sports Page 575 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Stanford Band Doofuses Still Barred From Cal Rivalry Game
The Stanford marching band has been banned from road games since May 2015 for a “sexual hazing” scandal, but they’ve been allowed to attend bowl games. They made everyone mad at the Rose Bowl last year by being quirky and transgressive enough to make a completely out-of-left-field joke about how muc...
Devin Booker Saunters Out, Signs Autograph After Extremely Chill Ejection
The Suns were in the closing stages of a road loss to the Nuggets when young Suns shooting guard Devin Booker made an official mad and got himself tossed. Booker then nonchalantly strolled off the court, but not before saying his goodbyes. He then indulged a pair of fans. ...
The Washington Wizards Are In A Bad Place Right Now
The Wizards are playing like a big pile of dog poop this season, and they delivered their most nauseating performance of the year tonight against the Sixers. Philadelphia didn’t even have their talismanic center Joel Embiid, but they shot 54.5 percent against the Wizards tonight and beat them for ju...
Russell Westbrook Touches The Sky And Ends Clint Capela
All hail Russell Westbrook....
Terrell Suggs Has An All-Time Great Fake Name
Rex “Walt Pulaski” Ryan snuck onto a Bills media call to try and massage some inside info from Julian Edelman earlier this NFL season, and his colleague Terrell “Hacksaw Smithers” Suggs followed suit this afternoon on a call with Dak Prescott. With all due respect to Walt, “Hacksaw Smithers” is in a...
Oregon's Devon Allen Leaves Team To Focus On Professional Track And Field Career
Devon Allen is a receiver for Oregon who was an integral part of the 2014 Marcus Mariota-led squad that finished second in the nation, but he’s perhaps most famous for his star turn at the Rio Olympics, where he finished fifth in the finals of the 110 meter hurdles. Allen has struggled through a pai...
Two Maryland Football Players Charged With Firing BB Guns At Students
Last week, a handful of University of Maryland students complained to campus police that they’d been hit by BB gun pellets on campus. One student was riding his bike when he got sniped, a couple were tagged while walking near Maryland’s football stadium, and another student got hit while walking bet...
Kate Upton On Cy Young Vote: I Thought I Was The Only One Allowed To Fuck Justin Verlander
Red Sox pitcher Rick Porcello won the American League Cy Young award this evening, beating out Tigers ace Justin Verlander despite finishing with six fewer first-place votes. Porcello won the voting 137-132, and two voters did not name Verlander on their ballots at all. Verlander’s fiancée, Kate Upt...
Roddy White Says He "Could've Died" After Scary Encounter With Police Officer
This morning, former Falcons star Roddy White was pulled over for a speeding violation in Dekalb County, Georgia. White, who has been out of the NFL for about a year, says that he was threatened by the officer, who purportedly unclasped his gun and approached White with his hand on it. White says th...
U.S. Soccer Still Needs Jurgen Klinsmann, But Maybe Not As Manager
We’ve been here before. Another disappointing USMNT loss, this time an especially egregious pants-shitting at Costa Rica, more tactical madness and puzzling formation choices, more hints of behind-the-scenes acrimony, and again, more calls for Jurgen Klinsmann’s job. None of that is new. What is dif...
How British Boxing Is Taking Over The World
Boxing in the United Kingdom is rapidly moving toward a golden age, its first since before the start of the 20th century. More titles are currently held by Englishmen, Welshmen, or Irishmen than at any time since the sport went international. Some of these champions, like Sheffield’s Kell Brook, B...
Karl-Anthony Towns's Three-Point Stroke Is Dumb Fun
Karl-Anthony Towns, who turned 21 yesterday, has already established himself as one of the best players in the NBA. So it’s a little scary to consider that his game is still developing and finding new ways to hurt opponents. One recent development has been the emergence of a three-point shot. Yes, L...
Frank Mason Buries Duke With Game-Winning Dagger
Rejoice, for top-ranked Duke has been upset. The Blue Devils and the Kansas Jayhawks played a tremendously entertaining game tonight in Madison Square Garden, that ended with Frank Mason tossing in a game-winning jumper with seconds left....
The USMNT Got The Ass Whooping They Deserved
The United States Men’s National Team is in a bad place right now. A few days after losing the opening game of the final round of World Cup qualifying 2-1 to Mexico, they traveled down to Costa Rica and got played off the pitch by Los Ticos from the first whistle. Costa Rica are a perfectly fine tea...
One Of Cycling's Great Doping Mysteries Has Just Been Solved<em></em>
When the Spanish police raided the lab of cycling doctor turned doping kingpin Eufemiano Fuentes in 2006, they found 211 blood bags from athletes he worked with, as well as coded ledgers detailing his appointments with those athletes. Some of the codenames corresponded to the names of riders’ dogs, ...
LeBron James Has No Patience For Phil Jackson
You may have heard that Phil Jackson referred to LeBron James’s inner circle as a “posse” yesterday, and that one member of said inner circle, LeBron’s childhood friend and business partner Maverick Carter, took offense to that by claiming that Jackson’s use of “posse” was racially coded. Now LeBron...
Eddie Alvarez Explains His Loss To Conor McGregor: "I Fucking Blew It"
Eddie Alvarez was completely dominated by Conor McGregor during their lightweight championship bout on Saturday. On his Instagram account today, Alvarez offered a succinct and depressing explanation for the loss:...
Minnesota Vikings Finally Get Around To Cutting Blair Walsh
Kicker Blair Walsh is finally out of a job in Minnesota, and the collective Vikings fanbase breathes a sigh of relief. ...
<i>Thursday Night Football</i> Commercial: Folks, Remember The Freakin' Dress?!?
The NFL has been dealing with low television ratings all season, and people have all sorts of theories about why that is. One theory that the NFL itself seems to buy into is that the league isn’t doing enough to appeal to meme enthusiasts, because I can’t imagine why else this commercial was created...
It's Goff Time, Motherfuckers
Strap the fuck in, because the 4-5 Los Angeles Rams finally gave us a reason to watch their quest for 7-9. Finally, after months of dithering, Jeff Fisher has made the move. Case Keenum? Benched! First overall draft pick Jared Goff? Ready as shit....