steven-matz - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The NL Central is looking like it's Chicago and then everyone elsePicking up our tour through the winter plans for all MLB teams, and today we land in the NL Central, where the only monster within might actually be starting to act like it. ...

Don’t worry folks, the St. Louis Cardinals still suckWe’ll get the “motherfuck” possibilities out of the way at the top, and perhaps immediately speaking to them will hold them off for a little while longer. But they will happen. 1. The NL Central is complete clown-shoes, and no matter how bad the St. Louis Cardinals play they’ll never be out of it. 2...

It’s never too early to laugh at the last-place CardinalsFrustratingly, it doesn’t happen all that often, so when it does you kind of have to eschew the normal protocols of being guarded due to sample-size, and randomness in baseball. When the St. Louis Cardinals are in last place, you simply shoot that fucker right into the vein and kiss the sky. In our ...

Max Scherzer is the big name (so far) in this week’s frenzy, but does it mean anything?

No, I’m not asking, “Does it mean anything for the Mets?” Because as we all know, everything is meaningless to the Mets. Look for Scherzer to head for an MRI in June and discover that there are dozens of tiny, ambulatory gummy bears living in there. This is the Mets, after all. ...

Here are some more billionaire tears for you to drink up

The temptation is to label the Mets’ offseason a disaster so far, except that it doesn’t seem so out of character for the Mets. It’s kind of just a Mets offseason. Maybe it’s accentuated and louder than a normal Mets offseason, but the foundation is still very much the Queens baseball club. A clown ...

Maybe it’s time to buy Blue Jays shares

It was thought that this season would be one too early for the Blue Jays. All of their legacy entrants were in MLB full-time, but there would be growing pains, and the pitching wasn’t quite there. And both of those things are still true. But sometimes you can’t predict the league coming back to you ...

Choose your fighter: deGrom or Ohtani?

New York Mets’ starter Jacob deGrom is kinda having a pretty alright season. More than 60 games in, his 0.56 ERA is half that of Bob Gibson’s from 1968 (1.12 — the lowest single-season ERA in the modern era). He’s also striking out 14.48 batters per nine innings pitched, which would also be the all-...

Minor league team hilariously tweets S.O.S. as Jacob DeGrom methodically mows them down

“Fuck them kids” — Michael Jordan... ...