sports Page 894 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
ESPN Trims SportsCenter Fat
In case you were having difficulty spreading out your hate among all the SportsCenter anchors, take heart: They're making it more concentrated for you. In a move that had been anticipated, ESPN announced yesterday that it's going to three two-man teams. And "two-man teams" is accurate too; it's al...
Why, No, That's Not A Crowbar In My Jersey
Now, we're not saying that high school football players are inherently cretins or Neanderthals or anything, but when your team photo has pictures of meaty dudes carrying battleaxes and crowbars, well, there's maybe a reason the guys from the A/V Club haven't been seen in a few weeks....
Drew And Puppet T.O.
Been watching SportsCenter this morning, and have been greatly enjoying Eagles receiver Terrell Owens' interviews. He's combative, he's amusing, he's strangely lispy. But mostly ... he's being patted on the back by agent Drew Rosenhaus....
Rick Reilly: The New Henny Youngman
We know he wins Sportswriter of the Year all the time. We know he has some clever ideas from time to time, including that great "I'm in the car behind Lance Armstrong" thing from a couple of weeks ago. But when Sports Illustrated back-pager Rick Reilly mails it in, he's like worst Borscht belt co...
Oh, Terrell, You're <em>Terrible!</em>
Today's new angle on Eagles malcontent Terrell Owens: Those abs! The fine folks at OutSports ultimately call Owens a "cancer" — a term we've never been all that fond of, truth be told — but not until they tackle what's really important:...
This Week In Weird Foreign Sports
We tend to find European sports terminology hilarious, mainly because it points to how equally absurd American sports terminology is. So here's a look at the big news of the week in odd, confusing sports in other lands, with our translation. ...
Yard Work Upgrades, Eviscerates Peter King
Congrats to the wacky folks at Yard Work, who have revamped their site with a shiny new URL and an archive that could judiciously be called "improved." They blast off the new site with a pretty biting satire of Peter King's Monday Morning Quarterback column, which begins with a pretty fantastic im...
Yep. She's Throwing A Toilet Seat
We're not going to comment too much here, except to say: Dude! Redneck Games photos!...
Naked Cricket Chicks And Cricket Dudes
If you're the type of person who plays virtual cricket on your PlayStation2 — and, of course, you totally are — you were this close to having yourself quite a treat. The game version of Brian Lara International Cricket — we don't know who Brian Lara is either — was to feature a nude streaker base...
Mistakes At Si.com
Interesting note on SI.com right now. On Michael Silver's column is the following rejoiner:...
Hey, You Got A License For That Thing?
Someone just sent us this photo of America's sports hero Lance Armstrong, in the early days. Nothing much more we can say here....
Toe Rasslin'!
Many aspects of the World Toe Wrestling Championships, held last weekend in England, are hysterical. Here are a few:...
We're Not Gonna Make A Joke ... We're Not Gonna Make A Joke ...
Italy won the Homeless World Cup yesterday. Good for them. (Ahem.) A proud victory. (Cough.) They've done their country proud. (Er, yes.) No reason for any other comment....
This Week In Weird Foreign Sports
We tend to find European sports terminology hilarious, mainly because it points to how equally absurd American sports terminology is. We all might know what "a blooper to shallow left" means, but to anyone not intimately familiar with baseball terminology, that's just nonsensical babbling. So here...
John Kerry's Worst Nightmare
If you're hanging around East Dublin, Georgia, this weekend — and if you are, be careful of all those disputes with the Irish Republican Army — you would be remiss not to drop by the 10th annual Summer Redneck Games. (We find it infinitely amusing that the event organizers have a Tripod site. We'r...
Cricket Star Not Well-Endowed, Kind of Chubby
Warne, whom the British tabloids have been tracking for years, is being divorced by his wife after he was nailed for cheating on his her for the umpteenth time. This in itself is not necessarily newsworthy; athletes, we hear, are known to sleep around a bit, maybe, not sure. But the story here is pr...
This Week In Weird Foreign Sports
We tend to find European sports terminology hilarious, mainly because it points to how equally absurd American sports terminology is. We all might know what "a blooper to shallow left" means, but to anyone not intimately familiar with baseball terminology, that's just nonsensical babbling. So here...
Old Japanese Man Moves 100 Meters Without Dying
Personally, we had no idea they kept world records for different age groups. If you have to give an all-time record a qualifier, it's not really an all-time record anymore, now is it? We mean, hey, we own the best time in leaping from couch to rapidly burning pizza in stove by someone aged in the...
Just Asking ...
We're watching the Spelling Bee, and find it amusing that the head judge in a contest for children is judged by a priest....
Do Not Make A Montreal Expo Mad
Remember Ken Hill? The Expos/Cardinals/Rangers/Red Sox pitcher was the type of guy who always destroyed your fantasy team; the year you drafted him high, he collapsed, and the year you didn't draft him, he'd rock on somebody else's team. (He was also the ace on that great 1994 Expos team.)...