sox Page 67 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your Marco Scutaro Summer Jam Is Here
"Scuscuscutaro" has dropped and, as far as Phil Collins song parodies about journeymen shortstops go, it's excellent — streets ahead of that Pavement album about Jeff Hornacek. H/T BullfightsOnAcid....

Professional Sports Reaches Its Apogee: Drunken Little Person Berates Red Sox Fan
What's the only thing better than an intoxicated Rays fan — who happens to be a little person — threatening to fight a fat Red Sox fan? When somebody catches it on video....

Aural Secs: David Ortiz's 30-Second Tater Trot Explained With Music
In honor of David Ortiz's Roger Bannister moment last night, an Aural Secs is in order. Unlike frequent Aural Secs subject Usain Bolt, Ortiz is quite slow, so we're going with the final chord in "A Day In The Life."...

Fat-Ass Baseball Players Get Their Roger Bannister Moment
Per Wezen-Ball's wonderful Tater Trot Tracker, David Ortiz rounded the bases after yesterday's solo shot in 30.59 seconds, a new record by nearly eight-tenths of a second. Yes, mankind has at last shattered the 30-second barrier. [Wezen-Ball]...

Basebrawl Season Is In Full Swing
Thursday's Angels-White Sox game at U.S. Cellular Field featured two things you often see on the South Side these days: a White Sox loss, and a bunch of White Sox fans beating the shit out of each other. H/T BullFightsOnAcid...

Last Night's Winner: Boston Self-Pity
In sports everyone's a winner — some just win better than others. Like Boston pity-partiers ready to commemorate their return to being sad-sacks after a glorious run of over-confidence....

The Curious Case Of Jason Bay's Defense
Boston chose not to re-sign Jason Bay, in part, based on his below average defensive metrics. Well, the problem with UZR is that no one really knows how to calculate it; in the latest version, Bay's an above average outfielder....

Sexy White Sox Bathroom Sex Horror Story Brought To Life Through Magic Of CGI
The story of Dr. Paul Nemeth inadvertently bringing his 6 year-old son to a live sex show at a White Sox game was the stuff of speculation. It left many questions unanswered, like "Did anyone throw their pants Mean Joe Green style?"...

Boston Fan Finally Picks A Winner
After a sweep three straight losses at the hands of Tampa Bay, the Red Sox fall into fourth in the AL East. The Boston media may be panicking, but at least one fan appears to have struck gold....

99 Problems, Of Which Brand Infringement Is One
Jay-Z, owner of the 40/40 Club chain, is suing slugger David Ortiz for allegedly swiping the 40/40 name for his own club in the Dominican Republic, called "Forty Forty," an apparent reference to a baseball achievement no one associates with David Ortiz....

The Boston Red Sox Will Brand Your Baby
"Every baby" born at Boston's Beth Israel will be indoctrinated into Red Sox Nation, whether you like it or not. The "Red Sox Babies" package includes hat, tote, and a lifetime of insufferability. [Beth Israel, "Benbino" pic via]...

Chicago Has A History Of Stadium Bathroom Stall Sex
John Kass's harrowing tale of Dr. Nemeth and his son—who had their Sox Opening Day ruined by a couple in Windy City heat—prompted one reader to send along his video of a post-coital couple at Wrigley from 2007....

Shameless Couple Having Bathroom Sex Tarnishes Another Sports Stadium
Since one horny couple decided to sully Cowboys Stadium with their filthy, filthy bathroom sex last September, there haven't been many other drive-by humping incidents ruining sporting events. Until now. The Chicago Tribune's John Kass has the terrifying story....

Yankees Logo On Boston Landmark? Well...
It certainly looked like the interlocking NY was writ large on the side of the Prudential Center last night....

Welcome To Baseball Season!
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Ozzie Guillen's Apple Did Not Fall Far From The Tree
The manager's 24-year-old son, Oney, "resigned" from the White Sox video department because of his rogue Twitter account, but his mom cleared it all up with the GM. It's gonna be a good year on the South Side. [FoxSports/Sun-Times/Yahoo; Pic]...

Chicago White Sox: Non-Performance Is No Indicator Of Future Results
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Chicago White Sox....

Disgraced Human Mascot Sleeping With The Enemy
"God Bless America" singer and Yankees good luck charm Ronan Tynan, who had to move out of New York after allegedly making anti-Semitic remarks, has swapped pinstripes for a Red Sox jersey. Can they take Giuliani too? [NECN]...

Boston Fans To Pay For Right To Buy Drinks
Ah, the good old days when the creeping menace of seat licenses were only confined to actual sporting events. Not anymore, thanks to Jerry Remy's new sports bar, and its $500 season passes....

Last Night's Winner: The Boston Yankees
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like ad sales software that scored another big success for targeted online marketing campaigns. Because who needs Yankee tickets more than the people of Boston?...