st-louis-cardinals Page 6 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
St. Louis Cardinals Release Statement Announcing That Giancarlo Stanton Has Owned Them<em></em>
Ken Rosenthal reported Thursday that baseball murderer Giancarlo Stanton will not waive his no-trade clause for the Giants or Cardinals. (The Astros and Cubs remain in the mix, albeit behind the Yankees and Dodgers.) Stanton’s refusal to go to St. Louis wasn’t a hypothetical one, according to the Ca...
Miles Mikolas, Noted Lizard Eater, Signs With Cardinals
Tasty stuff on the hot stove today, folks: The Cardinals have signed right-handed pitcher Miles Mikolas to a two-year deal. You may know his name from very brief stints with the Padres and Rangers from 2012 through 2014 (unlikely), or from his quite good performance in Japan over the past several ye...
For Now, It Looks Like Giancarlo Stanton Will Either Be A Cardinal Or A Giant
Giancarlo Stanton in St. Louis? Giancarlo Stanton in San Francisco? If you’re dreaming about where the defending National League MVP might end up next season, there’s no sense in dreaming any bigger than that. The Stanton sweepstakes are reportedly down to the Cardinals and the Giants, and Stanton w...
Purity Of Cardinal Way Being Polluted By Outsiders, Says Ridiculous Column
The St. Louis Cardinals have missed the playoffs for two consecutive seasons now. Some might say this is because they’ve become a middling NL team in both offense and pitching, and that an infusion of talent might propel them upwards from those low-to-mid-80s win totals, where they will probably nee...
Cardinals Eliminated With Robbed Home Run In Extra-Innings Loss To Cubs
The Cardinals’ slim postseason hopes were officially put to rest tonight in an extra-innings loss to the Cubs, who had already clinched the division with a win over St. Louis yesterday....
Jon Lester Is Not Happy About The Nacho Man
Last night, Cubs shortstop Addison Russell crashed into the stands and absolutely destroyed an order of nachos a Cardinals fan was eating. It was hilarious! Watch it again, or watch it for the first time....
Cubs Battery Lose Their Minds Over Blown Strike Three Call
The call that got John Lackey going was a really, really bad one. With the count 2-2 against Carlos Martinez in the top of the fifth inning, Lackey threw a breaking pitch that sailed right over the middle of the plate. Catcher Wilson Contreras did a bad job framing it up, but it was a strike. Even M...
Rally Cat Now Has A Lawyer
It was all fun and games when a cat ran onto the field during a St. Louis Cardinals game earlier this month. An employee wrangled him, the cat bit him, and Yadier Molina hit a grand slam on the next pitch. Rally cat!...
St. Louis Cat Nonprofit To Cards: Bullying Us Over Rally Cat Is "Inconsistent With The Cardinals Way"
Yesterday, we brought you an update on the Cardinals’ arrogant claim to the cat that ran across their stadium field last week. A local nonprofit, St. Louis Feral Cat Outreach, is caring for the feline until the organization finds it a suitable new home—with the Cardinals as just one of “thousands” o...
Cardinals Rudely Presume Feral Cat That Ran On Field Is Team Property
The Cardinals are planning a “Welcome Home” ceremony for a cat the team is publicly calling “ours,” even though they have not yet been granted custody by St. Louis Feral Cat Outreach, the local organization currently responsible for the feline and the process of finding it a new home....
Cat Found And Jailed For Crime Of Helping Vile Cardinals
Cardinals Cat, the kitten that invaded a Royals-Cardinals game at Busch Stadium Wednesday night and inspired the Cardinals to victory, has been found. And you know what? They threw the little asshole in jail, where he belongs:...
Cardinals Cat Is Missing
Despite the efforts of two different people, the kitten that invaded Wednesday’s Cardinals game and battled a hapless team employee apparently could not be tamed. It’s on the loose....
Kitty On The Field Fights Cardinals Employee, Inspires Yadier Molina Grand Slam
A cat ran onto the field in the bottom of the sixth inning in St. Louis tonight. It was adorable, and kind of sad. Poor kitty! Then it bit a Cardinals employee trying to take it off the field, and it was pretty funny. The announcers made fun of him. Poor guy! After the employee finally wrangled the ...
Yadier Molina Tells Mike Matheny To Can It<em></em>
How mad does an All-Star catcher have to be to air out his manager on Instagram? Yadier Molina, definitely mad online, gave Mike Matheny the business after Matheny barely stopped himself from calling Molina tired—or maybe old, depending on how generous you’re feeling at the moment....
Just Two Minutes Of The Cardinals Completely Fucking Up
The St. Louis Cardinals are submitting quite the wet fart of a season. They finished the first half at 43-45 and are currently sitting in fourth in the NL Central with a 47-51 record. This team is a bunch of bums....
Pirates Fan Tosses Cardinals Home Run Ball Into The Goddamn River Where It Belongs
You know where a Jedd Gyorko home run ball belongs?...
Human Element Rings Up Game-Ending Strikeout For The Cardinals
Here’s the scene: top of the ninth inning, two down, bases loaded, down 2-1. The batter is a rookie, and this is his first ever major league plate appearance. That was the situation Nats rookie Adrian Sanchez found himself in last night, stepping to the plate with a chance to bring home at least the...
Idiot On The Field Runs Into Cardinals Shortstop Paul DeJong, Is Promptly Tackled By Security
An idiot on the field in tonight’s Diamondbacks-Cardinals game bumped into St. Louis shortstop Paul DeJong before being swarmed by several security guards and tackled to the ground. While footage of the interaction with DeJong did not immediately seem to have been captured and shared by any intrepid...
Toilet Warrior Lance Berkman Will Speak At Cardinals' Christian Day
Lance Berkman, the former baseball player and man who was previously terrified of “troubled men” sneaking into women’s bathrooms, will be the St. Louis Cardinals’ guest for the team’s Christian Day on July 30....
Scooter Gennett Blasts Four Homers As Reds Bury Cardinals 13-1
The Cincinnati Reds’ Scooter Gennett had himself a night....