sos Page 22 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Exclusive: Tyler Palko Is Not Working At A Shoe Store In South Dakota
NESN.com published a report on Thursday that said Tyler Palko, the former Kansas City Chiefs quarterback, was now working at a shoe store in Aberdeen, S.D. The source of this extraordinary news was Wikipedia, and NESN.com helpfully added this:...
This Movie About Whales Raising A Future Olympic Swimmer Needs To Get Made Immediately
Great movie idea or greatest movie idea? The Hollywood Reporter has the exclusive details:...
What's The Deal With All These White Computers?
As my local Starbucks continues to flow with disgusting burnt coffee, the computer world is full of greedy racists. Not much going on this weekend, so, I was just sitting in my local Starbucks looking around when it struck me: what is the deal with all these white computers? And why do I have to pay...
Local Virgins Say Tim Tebow May Be Able To Remain A Virgin In New York, Reports <em>NYT</em>
The sports section of today's New York Times busied itself with yet another important journalism project on the topic of Tim Tebow's virginity. Tebow himself, however, was "unavailable for comment," so Times writer Bob Tedeschi did the next most logical thing: He tracked down a handful of young NYC...
Specially Contoured Jeans Designed To Combat Scourge Of "Hockey Ass"
So, here's a real product you can buy that I never thought warranted existence. The hockey apparel-minded folks at Gongshow announced this one back in January, but it has just released its new Hustle & Flow jeans, an otherwise ordinary-looking pair of pants that serve a very specific purpose. We'll ...
Women's Gymnastics Team Teaches Jenna Bush How To Dougie Like A Gold Medalist
I guess when you're the Team USA women's gymnastics squad and you've just completed an incredible run through the team and individual competitions, you're allowed some free time to just hang around London, chill out on the roof of a double-decker bus, and teach one of George W. Bush's daughters ho...
The Hottest Corporate Officers At Turner, New Owners Of Bleacher Report: A Slideshow
It finally happened! Today brings official word that Bleacher Report has been purchased by Turner Broadcasting for a cool $175 million. We feel like this calls for another celebratory slideshow. Allow us to present to you Turner Broadcasting's hottest corporate officers....
"Men Throwing Rocks With The Other Hand" Is Just Super
This video: sort of old. But we saw it on Kottke, and couldn't resist sharing it. What happens when you get a bunch of guys to chuck rocks with their weak arms? Hypnotic. Cathartic. Non-dominant....
Here Is A Perfectly Ordinary Graphic From Fox Sports Ohio
It was sent to us by a reader named Steve, who insists it says more than what it was designed to say. I mean, it's just the logos of the four teams with the best records in baseball, in order, from left to right. No, really. Click the image to enlarge it so you can see those records for yourself. It...
Animal Care Worker Accidentally Killed Louisiana Tech's Bulldog Mascot, Then Tried To Cover It Up
Accidents happen, that's part of life, nothing you can do about it. Sometimes, you even forget to bring inside the beloved bulldog mascot of a major university and the bulldog in question dies of heatstroke. Should you ever find yourself in such a predicament, do not try to cover up the crime....
Will Foursquare Take Down Joe Paterno Statue Check-In?
As Rodney Erickson struggles with the most important decision ever in the history of Penn State, we're left to wonder when will foursquare tear down its Joe Paterno Statue check-in. As everyone knows, the foursquare page has become the symbol of this social media statuary controversy and emotions a...
Here Is The Most Insane Review Of <em>The Dark Knight Rises</em> You Will Ever Read
Do you remember those kids in your college literature course who were the absolute worst during discussions? The ones who would make completely off-the-wall statements about even the most straightforward pieces of literature. The ones who would say shit like, "Actually, I think Bartleby The Scriven...
Every Winner Of The Ernest Hemingway Look-Alike Contest, In Descending Order Of How Much They Look Like Ernest Hemingway
Every year, on the third Saturday in July, Sloppy Joe's Bar in Key West hosts the Hemingway Look-Alike Society's Hemingway Look-Alike Contest. The 2012 champion will be named tomorrow. We went through 31 years of winners, and ranked them all on how much they look like Ernest Hemingway, starting with...
Here Is The Inevitable Photo Of Pedobear Posing Alongside The Joe Paterno Statue
The attached photo was snapped and sent into us by an anonymous tipster. Yes, that is a person in a Pedobear costume standing mockingly next to the Paterno statue. We present it to you without further comment, although we are rather impressed with the lighting....
New Statistics Unveiled, Oddibe McDowell Likely a Hall Of Famer
The fine folks at baseball-reference have this to offer, just below "transactions" and "salaries" on Oddibe McDowell's player page. Don't get too excited though, as with any new stat, only time will tell if the information is complete and accurate, so be sure to read the fine print....
Your Kids Will Love Playing "Human Bowling Ball," The Most Insane Backyard Game Ever
It costs $4,500, it's easy to set up, and it lets you live out your American Gladiators-induced dreams of riding around inside a giant ball, wreaking havoc on your surroundings. It's called the Human Bowling Ball, and it's basically a giant, inflatable bowling game that lets you (the ball) knock dow...
Throwing A Baseball At 90 Percent Speed Of Light Would Kill Thousands
The artistically inclined folks over at XKCD (authors of one of my favorite web comics ever) devoted one of their What If? segments today to the logically insane yet weirdly interesting scenario of what would happen if someone pitched a baseball at 90 percent the speed of light. Using actual science...
What If Joe Paterno Was Innocent? Hypothetical Dialogues From A Dark Time At Penn State
Circumstantially, the Jerry Sandusky case keeps getting worse and worse for Joe Paterno. Circumstantially. This past weekend, CNN described an email that Penn State's now-former athletic director, Tim Curley, allegedly sent to other university officials in 2001, canceling plans to report Sandusky to...
Tony La Russa Explains Decision Not To Put Johnny Cueto On All-Star Team By Admitting To Violating MLB CBA
Uh oh, we got ourselves a scandal, or something. Cincinnati Reds manager Dusty Baker and former St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony La Russa have never been especially fond of each other. Their relationship got even testier over the weekend when La Russa, who was in charge of making final selections f...
MLB Announces Starting Lineups For 83rd All-Star Game, Fans Everywhere Pissed
The MLB announced the starters for this year's midsummer exhibition-game-that-is-not-really-an-exhibition-game-because-home-field-advantage-is-inexplicably-awarded-to-the-league-that-wins-this-exhibition-game. That means it's time for everyone to gripe about how Player X should have been a starter ...