sports Page 787 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Today's Blackburn-Wigan Match Was Interrupted By A Chicken
Blackburn Rovers are facing relegation from the Premiership, and need a win against WIgan Athletic today to even have a chance at staying in England's top soccer division. Perhaps as a statement against absentee owners, a chicken bearing the Blackburn flag was unleashed onto the pitch early in to...

"Here's Our Resident Nerd, Picking His Nose"
The backlash against advanced statistics in baseball by so-called "purists" can get tiresome, but there's no denying a few of the stereotypes about those dealing in the numbers game sometimes hold true. Here's a shot of Astros Director of Decision Sciences (seriously, that's his job title) Sig Mejd...
![And Here's A Woman Stumbling Out Onto The Court During Tonight's Nuggets-Lakers Playoff Game [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
And Here's A Woman Stumbling Out Onto The Court During Tonight's Nuggets-Lakers Playoff Game [UPDATE]
We're used to our idiots on the field being male and at baseball games, but stereotypes be damned! We had a woman try to join the action in Denver tonight as the Nuggets and Lakers wound down the first half of their Game Four matchup. ...

Now Bryce Harper Has Started Stealing Home
As if the young man needed to do even more audacious things, Nationals rookie sensation Bryce Harper stole home during a Cole Hamels pickoff attempt in the first inning of tonight's game against the Phillies. Some balls this guy has! (That is just an assumption that as a professional baseball playe...

Albert Pujols Finally Hits Home Run, Is The Nicest Human Being In The World
It was bound to happen and it could not have happened to a better player human being. One day after Mike Scioscia sat the struggling first baseman, Pujols came back and knocked one out of the park-his first of the year. It was just the kind of classy and professional move expected of a player of Al...

Here Is A Drawing Of A George Brett-Faced Half Man-Half Unicorn Creature
Sometimes you're just plugging along, minding your own business when out of nowhere you get a tip that includes a drawing of a nude-colored George Brett/Unicorn with a rainbow flowing out of his/its horn....

Former New York Yankee Great Jim Leyritz Will Be At A Penn Station Bookstore Next Thursday
Here's something: A bookstore in the commuter centrifuge that is Penn Station will host a Jim Leyritz book signing event for a book—Catching Heat—that came out almost a year ago....

Amar'e Stoudemire To Start For Knicks In Game 4 Against Miami Heat
Less than a week after "half his hand was just hanging off" Amar'e will start for the Knicks today in what will most likely be New York's final game of the season....

Mark Grace Helpfully Used The Telestrator To Inform Diamondbacks Fans About Technical Difficulties
Faced with an audio problem during today's D'Backs-Mets broadcast on Fox Sports Arizona, analyst Mark Grace took matters into his own hands—literally—by using the telestrator to let viewers know why they weren't hearing anything. ...
![Murder At The Kentucky Derby [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17lsx3t1ztkxijpg.jpg)
Murder At The Kentucky Derby [UPDATE]
Unfortunately that is not the name of the next Sue Grafton novel. Word out of Lexington is that a man's body was found in a barn behind Churchill Downs after the running of the first leg of the Triple Crown last night. A spokeswoman for the Louisville police, Alicia Smiley, confirmed that the death...

Is Jonny Gomes The Biggest Douchebag In Baseball?
The scene: May 5, 2012. The 13-14 Oakland Athletics and the 19-8 Tampa Bay Rays are all tied up in the 10th 12th inning in Tampa when Jonny Gomes steps to the plate. Gomes would give the Athletics the lead when he hit a baseball the smallest distance possible for a ball to be hit and still be consi...

Eli Manning Has A Banana For A Penis
Eli Manning's appearance hosting Saturday Night Live last night was passable, lacking any real groaner moments but nothing especially memorable, either. Well, except for Manningbananapenis....

Clint Dempsey's 50th Premiership Goal Was Fittingly Beautiful
Clint Dempsey's outstanding run of form this season continued this morning as he opened the scoring of today's Fulham-Sunderland match with a fantastic free kick goal, his 50th in the English Premier League....

High School Students In New England Face Suspension From Team Activity For Racist Joel Ward Tweets
After Joel Ward of the Washington Capitals eliminated the Boston Bruins from the Stanley Cup Playoffs, we showed you the racist underbelly of Twitter as users strained to find new and interesting ways to insult a black man. Not only were those users exposed as the knuckle dragging neanderthals they ...

Reports: Wisconsin Running Back Montee Ball Arrested For Lamest Offense Ever
Twitter is aflutter with reports of one of the silliest transgressions in college football. Montee Ball was apparently arrested and cited for trespassing during Wisconsin's annual Mifflin Street block party. The picture above, appeared on Twitter minutes ago and purports to show Ball being taken aw...

A Granada Player Hit The Ref In The Face WIth A Bottle Of Gatorade After Today's Match Against Real Madrid
A late own goal put Granada at further risk of relegation from La Liga and handed Real Madrid—already league champions—a 2-1 win that was followed by a series of red cards and an eventual riot police escort off the pitch for a referee that didn't grant Granada a late corner kick in added time....

"I Was The First Man On The Moon": Pete Rose Still Lying About Things On Autographed Baseballs
We've already seen the Pete Rose signed baseball whereupon he apologized for betting on baseball. His contrition was questionable, however, as he turned a buck on the balls. Nevertheless, It seems the Pete Rose apology/weird novelty signed baseball has turned into a bit of a cottage industry. ...

Cyndi Lauper Is Still Alive, Cursing Like A Sailor At Kentucky Derby Event
The Kentucky Derby is this afternoon and nothing says "prestigious first leg of the Triple Crown" like involving Cyndi Lauper in some low-rent celebratory parade....

JaVale McGee's Mom Does Not Approve Of You Fouling Her Son
The Nuggets blasted past the Lakers for a 99-84 Game Three victory last night, and JaVale McGee's 16 points and 15 rebounds had a lot to do with that victory. Alas, JaVale found himself victimized by some rough Lakers play, and his mom (a former pro baller herself) was not fond of what she saw....

Hawk Harrelson Went Silent For 63 Seconds After Jhonny Peralta's Walk-Off Home Run Beat The White Sox Last Night
The good folks at Awful Announcing have the video from the Tigers' walk-off win over Hawk's beloved White Sox last night. For 63 seconds (I counted) beginning moments before the ball goes over the wall, there is pure silence from the Chicago White Sox feed. The last thing we hear is the ball was h...