sports Page 871 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Indoor Cycling Crash Cleaves Bike In Two, Startles Racers
This crash happened at the UCI Track Cycling World Championship last month in Copenhagen. Alarming as it is, everyone seems to be fine. Otherwise, playing a peppy Killers song afterward would've been in very bad taste. [Break]...
Onion Sports Network Coming To Comedy Central
Comedy Central has ordered 10 episodes, which will air next year. It is unclear whether the series, referred to as "scripted," will be "The Daily Show, but, you know, for sports" or more of this with higher production values. [Hollywood Reporter]...
Traveling to Citi, Field of Broken Dreams
Do you remember these gals? If not, you should get to know them better. Sam and Susannah and the rest of Middlebrow Media will be helping us out from time to time. Today's topic: the delusion of Mets fans....
Dallas-Area Cheerleaders Piss Team Spirit, Piss
KXAS-TV does one of those routine cheerleaders-force-other-cheerleaders-to-drink-urine stories, only this one involves some gross-out B-roll and a "bad taste in their mouth" zinger as the kicker. Kudos to the awesomely monikered reporter, Ashanti Blaize. [Fat White Guy]...
High School Hockey Championship Decided — 21 Years Later
The 1989 New Jersey state title, abandoned after a measles outbreak, was finally played earlier this month. This story is like if Chris Chelios and J-Woww had a baby. [Star-Ledger, via Puck Daddy]...
Today In Girls Sports Hijinks: The Human-Step-Ladder-Dunk Calamity
At the intersection of two great genres, Disastrous Attempts at Dunking and Middle-Schoolers Getting Hurt, lies this dunk mishap. Featuring a back-and-forth not seen in 70 years (or so), this basketball game took a turn toward the hilarious. [emailsfromthecube]...
Today In <em>Sportscenter</em> Fashion: Now Showing — Hannah And Her Sisters
In which we examine the occasionally controversial wardrobe choices on everyone's favorite morning serial. In this installment, Hannah Storm....
Basketball-Playing Rats Are Amazing, Gross
This video of rats playing basketball is mounting a furious challenge to our dog-playing-basketball video for supremacy in the ever-competitive category of mammals-playing-basketball videos. What's next, an Eddy-Curry-playing-basketball video?...
A Jewish Fantasy Baseball Draft Kicked Off By A Constipated Young Lady
Do you remember these gals? If not, you should get to know them better. Sam and Susannah and the rest of Middlebrow media will be helping us out from time to time. Enjoy their Passover-friendly fantasy baseball draft. (Possibly NSFW)...
Here's A Video Of A Basketball-Playing Dog That You Will Watch All Day
This pup has the fundamentals and requisite pizazz to dominate a rec league and galvanize a small town, something that has not been seen since the Air Bud franchise stormed into theaters and stole our hearts and our $9.95. [YouTube]...
Annoying Flying Fish Slaps Woman In The Face
An influx of Asian carp to the Illinois River has given rise to extreme aerial bowfishing, a niche sport combining speedboats with archery. This is what happens when the fish fight back with some extreme aerial moves of their own....
NCAA Will Stamp Out The Plague That Is IUPUI
NCAA enforcement is swift and harsh, if you're IUPUI. Probation, loss of scholarships, and vacated wins all because they hired one terrible academic adviser. Remember when "lack of institutional control" used to mean something? [WTHR/Indy Star/Photo via]...
New Facts: Most Sports Viewers Are Republican, John Boehner Chain Smokes
According to this recent fancypants study, the majority of sports fans in this country tend to vote Republican. This explains why so many people start yelling at us when this site throws lefty....
Go Read This Story About The Torment Of Sportswriter Mike Penner As Soon As Possible
Christopher Goffard of the LA Times appears to have pulled together the most honest account of the final years of former sportswriter Mike Penner's haunted life were like when he struggled to find his identity as Christine Daniels....
The Worst Offseason Workout Program Ever
A longtime North Carolina high school coach is accused of, well, basically torturing some of his students after inviting them over to "lift weights." Seriously, this is Jame Gumb shit right here....
"It Wasn't Death. It Was The Ghost Of Dale Earnhardt, And He Was Smoking A Marlboro Red."
SBNation's Spencer Hall, America's Tackling Dummy, raced six terrifying laps at Talladega and realized the competitors who do this for a living are "Completely. Barking. Mad." Carve out some time to read it all. You won't be disappointed. [SBNation]...
Book Excerpt: "Confessions Of A Washed-Up Sportswriter," From <em>Rules Of The Game</em>
Today's excerpt comes from a 1968 essay by Gary Cartwright, anthologized in Harper's Magazine's new sportswriting anthology, Rules of the Game, which we highly recommend....
Kornheiser-Armstrong Feud Forces Clear Channel To Ban Cycling Talk
America is a house divided thanks to Tony Kornheiser and Lance Armstrong's "car vs. bike" stand off, but thankfully radio executives have issued strict orders for everyone on their air to shut the hell up about it....
Last Night's Winner: Sports Shouters
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like sports shouters, whose soapboxes were raised an extra couple inches thanks to Tiger Woods' triumphantly selfish return to Augusta....
Tom Izzo, Steve Mariucci: Young Lovers
These two handsome sonuvabitches knew they had something special: "Said Mariucci: "I swear to God, yes. People thought we were a little bit too close."[DetroitNews via Guyism]...