state Page 341 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Nicholls State Mascot Will Smash Capitalism, Slash You In The Face
Greetings, Comrades! Nicholls State was named in honor of a former Confederate officer, but since the Civil War is (mostly) over, the school decided their Southern Gentlemen Warrior mascot needed an refresh. So now he's a bloodthirsty fascist oppressor....
This Haircut Was Probably Not Voluntary
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Bizarre Sucker Punch Costs Ohio State Footballer His Season
Buckeye linebacker Tyler Moeller will miss the entire year because a complete stranger punched him in the head at a restaurant in Florida. (It wasn't a Gator fan.) The moral, as always, is that Florida is awful. [Columbus Dispatch]...
Southeast Missouri State Feels The NCAA's Sting
The NCAA has thrown the book at Southeast Missouri State basketball, vacating all their men's basketball wins from 2006-2008 because an assistant gave impermissible benefits to a player—by giving him a lift home to see his newborn baby....
Deion Sanders' Mom Is A First Amendment Hero
The amazing thing about this isn't that cops stupidly slapped handcuffs on a sportswriter apparently for the crime of doing his job in casual wear. The amazing thing is that he was arrested because he tried to interview Deion Sanders....
Appalachian State QB Sidelined By Lawn Mowing Injury
Armanti Edwards, who is 32-5 as App State's starting quarterback, ran over his own foot while mowing the lawn. He'll be out 2-4 weeks. That's why you should only let racist National League baseball fans do your yard work. [TheState]...
Bobby Bowden Has Had Just About Enough Of Your "Rules"
FSU's 14 forfeited wins puts Bobby Bowden a distant second in number of all-time D1 victories. The dignified thing to do would be to accept it, move on, and try to outlive outlast JoePa. That's not how Bobby rolls....
Michael Vick Is Back In Business (Sorta)
NFL.com just posted this cryptic statement: "The NFL has reinstated Michael Vick on a conditional basis. The former Falcons QB will be considered for full reinstatement and to play in regular-season games by Week 6." Um. Okay?...
Jay Mariotti On Erin Andrews, AutoSummarized
"Why was the Internet ... giving semi-lives to people with no lives?" thunders Mariotti, who writes for the Internet. The column goes on in this vein for 1,500 words. Let's send this through Microsoft Word's AutoSummarize function, shall we?...
Journeyman Wide Receivers Make You Question Your Mortality
Derrick Mason retired yesterday. He is my favorite Spartan football player of all time. We both graduated from Michigan State in the same year. He had a productive 12-year NFL career. I do this....
How Can You Miss Chuck Long If He Won't Go Away?
Who has the best job in football? Chuck Long, who is getting paid $715,000 a year to not coach San Diego State, or the consultant getting $125 an hour to figure out how to get rid of him?...
Stephen Curry Had Don Nelson's Attention When These Haircuts Were En Vogue
Good news: Stephen Curry's journey from high school nobody to NBA lottery pick is no longer just a feel-good rise to superstardom. With this latest point to plot, Curry's case is now a parabola of fame and fortune!...
The Warriors Take Stephen Curry, Knicks Fans Boo
7. Golden State Warriors: Stephen Curry, Davidson And to be honest, the Warriors probably just did the Knicks a favor....
Erin Andrews Is Distracting Everyone At The College World Series
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Ohio State Fan Dots The "I" In Iranian Revolution
You've got to be kidding me. A young gentleman in Buckeye attire is now the poster child for freedom in Iran. Let's just hope the Revolutionary Guard doesn't recruit in Florida. [Photo: Oliver Laban-Mattei/AFP/Getty Images]...
With The 58th Pick, The Boston Celtics Might Select The Globe
The Red Sox and Bruins own NESN. The New York Times, at least for now, controls a minority stake of the Red Sox. And soon, the Celtics might join the incest between Boston teams and the outlets that cover them....
Everyone Loves Golden State Until They Get Drafted By Them
There's a pretty amusing article about Golden State's pre-draft scouting camp where dozens of NBA hopefuls came to the Bay Area to show off for scouts and—more challengingly—pretend that they would actually enjoy playing for the Warriors....
Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before
Ohio State faces a team from the South in the postseason, loses 37-6. Wait ... this story isn't a repeat? And it was actually a baseball game? Oh, that's unfortunate. [Rumors and Rants]...
R.I.P. Media Guides, In All Their Glossy Glory
Michigan and Ohio State announced Thursday they will save up to $250,000 by eliminating print media guides, following the recommendations of other conferences. Here's a hint: Distribute them as PDFs, where a simple Ctrl+F can yield the most obscure morsel in mere moments. Efficient, eco-friendly and...
Florida State Takes Strong Stance On Chair-On-Face Violence
Florida State wide receiver Richard Goodman was arrested and charged with a felony for that on campus brawl last fall and has been suspended from the team. Oh, so suddenly the Seminoles doesn't want their players hitting women in the face with chairs? Sheesh, make up your mind. [Orlando Sentinel]...