sports Page 774 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Webb Simpson Wins U.S. Open, Has Trophy Ceremony Invaded By Squawking British Man
Webb Simpson seized his first major title on a U.S. Open Sunday rife with errors in play by all competitors. At times, it looked more like the Albert Achievement Awards than a professional golf tournament, but by far the weirdest moment came after play ended when a man garbed in Union Jack colors...

Beau Hossler Is Young, Has A Missing Caddy
On the third hole of the final day at the U.S. Open, our teenaged Beau hit a shot into the sand. He would get on the green on his next shot, though likely gritting his be-braced teeth—what with all the sand and aggravation. His caddy then went to clean up after him in the bunker. But, it appears h...

Ukraine Solves Its Alcoholic Bear Problem Just In Time For Euro 2012 (Also, Ukraine Had A Problem With Alcoholic Bears)
Some of you may not know this, but Ukraine has a bit of a problem with drunk bears. They call them "vodka bears" because they were given vodka and forced to dance as a means of entertainment at local hotels and restaurants. Last August, efforts were made to stop the practice, but now I guess they h...

Anthony Hargrove's Agent Blasts The NFL For "Semantics-Gate"
Tomorrow, Roger Goodell is set to hear the appeal on all four current and former Saints players who have been suspended for their respective roles in the alleged New Orleans bounty program. On Friday, the NFL released less than 200 pages worth of documentation it intended to rely upon to uphold the...

Captain Mike Dixon: Women Arrested For Allegedly "Exposing Their Sexual Organs" On Golf Course
We are equal opportunity mockers here at Deadspin, so it is only fair that when we make fun of dudes whipping out their penises on a golf course, we do the same for women and their sexual organs. This time, however, it only took a phone call, not a shameful letter to expose the offenders....

Steve Urkel Threw Out The First Pitch In Washington, D.C. Yesterday
The problem with playing such a well-known and ridiculous character is that you completely lose any kind of personal identity you had before playing that character. We all know his name is Jaleel White, but who would ever call him that?...

David Nalbandian Disqualified From Queen's Club Final After Kicking Line Judge
The men's singles final of the Queen's Club Championship came to a bizarre end today as Argentine David Nalbandian defaulted the match after injuring a line judge....

Beau Hossler Is Young, Has Braces
As we await the final round of the 2012 U.S. Open, the story of the week has been the young amateur Beau Hossler. He is a 17-year-old junior from Santa Margarita High and he is tied for eighth, four off the lead. There's a lot to say about a performance like this on a course that is humbling the be...

Exclusively From The Mike Tyson Collection: Black Energy
Courtesy of Grant Wahl, comes this bizarre billboard in Poland for some kind of energy drink. There is a whole lot to lovingly scratch your head about here. The idea of a company marketing an energy drink called "Black Energy," for one. The other products that make up the Mike Tyson Collection, for...

Beach Soccer: Come For The Niche Sport, Stay For The Disgusting Knee Injuries
This....I don't know what to say about this. It is, let's call it, unnatural. To my untrained eye it looks like one of two things happened. Either the knee was wrenched in such a way that it dislocated itself from the rest of the leg and that is just straight up femur sticking out or, alternativel...

Curt Schilling Is Now On Leave From ESPN
Well, now that Curt is being sued by Citizens Bank for the $2 million (and other costs) he borrowed as personal guarantor on behalf of his failed video game company, 38 Studios, he's probably due for some time to sort things out. ESPN does expect the Baseball Tonight analyst to return later this se...

Josh Cribbs Organized A Kent State Fan Road Trip To Watch The College World Series
As Kent State and Arkansas get under way in the College World Series, let's pause for a moment to discuss something we actually like. Josh Cribbs, Cleveland Browns kickoff return wizard and Kent State alum, organized a bus trip for the Kent State family, shuttling diehard baseball fans 14 hours to ...

Is This Bobby Valentine Grunting Like A Weirdo While Another Man Raps?
The upload information seems to claim this is Bobby Valentine walking the streets, grunting like a lunatic. Information on reddit claims this is Bobby Valentine on the streets of Chicago. Obviously, Bobby Valentine is currently in Chicago to play the Cubs, but that's hardly a smoking gun....

Female Indian Athlete Accused Of Rape, Having A Penis
Here's a song we've heard before. A female athlete is accused of not being a female. This time, the woman's name is Pinki Pramanik and she is an Indian runner....

British Driver Anthony Davidson Goes Airborne At Le Mans
After his car was clipped by the Ferrari driven by Piergiuseppe Perazzini, Anthony Davidson's Toyota went airborne in a sickening twisting flip before crashing into a safety wall of tires. He was taken to the medical center but appears to be in good condition....

The Time I Tried To Get Tim Tebow To Sign <i>The Origin Of Species</i>
Earlier this week I went to a New York Jets open practice in Florham Park, NJ. I brought with me a copy of Charles Darwin's The Origin of Species with the plan being that I get Tim Tebow to sign it. It would have been a fun little bit of Gotcha! shmournalism, I suppose. Sadly, I was not successful....

Chris Berman At The U.S. Open: "I'd Rather Sit In The Corner Of A Deserted Warehouse And Slug Rats"
Chris Berman, the sentient sports fan's favorite punching bag, spent the last two days ruining the U.S. Open, according to many. Operating brains everywhere were firing off questions like "Why?" and "Is ESPN trying to kill me?" Probably not, but It is, of course, a symptom of the larger problem a...

Mark Grace, Daisy Dukes, The Meat Sweats And A Middle Finger: Just Another Day At The Ballpark
So, as many of us now know, the Texas Rangers have some absurd hot dog that costs close to $30. It's a testament to the American spirit and Texas in particular. The bigger the better. It's also perfect "human interest" fodder for visiting team crews to discuss when they roll in to town....

Jury Awards Victims $11 Million in Pacman Jones Case
Welp, it looks like Adam Jones can amend his Scared Straight syllabus. A jury has awarded the victims in that Las Vegas shooting case $11 million in damages. Predictably, the opposing attorneys each have a different take....

Danny Welbeck's Brilliant Back-Heel Volley Brought England From Behind To Beat Sweden 3-2
Sweden's Euro 2012 dream is over thanks to Theo Walcott & Danny Welbeck's work late in today's match....