speed Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Niche Sports Romance Goes All Soap Opera
Olympic speed-skater Joey Cheek dumped billionaire heiress Georgina Bloomberg (NYC's mayor's daughter) while she was in the hospital recovering from a show-jumping accident. Concussion, fractured vertebra, broken heart. [NY Post]...

Monkeys Will Sell Programs, Hear Complaints About Jobs At Today's NASCAR Race
Their names are Rocky and Miki and they're the size of your average housecat. From noon until 2 p.m., they'll be selling souvenir programs at Texas Motor Speedway....

An Open Letter To Soccer Player Charlie Davies (With Afternoon Update)
Charlie, What the fuck are you doing? Listen, more than most people, I get how surviving near-death incidents involving cars can change a person. It makes you grateful each morning when you wake up....

Tyreke Evans Feels, Exploits the Need for Speed
Ignore the timeline: Coach K's refusal to allow Tyreke Evans to represent his country in the FIBA World Championships (July 28) is directly to blame for the Rookie of the Year's 120-plus mph Cali Cannonball Run (May 31)....

Texas Speedway Honors 87-Year-Old Benefactor By Killing Him In Fiery Crash
The WWII vet was honored — for "a lifetime of blood donations" — with a ride at Texas Motor Speedway when his car plowed into the wall, killing him. How will they honor him for his organ donations? [AP]...

The One Where The South Korean Speedskate Lady Grabs Her Coach's Crotch
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Last Night's Winner: Canadian Men On Skates
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the Canadian skatesmen, who prat fell onto the podium for short-track speedskating and held off the feisty Slovakians in hockey for a chance at gold against Amerika....

Sorry, ESPN, But Your Audience Does Not Want To Read About Florida QB's Dad's Prostate Cancer, Apparently
Granted, this was an odd story to have on the front page of ESPN, but it certainly didn't warrant the anonymous, angry hordes completely knee-capping the thing in the cruelest ways possible....

This Would Never Have Happened If We Still Had Beepers
Patrick Beckert was an alternate for the 1000m, so when one skater went down injured, it might as well have been glory calling. But he didn't answer, because his cell phone was turned off. [Bild]...

Always The Bridesmaid, Never The Bronze
You know how athletes' repetitive actions eventually become muscle memory? It's like that for Daniela Anschütz-Thoms and that dejected, hunched-over pose. You see, Daniela has a nasty habit of coming in fourth....

Poor Layla Kiffin's Facebook Fan Page Has Also Been Set On Fire
Last year, Clay Travis started a Facebook fan page called "Our Coach's Wife Is Hotter Than Yours" when Layla was still wearing Circus Peanut orange as a member of the UT family. In recent hours, she's lost some fans....

Boston's "Santa Speedo Run" Brings Out All Sorts Of People
And not just ones who like to celebrate Christmas by showing off how a corporate membership at the Boston Sports Club has sculpted their bodies. No, it also brings out the lurking perverts. (Not Jay Mariotti.) [Boston.com]...

Niche Sport Gets Basic Cable Benefactor
Desperately in need of cash, the U.S. speedskating team has turned to that living embodiment of everything that is right and good about America: Stephen Colbert....

Medicine Man Attempts To Lift Curse At Talladega, Opens Up Deadspin Comment Section To Ricky Bobby Jokes
Local medicine man Robert Thrower used a a bowl containing tobacco, red cedar, everlasting (rabbit tobacco) and wild sage to perform an ancient ceremony in an effort to "restore balance" to the land surrounding the Talladega Superspeedway....

Swimming Records Made To Never Be Broken
Exotic fancypants swimsuits bestow ridiculous Aquaman-like qualities on anyone who wears one, which is why swimming officials have officially banned the suits—right after every record in the books is shattered beyond repair....

Tough Week For Phillies Fans All Around
First you have Marco Scutaro nabbing second after a walk as the Phillies infield snoozes, then you have two broads bashing each other in the stands at CBP because they're so distraught over it. [The Fightins]...

When Will America End The Deadly Scourge Of School Bus Racing?
Forget about NASCAR's restrictor plate insanity—what racing authorities really need to concentrate on is how to keep the time-honored sport of figure-eight school bus races from turning into a degrading carnival side-show. Remember when it used to be about the bus driving?...

NASCAR Still Dealing With Its Talladega Identity Crisis
I'm not sure if everyone has weighed in on the Carl Edwards restrictor plate mess, but there's been enough chatter from drivers past and present to show that everyone involved in racing has an opinion....

Jason Richardson's Confident In His Driving Ability
The Phoenix Suns' guard was arrested for driving 90mph in a 35mph zone. Oh, and he had his three-year-old son "unrestrained" in the car with him at the time. [ESPN]...

Matt Cassel Got A Little Wet At The ESPN Party
For the most part, this Super Bowl XLIII party weekend seemed relatively tame compared to previous years. That is until somebody at the ESPN party peed on Patriots' quarterback Matt Cassel....