spoiler Page 8 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Abbey Clancy Decides To Forgive Naughty Peter Crouch
Those who enjoyed yesterday's particularly good looking list of Women Scorned might have noticed that around 33.3 percent of them still managed to forge ahead with their relationships in spite of the various allegations regarding French underpants models and saggy 93-year-old prostitutes....
Is Joey Barton’s Mustache An Homage To A Hooligan Movie?
Of course, the answer to the headline question is no, it probably isn't. It could equally be an homage to Freddie Mercury, or the one with the mustache out of Hall and Oates [Ed. It's Oates]....
Those Stjarnan Chaps Are At It Again
As spotted by our pals at Pies, the Icelanders who clearly spend more time coming up with dance routines than learning how to tackle have been really quite busy....
Craig Bellamy Banned From Training With Man City
There used to be a time when The Spoiler, along with the rest of the planet, hated Craig Bellamy with a seething, unhealthy passion....
The Spoiler’s 10 Premier League Predictions
Get really excited everyone—the Premier League is back! This is wonderful news, and hopefully a couple of decent weekends will blow away the awful cobwebs left behind by a very disappointing World Cup....
Manchester United Sign A Talented, Young Homeless Guy (UPDATE)
In a real life football reimagining of Charles Dickens's greatest novel-turned-musical, Oliver Twist, Sir Alex Ferguson has gotten all Mr Brownlow about it, and signed a former Homeless World Cup star for Man United....
Robinho Misses Out On Barca Move By Being Troublesome
Like an early 1990s Mickey Rourke, Robinho is increasingly looking like a man with buckets of talent who no one particularly wants to work with....
Joe Cole Is Better Than Lionel Messi, Insists Steven Gerrard
You'd think that footballers would learn from their mistakes. But as sure as the sun sets, eggs is eggs, and as sure as Ashley Cole will inevitably end up with his oozing hands dancing all over the wrong woman's naked body......
Javier Hernandez’s Face Scores Important Goal Against Chelsea
On your first day at work, it's all about keeping your head down, not attracting too much attention to yourself, and definitely not doing anything clumsy/humiliating....
Lady Footballer In Humiliating Handball Mix Up!
As embarrassing mistakes go, this one is up there with accidentally calling your teacher "Mummy", or unknowingly leaving your flies open during a bumpy bus journey....
Humiliating Goal Miss Alert: Rui Miguel Edition
Everyone's been there - just you and the goal, the ball floating in. Man, you could pelvic thrust it in if you really wanted to....
Startling Penalty Miss Alert: Spanish Second Division Edition
Mind doctors will tell you that the key to a decent penalty is a technique called "positive visualisation". Mehmet Aurelio is not at the forefront of this practice....
American Footballer’s Soccer-Themed Touchdown Celebration
It was a toss up for the final video treat of the day - between the above, and a rendition of "Fire" by Kasabian, now that it's been unveiled as the official football song for the coming season....
Artful Shevchenko Pickpockets A Football Reporter
Chancers, grifters and terrifying mobs of tiny vagrant children have got this one down to a fine art — simply distract your victim by doing a funny little dance, whilst your robbing partner deftly rifles through his/her pockets looking for loot....
Frank Lampard Humiliated By A Cartoon Character
It's a particularly sad day for Frankie Lamps, with news (in The Sun) that a great big pile of golden iPods emblazoned with his extravagant autograph have been "melted down" and replaced with a popular Japanese cartoon character, called Hello Kitty....
Young Man United Lad Scores A Really Lovely Goal
Tom Cleverley: remember the name. He scored a goal in the match against the MLS All Stars, which would be described in America as "awesome", or "win!", or "neat", or "rad"....
A Short Video Tribute To Diego Maradona, The Manager
As mentioned yesterday, the World Cup 2010 will be remembered for three things - vuvuzelas, a terrible match ball, and Larissa Riquelme's mobile phone deftly positioned between her enormous bosoms. But one thing was glaringly left out—Diego Maradona....
Real Madrid Man Announces Liverpool Move On Facebook (UPDATE: It's A Hoax!)
Of course, in the parallel universe known as "cyberspace" there are no secrets, so whilst Liverpool appear to be keeping schtum on any recent transfer activity, the Dutchman Royston Drenthe thought he'd throw caution to the wind, and announce his new job to his Facebook "friends". ...
Classy Penalty Causes Something Of An Internet Stir
Without deliberately attempting to garner any sympathy, the internet is a tough place to work — chiefly because you have to compete with nakedness, love makers, and bustling online auction houses before you can get your own tiny slice of the action....
Cancel Christmas, Cristiano Ronaldo Isn't Getting Married!
At least twenty minutes this morning have been spent scooping oozing chunks of warm egg from The Spoiler's face. Not an embarrassing breakfast mishap, you understand, but a clever metaphor....