmelo Anthony with a press conference at 5:00 p.m. today, and he'll suit up against the Bucks two hours later. The hype has been sufficiently hyped: a bargain StubHub ticket is currently about $170 for a Mezzanine Corner seat. Not to be left out, the...
"You Have To Accept My Pain": An Interview With Dave Duerson Three Months Before His Suicide
On Nov. 27, I spent an hour on the phone with former Pro Bowl defensive back Dave Duerson. It had been seven years since his mother's death and 364 days since his father's burial, and the following day he would celebrate his 50th birthday. Less than three months later, he sent some text messages to ...
O.J. Simpson Didn't Really Get Beaten Silly By A White Supremacist After All
The purported word coming from Nevada's Lovelock Correctional Center today had all the makings of a Rockwellian portrait painted by the would've-been U.S. Rep. Rich Iott of Ohio. Accused murderer and convicted armed-robber Orenthal James Simpson got beaten so badly by a young skinhead in the prison...
Last Night's Winner: The Taste Of Sports Fans When It Comes To Justin Bieber
The Bieb showed up at the Knicks game last night, and as celebrities are wont to do, was put up on the Jumbotron. The New York crowd's reaction was overwhelmingly boos. Glorious, glorious boos....